TN - Joann, 31, & Adrienne Bain, 14, Whiteville, 27 April 2012 - #5

[hollyblue]

Just thinking out loud. Gary must have taken AM under his wing...knowing how his family was...especially after being married to his sister. I guess what I'm having trouble comprehending is if the relationship the Bains had between AM & TM was that close, then they would also know the dynamics of their relationship. Did TM ever confide to Joann or even the eldest daughter at times? Had the Bains ever taken a trip over to the Mayes house in TN or MS to see the living conditions? It was stated by one of LE that the house in TN (now abandoned) was pretty delapidated, yet the girls were allowed to spend the week-end. IE: Thinking the house may not have had running water...and surely unkept. The Bains obviously felt comfortable letting them babysit ----even for the whole week-end at times. (stated about twice a month). IDK, but my question would be "Why?" They obviously spent time with their bio father too...and his other family.

So many questions I want answered. I'm still on the fence about his interest being for molestation or a true ever, slow growing, wanting, delusion of the girls being his own.

The story needs to be told.

Also, where did GB think AM was the whole day Friday? After all, he was supposed to be helping GB load the truck/trailer for the move? Surely he and LE thought something was amuck when he didn't return? Did he try and contact him...or TM?

:sigh:

 

[cluciano63]

Is it known for sure that the adoption and the giving up parental rights was all done legally, in court, etc...? Just wondering if there is anything more than FB posts and internet posts showing that this all happened officially.

 

[rachaellouise]

some parts of this really don't sit right with me and leaves me with a few questions I'd like to put forward:

1. If Joann and the oldest daughter were killed in the garage, they must've been in the house beforehand. How were they taken out? Surely GB and JB would've been in bed together and he would've woken up?

2. If this is true and they were forced out, would there not have been a struggle/? So surely evidence of that struggle would have remained in the house when GB woke up.

3. Why was GB so quiet throughout all of this? His wife and 3 daughters were missing and yet hardly a peep from him?

 

[LolaMoon08]

I don't think it would be good or healthy for the girls to be seperated after all they have lost and been through together.

They should not be separated and I can not believe that MJ wants to do this? I'm sorry, but he gave up his rights to his girls a long time ago. I'm sure he may have regrets, but where was he when all this was going on? Had he stayed in his children's lives, he would be up-to-date on who this AM character was. He wasn't! He didn't have any interest in his girls until one was murdered and one was kidnapped? I'm sorry, but that doesn't fly.

There is no way Alexandria and Kyliyah should be separated. It is the most cruel thing I can think of doing! They just lost their mother and their sister. They are all they have. Each other. They are going to need each other. They have a long way to go before they can even begin to heal and now he wants to put them through a custody battle? Bad! Bad idea!

GB and MJ should come to some kind of mutual decision. I also believe it should be up to Alexandria if she even wants MJ in her life. She doesn't even know him, does she?

Ugh!! I'm sure he is not doing to be malicious and his intentions are pure (I hope), but he really is not thinking about Alexandria to release this kind of information. It should be a private matter than can be dealt with in house. They should not have to girls worry about being separated after all they have been through.

MOO

 

[SoBeCzar]

We all wonder why JB and GB let the girls stay with AM and TM. I think they probably got the speil from AM that he and TM couldn't have children and they just love spending time with the girls...TM enjoys taking care of them so much...We'll do this with them and make a nice dinner and have such a great time blah blah blah.
JB probably never heard AM and TM argue over his strange obsession with the girls or had any idea AM wanted them for his own. I am betting they had no idea AM told people they were his daughters.
Obviously they believed the DCF complaint was really his sis getting back at him and thought he would never do something like that. They may have even sympathised with him for what his sister had done. "Oh you poor man". And this would make the little girl even less likely to tell.
I was molested by my father as a child and used to tell my mother things he would do that made me uncomfortable. She would always come back with "OH he was just playing with you. He is your father, he isn't trying to do anything. You are too little to even worry about things like that." Years later when she found a knife under my older sisters pillow it came out he had been molesting her and another older sister also since they were around 3 yrs old.
Just saying people can scam you and if a parent tells a child someone has good intentions the child is not likely to argue.

 

[menmo]

It makes me made about MJ, does anyone have his FB link still? I didnt save it I want to see what he has said.
I wish they would give an update about how the girls are doing

It makes me angry, too. These children, from what I've read, have been raised by Joann AND Gary, not Joann and Mark. Shameful to do to someone that has stepped in to feed, clothe, shelter and love the girls as a dad should, when the bio one stepped out.

Just thinking out loud. Gary must have taken AM under his wing...knowing how his family was...especially after being married to his sister. I guess what I'm having trouble comprehending is if the relationship the Bains had between AM & TM was that close, then they would also know the dynamics of their relationship. Did TM ever confide to Joann or even the eldest daughter at times? Had the Bains ever taken a trip over to the Mayes house in TN or MS to see the living conditions? It was stated by one of LE that the house in TN (now abandoned) was pretty delapidated, yet the girls were allowed to spend the week-end. IE: Thinking the house may not have had running water...and surely unkept. The Bains obviously felt comfortable letting them babysit ----even for the whole week-end at times. (stated about twice a month). IDK, but my question would be "Why?" They obviously spent time with their bio father too...and his other family.

So many questions I want answered. I'm still on the fence about his interest being for molestation or a true ever, slow growing, wanting, delusion of the girls being his own.

The story needs to be told.

Also, where did GB think AM was the whole day Friday? After all, he was supposed to be helping GB load the truck/trailer for the move? Surely he and LE thought something was amuck when he didn't return? Did he try and contact him...or TM?

:sigh:

I don't know Gary but from the beginning I've felt like he was giving AM a break, probably because he knew the background of the family AM came from, or he thought he could fill a void that AM needed. I cannot and will not fault him for that. Yes, I wish he and JB would have seen this from the beginning and not allowed AM around the kids, let alone themselves, but it is what it is.
My brother was like this to a young man that he felt needed something that maybe he and his family could provide, mentally. I couldn't stand that kid he was letting his children around and he and I would go around, and around and around about it. His wife agreed with me but backed my brother. He didn't murder people, or kidnap anyone that we know of but he is running from the law right now and off to another state. I say good riddance but my brother worries about him as if he's his own kid.

some parts of this really don't sit right with me and leaves me with a few questions I'd like to put forward:

1. If Joann and the oldest daughter were killed in the garage, they must've been in the house beforehand. How were they taken out? Surely GB and JB would've been in bed together and he would've woken up?

2. If this is true and they were forced out, would there not have been a struggle/? So surely evidence of that struggle would have remained in the house when GB woke up.

3. Why was GB so quiet throughout all of this? His wife and 3 daughters were missing and yet hardly a peep from him?

Maybe JB got up for some reason. Perhaps she heard a noise and found her oldest daughter missing, the front door open and thought she was outside and just going to check on her. I am one that wouldn't wake my husband up if I thought she was just outside. I would wait until I knew something was wrong. I may change my thinking on that now.
I get up all time in the night and my husband never misses me. He snores loudly and truthfully someone would have to really make a commotion to wake him up. Maybe GB is the same way?
We don't know the sleeping arrangements that night. We don't know if AM maybe gave GB something, without GB knowing, to help keep him out. We don't know if GB takes something to help him sleep well at night. We don't know if they were having a few drinks that night and AM didn't drink as much as GB, because he had a plan. We don't know that the venting that some of us saw on JB's FB was venting against AM, which I believe it was, or if it was venting about school, or something else. We just don't know so much.

What we do know is that JB along with GB's help though out the years is what got these children to the ages they were/are, not MJ and I really wish he'd step back and know his place. He gave his two children up for adoption and it isn't fair or right to anyone that there is a spotlight on this family now and he decides he wants his daughter back now. Life shouldn't work that way. It shouldn't be all about MJ all the time and not trying to bash him but he should have thought what he was giving up before he gave it away and leave the daughter with her dad.

MOO

 

[FrayedKnot]

They should not be separated and I can not believe that MJ wants to do this? I'm sorry, but he gave up his rights to his girls a long time ago. I'm sure he may have regrets, but where was he when all this was going on? Had he stayed in his children's lives, he would be up-to-date on who this AM character was. He wasn't! He didn't have any interest in his girls until one was murdered and one was kidnapped? I'm sorry, but that doesn't fly.

There is no way Alexandria and Kyliyah should be separated. It is the most cruel thing I can think of doing! They just lost their mother and their sister. They are all they have. Each other. They are going to need each other. They have a long way to go before they can even begin to heal and now he wants to put them through a custody battle? Bad! Bad idea!

GB and MJ should come to some kind of mutual decision. I also believe it should be up to Alexandria if she even wants MJ in her life. She doesn't even know him, does she?

Ugh!! I'm sure he is not doing to be malicious and his intentions are pure (I hope), but he really is not thinking about Alexandria to release this kind of information. It should be a private matter than can be dealt with in house. They should not have to girls worry about being separated after all they have been through.

MOO

Well GB and JB knew AM extremely well and were quite up-to-date on his character and they allowed the girls visits with him.

But you think that if MJ had been more involved in the girls' lives, he would have been wise to this AM and it never would have happened?

Seems to me like the people that DID know AM and WERE in charge of the girls safety did not protect them. MJ is hardly to blame for that.

MOO


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[dotr]

http://www.abc24.com/news/local/sto...ily-after-Murders/4PUIUEhaKUmvDYaMEhGmSw.cspx

“Gary Bain loves these children very much and loved Jo Ann very much," said David Livingston, an attorney acting as spokesman for the Bain family. “I have seen all the things on the internet describing their relationship and I can assure you they had a very strong relationship and a very loving marriage.”"




"On Saturday, May 12, the surviving girls were scheduled to be de-briefed by the FBI, then integrate slowly back into society with a request for privacy.

“They don’t need to relive this multiple times every day,” Livingston said.

He also characterized Mayes as a psychopath and said Gary Bain would never have exposed his family to Mayes if he had known of his dark nature".

 

[GrainneDhu]

some parts of this really don't sit right with me and leaves me with a few questions I'd like to put forward:

1. If Joann and the oldest daughter were killed in the garage, they must've been in the house beforehand. How were they taken out? Surely GB and JB would've been in bed together and he would've woken up?

2. If this is true and they were forced out, would there not have been a struggle/? So surely evidence of that struggle would have remained in the house when GB woke up.

3. Why was GB so quiet throughout all of this? His wife and 3 daughters were missing and yet hardly a peep from him?

The following are my guesses only!

1) The girls must have left for school quite early because a WS'er posted that the first bell at school was 7:20 am. I think it's possible that they were getting ready for school when AM approached JB (and possibly Adrienne) with some pretext to come out to the garage for just a minute. And then he went back in the house and told AB and KB that their mom needed some help in the garage.

2) If AM tricked them into leaving the house voluntarily, there would have been no signs of struggle in the house.

3) It seems pretty clear that GB initially thought JB had left voluntarily because of his plea on FB. After AM lied to LE, it was clear AM had something to do with their disappearance. If I were GB or advising GB, I honestly can't think of anything that he could say that might not escalate the situation and further endanger AB and KB.

I still have not the slightest idea of what was motivating AM. There's evidence that he may have been a pedophile; there's evidence that he may have been delusional. Heck, maybe he was a delusional pedophile.

Without knowing what was motivating AM, I'd be really, really afraid to say something as long as there was any hope the two girls were still alive.

What if all this was motivated in part by revenge against GB and JB? If so, then if GB said something that enraged AM, he might have decided to take more revenge and he had two victims under his control to do so.

Sometimes, the safest choice is to be as neutral as possible.

 

[menmo]

One of many things I'd like to know is if AM was still at the house with GB when it was discovered that JB and the girls were missing. I can almost seeing him tell GB that JB said she was leaving him, which would make sense if GB really said he didn't think JB had been kidnapped, meaning he thought she left willingly. What a game AM played and I have no doubt it was played for years.

MOO

 

[hollyblue]

Mayes MIL will be on Geraldo tonight:

http://foxnewsinsider.com/2012/05/13/what-drove-adam-mayes-over-the-edge/

Also, found this earlier but had gotten the Whoops! from Google on the WS site again and forgot to post it earlier. It's about a little friend of Alexandria's and she had to tried to call her.

Hutchens says she has tried to contact Alexandria by phone, but was told by one of Alexandria's relatives that she should try calling again some other time.

http://www.wmctv.com/story/18366280/friend-of-kidnapped-girl-excited-her-classmate-is-home-safe

 

[roxie]

Long time reader here, very little posting, so I hope I am following all the rules! Several days ago I noticed something that I found a little disturbing. There is an account at one bank (Bank of Hardeman/Fayette county) that has been set up for the benefit of the GB family. I then found a notice that there is another account set up at another bank (Farmers and Merchants Bank) for the "benefit of the B/J families" (J being bio dad). As far as I can tell this one was done by friends and family of MJ.

I can fully understand why the Bain family might need help. Funeral expenses, counseling (I hope) for the girls etc... But I don't understand why there would be money needed for bio dad's family. I have always assumed he gave up his rights believing that would be best for the girls. I also had the impression this was done long ago, and I applaud him if that was what happened. But considering he wasn't even a "friend" on the girls facebook pages, how close can they be?

Am I missing something or does anyone else think that collecting money for bio dad's family is a little inappropriate?
Moo

 

[GrainneDhu]

One of many things I'd like to know is if AM was still at the house with GB when it was discovered that JB and the girls were missing. I can almost seeing him tell GB that JB said she was leaving him, which would make sense if GB really said he didn't think JB had been kidnapped, meaning he thought she left willingly. What a game AM played and I have no doubt it was played for years.

MOO

And it's not like GB and JB were the only people fooled by AM. There have been plenty of people interviewed who never dreamed AM would do anything like this.

I also wonder if the "say no evil" syndrome was in play.

I've been seriously into showing dogs for many years. Something I've seen again and again is a relative novice who has just gotten into showing buying a puppy from a breeder who has a definite lack of ethics and/or education about the genetics of breeding.

Way too often, the novice ends up burned, with a puppy that is for some reason unsuitable for showing. And then the novice finds out that the breeder had a bad reputation... but no one was willing to speak up and tell the novice frankly about the bad reputation and how it had been earned.

It isn't just novices, either. A friend of mine was burned badly when she bought a very well bred, expensive puppy ***** and bred her to a very successful male. She had a dream litter of 8, 7 of whom ended up having a genetic illness that doesn't show up until 18 months of age (or thereabouts).

And then my friend started hearing from people filling her in that no, the stud owner wasn't as picky about breeding the dog as s/he said. It was that it was widely suspected that her male carried those genes (and may even have been affected himself).

People are really reluctant to say bad things about someone to a person who may be that person's friend. Once that person has been hurt, then people in the know start to speak up because they feel it's becoming common knowledge. But until that person has been hurt, people just don't talk.

As someone who DOES talk, I know I am controversial. I've been told to my face "I would never sell you a puppy." I'm just fortunate that there are breeders I respect who have been more than happy to give me puppies (I've only actually bought one dog in my entire life; all four of my champions were gifts to me).

 

[jjenny]

Reportedly MJ gave up his parental rights more than a year ago possibly for financial reasons. I presume once you give up your parental rights you don't have to pay child support? I am not a lawyer but seems if it was all done legally he is not likely at all to get custody (even if he does have DNA tests on both of the children?)
http://wreg.com/2012/05/12/biological-father-of-alexandria-bain-seeking-custody/

 

[GrainneDhu]

Long time reader here, very little posting, so I hope I am following all the rules! Several days ago I noticed something that I found a little disturbing. There is an account at one bank (Bank of Hardeman/Fayette county) that has been set up for the benefit of the GB family. I then found a notice that there is another account set up at another bank (Farmers and Merchants Bank) for the "benefit of the B/J families" (J being bio dad). As far as I can tell this one was done by friends and family of MJ.

I can fully understand why the Bain family might need help. Funeral expenses, counseling (I hope) for the girls etc... But I don't understand why there would be money needed for bio dad's family. I have always assumed he gave up his rights believing that would be best for the girls. I also had the impression this was done long ago, and I applaud him if that was what happened. But considering he wasn't even a "friend" on the girls facebook pages, how close can they be?

Am I missing something or does anyone else think that collecting money for bio dad's family is a little inappropriate?
Moo

Particularly since the money will probably go to paying a lawyer for MJ to try to regain custody of AB. For him to be using the B family name... wow, that just about defines chutzpah!

 

[hollyblue]

The following are my guesses only!


3) It seems pretty clear that GB initially thought JB had left voluntarily because of his plea on FB. After AM lied to LE, it was clear AM had something to do with their disappearance. If I were GB or advising GB, I honestly can't think of anything that he could say that might not escalate the situation and further endanger AB and KB.

I still have not the slightest idea of what was motivating AM. There's evidence that he may have been a pedophile; there's evidence that he may have been delusional. Heck, maybe he was a delusional pedophile.

Without knowing what was motivating AM, I'd be really, really afraid to say something as long as there was any hope the two girls were still alive.

What if all this was motivated in part by revenge against GB and JB? If so, then if GB said something that enraged AM, he might have decided to take more revenge and he had two victims under his control to do so.

Sometimes, the safest choice is to be as neutral as possible.

RSBM for space. BBM

I can understand his thinking JB & AM possibly took off together with the children after awhile ...and LE bringing it up. Although, if the realtionship was as strong as quoted by his lawyer, that would prolly be my last resort for reasoning. My question is pertaining to before he made the call to LE to report them missing. Did he ever call AM or TM to see if they knew anything?

I don't believe AM was still around when GB woke up, because of the specualtion by GB and LE they all ran off together. ..OR maybe that whole scenario was just a guise....to not rattle AM as to what they really thought at the time.

I so want to know what the lie was that tipped off LE.

 

[menmo]

Long time reader here, very little posting, so I hope I am following all the rules! Several days ago I noticed something that I found a little disturbing. There is an account at one bank (Bank of Hardeman/Fayette county) that has been set up for the benefit of the GB family. I then found a notice that there is another account set up at another bank (Farmers and Merchants Bank) for the "benefit of the B/J families" (J being bio dad). As far as I can tell this one was done by friends and family of MJ.

I can fully understand why the Bain family might need help. Funeral expenses, counseling (I hope) for the girls etc... But I don't understand why there would be money needed for bio dad's family. I have always assumed he gave up his rights believing that would be best for the girls. I also had the impression this was done long ago, and I applaud him if that was what happened. But considering he wasn't even a "friend" on the girls facebook pages, how close can they be?

Am I missing something or does anyone else think that collecting money for bio dad's family is a little inappropriate?
Moo

BBM
I'm sorry and hope to not offend any of you but MJ does not give me all warm and fuzzy feelings.
I agree. I have read some people thinking that it they don't think MJ is wanting involved in a custody dispute but genuinely cares about two of GB's daughters, one now deceased. This reeks of him being able to get money for an attorney and or to profit off of their ordeal and I don't like it.
From early on I went to his FB and looked around. He had a picture of his girlfriend (I'm guessing still girlfriend because it said he was engaged) and three kids with the Johnson Family 2012 above it. Nowhere in that photo was a picture of AB and AB. If he considered them still his family then why were they not included and if they just weren't available why label the pic that way? He obviously moved on with his family.

MOO

 

[roxie]

I felt for him until I read about the bank account thing.

My husband had a child at seventeen, and gave up parental rights to the grandparents. It was devastating for him, but it's what was best for his child. Years later when he was older and financially stable he considered trying to regain custody, but decided against it because, again, it wouldn't have been fair to his son to move him away from his "home". The child should always come first. However, they have always been extremely close, even now that the child is a grown man. They talk daily and even a brief view of facebook would confirm that.
It really bothers me that people might give money to help the girls, but that money might end up somewhere else.
Separating them would be a terrible thing to do at this point.
Moo

 

[jus sayin]

There are so few verified "facts" to go on in this case. Did LE find clues in the garage that prove that was the crime scene? Has LE released the cause of death? What we do have is what TM told LE. Some say she is severely retarded, some say she was jealous of JB. But, the info that has most influenced this thread is what TM's mom and sister say. I don't give them any credence at all. Any mom and sister will quickly begin saying things that vindicate their family member as much as possible, when that member has been arrested for a nationally know double murder. I say throw those words out the window. We have reports from neighbors, landlords, friends of AM, we have reports from JB's best friend on NG where she says about AM "there wasn't anything about him not to trust." We have reports from JB's cousin that says, "AM and JB did have an intimate relationship for awhile about 12 years ago." We have a report from AM's brother in which he makes it clear there was much sibbling rivalry and he doesn't think his mom loved him as much as she did AM. The MSM latches on to these dramatic wild statements from TM's mom and sis, and leads the nation to making conclusions based on those highly unreliable source. But, what bothers me, is how little proven facts we have. The facts show that GB and JB trusted AM. CPS allegations which are unverified mean nothing, but even MSNBC stress that AM and KB were "naked". (So, so sensational, cant be left out for lack of reliabilitly.) Most everything we have is unreliable. Unreliable things can't be used in a trial. I wish, that if anybody has real facts, such as JB's car was found so and so, or bodies were found buried in AM's back yard. Those are facts, but as to who dug the graves or when the graves were dug, or who drove JB's car to the farm, we do not have hardly anything that is reliable. I wish we had more facts, but I expect we will have as the investigation gets underway.

 

[HaikuMommy]

Reading that MJ gave up his parental rights "a year ago" surprises me. I assumed he signed over his parental rights when the girls were toddlers, shortly after JB and GB married. If he didn't, then I am curious if he had visitation and paid child support up until a year ago?

SPECULATION: My guess is that he had some visitation in the beginning, which dwindled over time. I am also assuming he may have fallen behind in child support, to where he owed thousands of dollars. If JB approached him and said, "We'll let the back support go if you let GB officially adopt the girls" a year ago, he may have done so because he had no way to pay the back support.

I think he still loved the girls... and I'm sure it was a heart-wrenching decision to let GB adopt them. Now to have lost one daughter only a year later, I imagine he is regretting signing them over, and also regretting not being more involved in their lives. You never know what you have til it's gone.

ETA: I feel so bad for those girls today, they must be grieving their Mom on Mother's Day so badly. Poor JoAnn! And now there is tension between their two dads, too. :-(