TN - Joann, 31, & Adrienne Bain, 14, Whiteville, 27 April 2012 - #5

[Holly G. Lightly]

One of many things I'd like to know is if AM was still at the house with GB when it was discovered that JB and the girls were missing. I can almost seeing him tell GB that JB said she was leaving him, which would make sense if GB really said he didn't think JB had been kidnapped, meaning he thought she left willingly. What a game AM played and I have no doubt it was played for years.

MOO

yep yep

This is what I was saying last night. I've never heard it said that AM was gone when GB woke up. He may have still been there. It would be the perfect foil, but would require nerves of steel.

 

[MsFacetious]

This is my biggest fear. As I've mentioned before I have two kids with different biological fathers. I sympathized with this guy.

An honestly involved Daddy who loves his girls... does not give up his parental rights when those girls are 10 and 12 years old.

Especially not for financial reasons. Gary is their father and that's how it should remain unless Alex voices some issue with it.
Has he even tried to contact Gary? If Alex wanted to visit her biological father regularly I think she'd be allowed to do so.


We don't have exact timing but "about" or "over" a year ago would be perfectly in line with the pregnancy/birth of his youngest daughter.

He has a 7/8 month old baby and he gave up his rights to his two oldest girls shortly before that because he couldn't afford them? :waitasec:


http://wreg.com/2012/05/12/biological-father-of-alexandria-bain-seeking-custody/


Not to mention... did he know Adam had been investigated for the incident with K? That happened more than a year ago too.
If her biological father wanted input on who she spent time with, he should have remained involved. lease:

Has anyone considered what that might do to K??? She just survived this ordeal with her big sister... and then someone takes her away?

There is no "I am letting this man adopt my children as long as their mother doesn't die" in signing over your rights.


Being a parent is about doing what is best for your children. Today I am so grateful my kids had two fathers who understand that. :tears:

 

[HaikuMommy]

This is my biggest fear. An honestly involved Daddy who loves his girls... does not give up his parental rights when those girls are 10 and 12 years old.

In general, I agree with you. There is a very nice photo of Adrienne and Alexandria holding MJ's two young daughters on his FaceBook page right now. So it seems he was involved with the girls even after they were adopted by GB (if the adoption occurred around the time his youngest was on the way). Maybe it was just a legal issue but he still had visitation? Apparently it wasn't as "all or nothing" as it sounds.

Anyway, if he is just finding out about the CPS investigation, etc. I could imagine he has doubts that GB is protective enough. He has to be feeling some strong emotions, and he hasn't even been allowed to see Alexandria yet according to his FB. I know, I know... he shouldn't have signed over his rights, then. But I don't think MJ did it because he's a jerk who wanted nothing to do with the girls. Not judging by the photo of all his girls together. I think he was doing what he thought was best for them. JMO

ETA: his two youngest look to be 1.5 and 3 or so in the photo, so it must have been VERY recent...
Also, MJ himself admitted he has made mistakes but he loves his girls and was trying to do what was best for them. I feel for the guy.

 

[HaikuMommy]

I'd like to address the "adoption for financial reasons" thing...

My ex-husband had 3 kids from a previous marriage. He paid child support, but there was a period when he was unemployed and didn't pay the full amount. He didn't go back to court and get the support amount changed, though -- because he kept thinking he'd get a job anytime now. After 11 months out of work, he owed about $7,000. Once he got a job, he made a deal with their mom to pay the full child support plus pay $50 a month toward the $7k. However, the state of CA (where I lived at the time) was not aware of the $50 a month deal, and one day they took every penny out our checking account (including my money and the child support I'd received from my ex for our daughter!). All our checks started bouncing, and we had hundreds of dollars in fees. We went to the local child support office and explained the situation. They said the state requires you to pay a certain percentage of your arrears every month, regardless of the deal he had with his ex. (Maybe 10% or something, I don't remember.) But then they did put the money back in our account. We were stuck paying all the fees still, because they wouldn't say it was their fault. For every dollar in back child support the state can say they collected, they get Federal funds. So they are very aggressive in pursuing back child support. It is no longer a family matter, it is a government matter. (And usually for good reason.)

My point is that the state gets involved in child support stuff... so maybe he was in arrears, and to keep the state out of it, they agreed that GB would adopt them. But that doesn't mean it was so MJ would be out of the picture, as evidenced by the recent photo of his 4 biological children together, after the adoption occurred.

Before we judge MJ, I think we should consider that he campaigned a lot to help find the girls, begging everyone on Facebook to put up posters, and put the pics on their FB profile, etc. I didn't see ANY of that from GB... just food for thought.

 

[Holly G. Lightly]

This is just a tragedy all around with so many people affected.

I also can't imagine what MJ was going through. I'm sure he felt helpless and guilty that he had failed to protect his children.

I hope he backs off from this for AB and KB's sake.

 

[susan1122]

YES!!! This is also my theory! I also think it is likely that AM may have intentionally instigated some type of conflict between JB and GB the night of the 26th, which resulted in JB's FB post and AB's Twitter post, plus may have had GB going to bed alone, and JB planning to sleep with the girls. I also wonder if AM had planned to have TM drive up during the night and then drive back with the girls, while AM stayed, thus being there when GB woke up. Do we know if AM was at GB's house that morning? I watched and never saw anything to make me think otherwise. What a great way to look innocent, if you had nerves of steel, and were a great liar. And, if you noticed on the store video, AM, who had already brutally murdered two people and had two little girls stashed somewhere, was cool as a cucumber.

I tend towards him having planned to kill AB and JB, arrogantly believing his plan was so perfect he wouldn't get caught. I think he had gotten away with so much in the past, including child molestation, that he was sure he would get away with this. He thought he had a few days. It was the perfect plan. He wasn't in a hurry. He didn't think they would ever look for bodies behind his house. He went to the store for a drink with his hair cut and his beard growing out, because he didn't think anyone suspected him. At that point he thought he still had time and his plan was on track. He had food and supplies and would quietly slip out of town with the girls "shortly".

AM=SOCIOPATH

My theory only

This article says that TM said murder was part of the plan. So there is something concrete....I guess. I'm not sure how much of what TM says I trust.....but I do think if she says it was planned it probably was. You were right!

Info is 3rd paragraph from bottom.

http://www.wmctv.com/story/18291547/adam-mayes-captured-2-missing-bain-girls-are-safe

 

[susan1122]

It makes me made about MJ, does anyone have his FB link still? I didnt save it I want to see what he has said.
I wish they would give an update about how the girls are doing

This link has an update on the girls.....

http://www.wmctv.com/story/18291547/adam-mayes-captured-2-missing-bain-girls-are-safe

Channel 5, wmctv is pretty awesome!

 

[LolaMoon08]

Oh, I just read back there's a bank a/c set up for MJ, you are kidding me? People try to profit off missing children cases every single time don't they? I don't know why it still amazes me.

Nice, isn't it? This bothers me deeply. I can not for the life of me understand why he needs to set up an account for donations to be given to him? I am sorry that he has lost his daughter, that he gave up! I am sorry that he has a daughter that has been through hell and back, one he also gave up! But how in the world does he think that it is right to set up an account for himself using his child's name "Bain?" Yes, the child who does not even carry his last name? Is that money even going to go to Alexandria Bain?

I should have known better than to think he might do the right thing and try to come to some kind of mutual understanding with GB in order to get both girls through this. But no, he is going to try and rip these girls apart -- and for what? So he can profit?

I don't understand people?!? I really hope a Judge gives MJ a big lashing if he even tries to split these girls up!

MOO

 

[MsFacetious]

According to him, Joann's was his ex wife. He initially said that his "ex wife and HER 3 daughters" were missing.

The pictures are of the two oldest girls with the TWINS (even though they don't look like twins.) Who are 5ish now.
One was when they were babies and the other they were toddlers. So those pictures are 2-4 years old.
So that is the second picture I've seen of A and A with his twin girls. There was another of them playing in the mud.

There are NO pictures of A and A in the last 2 years that he took. NONE after the "adoption" with the timeline we have.


However, there were plenty of pictures of the younger 3 girls. Lost tooth, newborn pictures, etc. (He had FIVE girls total.)

Then the ones not including A and A. "J family 2012" with only the 3 youngest girls.
"My 4 girls" with a picture of his fiance and the 3 little girls. That one made me cringe.
Signing over your rights or not, they are still your kids. Why not "4 of my girls" or "my girls, except for A and A."

I'm wondering if they went and had that professional one done once he decided to sign over his rights?

I thought he signed over his rights when he was young and couldn't support the girls. Hence his comment about making mistakes.
But, he already had 2 or 3 more girls by then... so he wasn't a teen Dad... he was in his late 20's.

Like I said, it isn't an issue of whether or not I feel for the guy. I was upset he wasn't more acknowledged during the search.
I get emotional about my own daughter's biological father not being involved. He's welcome to meet her, no child support required.

I absolutely feel for the guy. I just feel for this 8 and 12 year old girl far more. I hope Alex's wishes are considered. lease:

In general, I agree with you. There is a very nice photo of Adrienne and Alexandria holding MJ's two young daughters on his FaceBook page right now. So it seems he was involved with the girls even after they were adopted by GB (if the adoption occurred around the time his youngest was on the way). Maybe it was just a legal issue but he still had visitation? Apparently it wasn't as "all or nothing" as it sounds.

Anyway, if he is just finding out about the CPS investigation, etc. I could imagine he has doubts that GB is protective enough. He has to be feeling some strong emotions, and he hasn't even been allowed to see Alexandria yet according to his FB. I know, I know... he shouldn't have signed over his rights, then. But I don't think MJ did it because he's a jerk who wanted nothing to do with the girls. Not judging by the photo of all his girls together. I think he was doing what he thought was best for them. JMO

ETA: his two youngest look to be 1.5 and 3 or so in the photo, so it must have been VERY recent...
Also, MJ himself admitted he has made mistakes but he loves his girls and was trying to do what was best for them. I feel for the guy.

 

[winterrose]

Nice, isn't it? This bothers me deeply. I can not for the life of me understand why he needs to set up an account for donations to be given to him? I am sorry that he has lost his daughter, that he gave up! I am sorry that he has a daughter that has been through hell and back, one he also gave up! But how in the world does he think that it is right to set up an account for himself using his child's name "Bain?" Yes, the child who does not even carry his last name? Is that money even going to go to Alexandria Bain?

I should have known better than to think he might do the right thing and try to come to some kind of mutual understanding with GB in order to get both girls through this. But no, he is going to try and rip these girls apart -- and for what? So he can profit?

I don't understand people?!? I really hope a Judge gives MJ a big lashing if he even tries to split these girls up!

MOO

This is just another threat for the girls to be seperated, something they'll have to worry about and deal with the thought of having everything else ripped out from under them. They have an older sister and brother, GB's kids, they have family, visitations are one thing, but to strip that poor child away from her sister is cruel.

 

[LolaMoon08]

Well GB and JB knew AM extremely well and were quite up-to-date on his character and they allowed the girls visits with him.

But you think that if MJ had been more involved in the girls' lives, he would have been wise to this AM and it never would have happened?

Seems to me like the people that DID know AM and WERE in charge of the girls safety did not protect them. MJ is hardly to blame for that.

MOO


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

You do understand that Casey Anthony's friends all thought she was a wonderful mother? They can get you to believe anything about them. They will be anything and everything you want them to be... in order to get what they want. GB is just as much a victim of AM, TM, MM, and anyone else involved in what happened with his daughters.

This guy, MJ, can give up his own children to raise someone else's children? I'm sure that made his daughter's feel very loved! They were raised by GB! Not MJ! Elizabeth Smart's parents hired a guy who ended up kidnapping their child. Should they lose custody for putting their children in danger? No! Because sometimes, it happens. You allow people into your life, so dangerous, because you don't know or could never even imagine them being dangerous.

It's a scary world. But what MJ is doing is 150% wrong!

MOO

 

[HaikuMommy]

BBM
I'm sorry and hope to not offend any of you but MJ does not give me all warm and fuzzy feelings.
I agree. I have read some people thinking that it they don't think MJ is wanting involved in a custody dispute but genuinely cares about two of GB's daughters, one now deceased. This reeks of him being able to get money for an attorney and or to profit off of their ordeal and I don't like it.
From early on I went to his FB and looked around. He had a picture of his girlfriend (I'm guessing still girlfriend because it said he was engaged) and three kids with the Johnson Family 2012 above it. Nowhere in that photo was a picture of AB and AB. If he considered them still his family then why were they not included and if they just weren't available why label the pic that way? He obviously moved on with his family.

MOO

It seems to me that both GB and MJ have made mistakes in regards to the children... MJ for signing away his parental rights, and GB for letting them be around AM in spite of red flags.

Before we go off saying either one of them is trying to profit off this because they have an account for donations, can we TRY not to assume the worst about these two men? Trying to profit off the death of their child?! Really? Maybe friends or family set up these accounts FOR them. I wouldn't go assuming such nasty things about either of these men.

True, MJ wasn't friends with the girls on Facebook. Maybe he wasn't a very involved biodad. Maybe he was even a deadbeat dad, I don't know. But to assume he is trying to profit off his daughter's death seems harsh.

P.S. I have a grown child from a previous marriage. I have two children from my current marriage. I sometimes post a pic of my "family" that only includes those living under my roof. We have to celebrate our family in sections sometimes.

ETA: I am also not happy about MJ trying to get custody... but he may know more about the situation with GB than we do. I am just trying to give both men the benefit of the doubt at the moment.

 

[LolaMoon08]

This is just another threat for the girls to be seperated, something they'll have to worry about and deal with the thought of having everything else ripped out from under them. They have an older sister and brother, GB's kids, they have family, visitations are one thing, but to strip that poor child away from her sister is cruel.

I think it's disgusting! Why would that even be on his mind? Separating the girls shouldn't even have crossed his mind. He is not showing worry for his child, but what he can get out of this child's ordeal. Proof by setting up an account so that he can profit! :banghead:

 

[winterrose]

The girls made no mention of him at all on thier fb pages, not on friends list, family list, comments or photos.

 

[LolaMoon08]

It seems to me that both GB and MJ have made mistakes in regards to the children... MJ for signing away his parental rights, and GB for letting them be around AM in spite of red flags.

Before we go off saying either one of them is trying to profit off this because they have an account for donations, can we TRY not to assume the worst about these two men? Trying to profit off the death of their child?! Really? Maybe friends or family set up these accounts FOR them. I wouldn't go assuming such nasty things about either of these men.

True, MJ wasn't friends with the girls on Facebook. Maybe he wasn't a very involved biodad. Maybe he was even a deadbeat dad, I don't know. But to assume he is trying to profit off his daughter's death seems harsh.

P.S. I have a child from a previous marriage. I have two children from my current marriage. I sometimes post a pic of my "family" that only includes those living under my roof. We have to celebrate our family in sections sometimes.

I try so hard to give people the benefit of the doubt. If this account was set up by someone and he knows nothing about it -- he needs to come forward and say so. ASAP. There is no reason whatsoever that an account should be set up to raise money for him.

Any money donated should be put into trust accounts (monitored by the courts, imo) and used to help them with the years and years of care they are going to need. Any money left, when they are adults, should continue their care and College education. Money should not even touch the hands of MJ or GB, IMO.

MOO

 

[HaikuMommy]

The pictures are of the two oldest girls with the TWINS (even though they don't look like twins.) Who are 5ish now.
One was when they were babies and the other they were toddlers. So those pictures are 2-4 years old.
...There are NO pictures of A and A in the last 2 years that he took. NONE after the "adoption" with the timeline we have.
...I thought he signed over his rights when he was young and couldn't support the girls. Hence his comment about making mistakes.
But, he already had 2 or 3 more girls by then... so he wasn't a teen Dad... he was in his late 20's.

Like I said, it isn't an issue of whether or not I feel for the guy. I was upset he wasn't more acknowledged during the search.
I get emotional about my own daughter's biological father not being involved. He's welcome to meet her, no child support required.

I absolutely feel for the guy. I just feel for this 8 and 12 year old girl far more. I hope Alex's wishes are considered. lease:

Great info and thoughtful post... thanks!

 

[RoseRed]

I so want to know what the lie was that tipped off LE.

JMO but he most likely told them she left with the girls and then they found her car that was suppose to have been seen in the same spot the entire time. LE then knew she did not take off with the girls in her own car and knew they had to interview AM again.

 

[winterrose]

I try so hard to give people the benefit of the doubt. If this account was set up by someone and he knows nothing about it -- he needs to come forward and say so. ASAP. There is no reason whatsoever that an account should be set up to raise money for him.

Any money donated should be put into trust accounts (monitored by the courts, imo) and used to help them with the years and years of care they are going to need. Any money left, when they are adults, should continue their care and College education. Money should not even touch the hands of MJ or GB, IMO.

MOO

You know I hope a judge can get all of this in place and quick,ITA.

 

[susan1122]

One of many things I'd like to know is if AM was still at the house with GB when it was discovered that JB and the girls were missing. I can almost seeing him tell GB that JB said she was leaving him, which would make sense if GB really said he didn't think JB had been kidnapped, meaning he thought she left willingly. What a game AM played and I have no doubt it was played for years.

MOO

It certainly looks like AM was a good liar and probably would have been comfortable and skilled enough to lie right to GB's face (and remain calm and sincere sounding). Moo

A friend of AM's was shocked that he would ever do something like this.....AM had this guy fooled. He lied to him on the phone about not knowing where the girls were and apparently sounded believable.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/05/1...itive-adam-mayes-obsessed-with-missing-girls/

 

[raineday]

I'm still not clear on whether we are allowed to make references to FB comments.. so I apologize in advance if this is an inappropriate. The FB page I'm referencing is a public page. (News Channel 3 Official Fan Page) ..out of Memphis.

MJ commented on a public post from Chanel 3's FB page. He stated he would like to come to a agreement with GB where both girls can have love and support from all family members.

He states that he is not trying to harm GB, saying that they considered each other close friends, and would like both families to be close in the future.

My company is a local organization based in Memphis and we are "friends" with MJ on FB, although I do not know him personally. He and his friends say that he stayed in contact with the girls, although he hasn't spoken to AB since her rescue. (As of yesterday.) He does have recent pictures of himself with his two older daughters on FB to support this. These pics are not "public" and some are "tagged."

In one post that MJ commented on, TB (GB's oldest daughter) also commented. She says that the Bain family is not preventing her sister from seeing anyone (I assume she is referring to her step-sister, Alex) and that her sister speaks for herself.

IMO, I am hesitant to make speculation or judgement on any side. We are obviously on the outside looking in and know very little about the dynamics of the family and this horrific situation. IMO, I believe these little girls have so much support -- friends, family, LE, social workers, counselors, community & etc. -- and will come out on top. They are deeply loved by so many.