Found Safe TN - MCET, 15, Abducted by Teacher, in Maury County, 13 March 2017 #17 *ARREST*

[EllieBee]

Ok. I should reserve judgment. I feeling sensitive about how this whole thing has been treated by the players in this case and the town. Kid has been exploited a lot. Purposefully or naively. And she has been neglected by the school and treated by far too many as an incorrigible teen who ran off with a nice Christian family man she seduced. That is what the comments and actions of so many, including teachers, school officials, politicians, LE, the DA, as a whole, seem to demonstrate.

But i should give this poor lady a break. Walk a mile I guess!

Exactly, and thank you, Gitana.

I imagine she is still in some sort of shock. I know I would be. And I have to give her props for not defending his actions.

She is a victim, too.

 

[TeaTime]

JC did nothing wrong. She was deceived, betrayed, robbed and abandoned by her husband of 30 years with whom she has children and grandchildren. If she hasn't expressed her sympathy for MCET yet, it is most likely because she is experiencing her own, all-consuming trauma.

Don't expect so much of her. Her whole life was taken from her too and she has children and grandchildren who are no doubt reeling as they all try to wrap their heads around what he did.

Not to mention the embarrassment of being his wife and having people look at her with the stink eye everywhere she goes and speculating that she knew he was a pedophile preying on young girls he taught at school.

I have more sympathy for her than MCET, but that is just me. MCET was a willing participant, JC was not. And, no, I am not saying that MCET is not a victim of this creep, but she knew that running away from her family with a married man and hiding from LE was not right and she did it anyway.

 

[blue22]

JC did nothing wrong. She was deceived, betrayed, robbed and abandoned by her husband of 30 years with whom she has children and grandchildren. If she hasn't expressed her sympathy for MCET yet, it is most likely because she is experiencing her own, all-consuming trauma.

Don't expect so much of her. Her whole life was taken from her too and she has children and grandchildren who are no doubt reeling as they all try to wrap their heads around what he did.

Not to mention the embarrassment of being his wife and having people look at her with the stink eye everywhere she goes and speculating that she knew he was a pedophile preying on young girls he taught at school.

I have more sympathy for her than MCET, but that is just me. MCET was a willing participant, JC was not. And, no, I am not saying that MCET is not a victim of this creep, but she knew that running away from her family with a married man and hiding from LE was not right and she did it anyway.

I'm not saying she was not a victim, but...

Is usually just thinly veiled victim blaming. Such as your perfect example.

No wonder TC got away with so much, when people are so willing to deflect responsibility to the victim. I can't imagine how hard it will be for ET to heal with comments like these being so prevalent in our society.

 

[bestill]

JC did nothing wrong. She was deceived, betrayed, robbed and abandoned by her husband of 30 years with whom she has children and grandchildren. If she hasn't expressed her sympathy for MCET yet, it is most likely because she is experiencing her own, all-consuming trauma.

Don't expect so much of her. Her whole life was taken from her too and she has children and grandchildren who are no doubt reeling as they all try to wrap their heads around what he did.

Not to mention the embarrassment of being his wife and having people look at her with the stink eye everywhere she goes and speculating that she knew he was a pedophile preying on young girls he taught at school.

I have more sympathy for her than MCET, but that is just me. MCET was a willing participant, JC was not. And, no, I am not saying that MCET is not a victim of this creep, but she knew that running away from her family with a married man and hiding from LE was not right and she did it anyway.

I can't agree with this, they both deserve sympathy. I think MCET is a victim of TC just like his wife, because she's immature, she's had a very abusive childhood (and Tad knew this and used it to justify his actions with her) and I believe she looked to him as a safe place. We don't know what she was running away from.

 

[EllieBee]

I can't agree with this, they both deserve sympathy. I think MCET is a victim of TC just like his wife, because she's immature, she's had a very abusive childhood (and Tad knew this and used it to justify his actions with her) and I believe she looked to him as a safe place. We don't know what she was running away from.

Exactly.

Plus, the ripple effect. Their daughters. Their grandchildren. Their congregation. Their workplace. (Who is at fault, but not necessarily all the good folks hurt by this and maybe cutbacks due to lawsuits). ET's family, classmates, .....

It goes on and on. This parasite, given half a chance, will drain the blood from anyone unlucky enough to cross his path.

So many victims......

 

[Blythe]

IMO under the law ET is the victim, the only victim. Other relationships are collateral damage. Sad for all. DQ, TC's sister used the phrase "finding a new normal", applying it to her brother. Each of these people, ET's family included, will be finding this new normal.
Therapy will be indicated for many of them. Most will need to find empowerment again and a means to self actualization if they have suffered with weak self image and low self esteem.

Sometimes outsiders, the general public, confuse causation with blame. A young teen's behavior may cause them to become a more likely candidate for victimization. However, that does not mean they share in the blame for what happens.

JMO, I sometimes think that those following someone else's story may seem to blame the victim because they need to feel secure themselves that this would not, could not happen to them or theirs; so we convince ourselves that we are more disciplined, more in control or too smart or too good to become victims. We discipline our children so this will not happen to them. Perhaps we delude ourselves. MOO

 

[bestill]

Exactly.

Plus, the ripple effect. Their daughters. Their grandchildren. Their congregation. Their workplace. (Who is at fault, but not necessarily all the good folks hurt by this and maybe cutbacks due to lawsuits). ET's family, classmates, .....

It goes on and on. This parasite, given half a chance, will drain the blood from anyone unlucky enough to cross his path.

So many victims......

And he's looking for a way to reach the next one. He only cares about himself, contacting his family and wife at this time verifies that. Had he done it when there were pleas early in the disappearance MAYBE his sorrow and regret could have been real. He's only apologetic because he got caught and has no one!

 

[EllieBee]

I'm not saying she was not a victim, but...

Is usually just thinly veiled victim blaming. Such as your perfect example.

No wonder TC got away with so much, when people are so willing to deflect responsibility to the victim. I can't imagine how hard it will be for ET to heal with comments like these being so prevalent in our society.

I think the OP was trying to say that JC is also a victim, who is probably in shock and much pain and still trying to process that her whole life has fallen apart.

And the OP stated it was her opinion that she felt sorrier for JC than ET. Nothing victim-blamy there. Both are victims, but perhaps her life experience lends to her having more in common with JC, thereby able to empathize with JC more than ET.

We are not all going to see things the same way, but maybe if we take the overall intent of a post rather than finding bones of contention, it might be less prickly?


ETA: forgot MOO, IMO, IMHO......

I just really think the OP was respectfully offering an opinion

 

[TNSleuth]

And he's looking for a way to reach the next one. He only cares about himself, contacting his family and wife at this time verifies that. Had he done it when there were pleas early in the disappearance MAYBE his sorrow and regret could have been real. He's only apologetic because he got caught and has no one!

Exactly. He's not sorry he did it, he's sorry he got caught.
The length of time even proves that for him.

As for her not being able to call home, I don't think he allowed her to. If there was a phone he was using, I believe he told her excuses so she couldn't use it or want to use it. She believed him. Why wouldn't she?

 

[Doghairrules]

Not flaming, I thought this would come up at some point & I just want to give you all the perspective of a kid who grew up in similar dynamics.


My dad worked long hours & had no clue what was going on in our house. Since we were toddlers (at least) we were manipulated into believing that he was "worse" than she was, that we should be thankful it was only her meting out the violent punishments & that we should also be grateful that she was "kind" enough to keep our "misbehaviour" secret from him so that he didn't get angry & punish us far worse.

We actively worked to hide the abuse from him because she had us convinced that he condoned it. He didn't.

I was an older teen before it began to dawn on me that my supposedly threatening & violent father had NEVER so much as raised a hand to me in anger much less whipped me with the leather belts he had hanging in his cupboard (I only knew about the belts because my mother would drag me into their room by the hair to threaten me & show me what I was in for if I didn't pull myself together & stop crying before he got home). The belief that he was "the bad one" had been so ingrained that realising it was all lies felt like the earth had just tipped off it's axis.

Despite that huge realisation though, the years of conditioning to keep secrets were impossible to overcome.

Sometimes she even claimed he had instructed her to punish us in particular ways if we did xy or z, so there was no point going crying to him - he'd told her to do it anyway. She had him playing a game of good cop/bad cop with us, but he alone had no idea the game existed. In doing so she placed herself in the position of the "nicer" parent while she simultaneously handed out all the violent punishments & daily psychological abuse.

He only found out what was going on when she completely lost it in front of him one day. I was 18 by then, but even decades after that I was never able to tell him the full extent of what would happen when he was at work, because that rule of silence was just so ingrained - it stopped me telling the school counsellors the truth too. Back then it was like I'd been rendered mute, but at the same time it felt like everyone should be able to tell just by looking at me - like every assault & insult was scrawled across my skin for all to read. & after so many years, the incidents all flowed into each other so I could barely formulate it all into recognisable thoughts for myself, much less express it verbally to others. On top of all that there's also the implanted belief that you're just a bad child who forces people to treat you harshly - so throw some guilt & shame into that mix for good measure. Shame is a great silencer.


Short version : My dad never had a clue because our abuser manipulated us so successfully that we actively & voluntarily worked to hide the truth from him & anyone else who might've helped us. By the time I was 7 or 8 we were so conditioned that we didn't even have to be told to lie & hide the truth, it was just an automatic reaction.

So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't assume that this dad knew but sat by & did nothing. It absolutely IS possible for one parent to be completely unaware the other is abusing their kids. As someone who's been through similar (albeit far milder) circumstances re abuse from a female parent & the inappropriate attentions of a teacher, I have nothing but respect & admiration for this dad & the way he's trying to help his daughter & her siblings through all of this. It sure as hell can't be easy

Thank you for sharing your story. This mirrors much of my own experience growing up. And even after I was an adult and in therapy, I went every single week and sat in complete silence for four years. The code of silence is real and it takes a lot to break through it. I feel fortunate that I had a very patient therapist and that somehow I realized I had to keep going even if I couldn't talk about it.


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[Doghairrules]

Tad Cummins' Wife: He Told Me He Slept With Teenage Student, Asked for Forgiveness

https://www.yahoo.com/news/tad-cummins-apos-wife-told-152800636.html

I'm sorry, but he did not "sleep with her." He RAPED her. I still don't believe JC gets it. Another interview about how he betrayed her and her daughters and no mention of what he did to ET.


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[jessarox]

I have more sympathy for her than MCET, but that is just me. MCET was a willing participant, JC was not. And, no, I am not saying that MCET is not a victim of this creep, but she knew that running away from her family with a married man and hiding from LE was not right and she did it anyway.

I cannot agree with you. Let's look at a few scenarios that might involve a 15 year old doing something willingly and see if you still blame them.

1. 15 year old boy is hanging out with friends and their friend's older brother gives them alcohol. They don't drink much but they are tipsy. They all decide to go to the movies and the older brother drives. They get in a car accident and the 15 year old dies. Is this his fault? I mean, he went willingly, right?

2. 15 year old girl is chatting with a guy she met online. They mostly talk about stuff like video games and movies but the talk eventually becomes romantic. He suggests they meet up. She agrees and they meet up. He's not at all what he seemed like on the internet. He tries to kiss her in the car and when she backs away, he becomes angry. He drives her somewhere without any people around and rapes her. Is this her fault? I mean, she went willingly, right?

I could probably name 100 things a 15 year old would do that's dangerous and can lead to death or injury - shooting fireworks at each other, driving motorcycles/scooters without helmets, going without a seatbelt, standing up on a roller coaster, playing with a gun, jumping off a cliff, etc. The point is that teenagers' brains are still developing and they lack critical thinking skills. This is why the drinking age is 21, because that's the point where young adults are *usually* able to make good decisions about things and even then they often mess up.

Often it is easy to persuade a teenager to do something dangerous or wrong whether that persuation comes from peer pressure or pressure from a family member or authority figure. It's even easier when that kid has zero self-esteem, has been abused, and/or is bullied at school. ET fits in all 3 of those categories so she was a very easy target. She wanted to get away and TC knew that. He gently persuaded her, told her tall tales of wonderful lands they could run away to, and she fell for it. It's not that she's stupid - she's just young and naive. That's normal and expected and TC knew this.

 

[citigirl]

http://www.waaytv.com/appnews/counselor-explains-elizabeth-thomas-s-possible-thought-process/article_2d972e7e-293b-11e7-9b46-0b26b473acec.html

I think it's worth bringing this article over again to remind people of how ET got to this point and what may be ahead for her. Both ET and JC are victims. IMO

 

[EllieBee]

IMO under the law ET is the victim, the only victim. Other relationships are collateral damage. Sad for all. DQ, TC's sister used the phrase "finding a new normal", applying it to her brother. Each of these people, ET's family included, will be finding this new normal.
Therapy will be indicated for many of them. Most will need to find empowerment again and a means to self actualization if they have suffered with weak self image and low self esteem.

Sometimes outsiders, the general public, confuse causation with blame. A young teen's behavior may cause them to become a more likely candidate for victimization. However, that does not mean they share in the blame for what happens.

JMO, I sometimes think that those following someone else's story may seem to blame the victim because they need to feel secure themselves that this would not, could not happen to them or theirs; so we convince ourselves that we are more disciplined, more in control or too smart or too good to become victims. We discipline our children so this will not happen to them. Perhaps we delude ourselves. MOO

Appreciate your thoughtful post.

We protect our children because we know that unprotected children are in danger. We teach them to be aware, to stay in groups, to fight back. Not go with strangers.

So, in a way, there are certain behaviors that people generally agree that are "safer" than others, and we impart these to our children. And caution absolutely saves lives.

MOO, but when people are discussing the "holes" which allowed TC to prey on ET, they are not doing so to blame the victim, but to hash out and discuss what forces create a fertile environment for a predator.

Again, MOO. I just think there is validity in discussing reasons for vulnerabilty and signs of predation, if for no other reason but to educate.

 

[blue22]

I think the OP was trying to say that JC is also a victim, who is probably in shock and much pain and still trying to process that her whole life has fallen apart.

And the OP stated it was her opinion that she felt sorrier for JC than ET. Nothing victim-blamy there. Both are victims, but perhaps her life experience lends to her having more in common with JC, thereby able to empathize with JC more than ET.

We are not all going to see things the same way, but maybe if we take the overall intent of a post rather than finding bones of contention, it might be less prickly?


ETA: forgot MOO, IMO, IMHO......

I just really think the OP was respectfully offering an opinion

I don't agree with you. You and I see the post very differently. And that's okay.

 

[Safeguard]

I'm not saying she was not a victim, but...

Is usually just thinly veiled victim blaming. Such as your perfect example.

No wonder TC got away with so much, when people are so willing to deflect responsibility to the victim. I can't imagine how hard it will be for ET to heal with comments like these being so prevalent in our society.

Yet people can "victim blame" TC's wife and ET's mother, and be angry at their behavior, or the least littlest thing they might say, (or not). .

I would not be surprised if TC's wife had conflicting feelings about ET, right or wrong. She is entitled to work through her true feelings too, and will need to process those, as a victim herself.

 

[Blythe]

Appreciate your thoughtful post.

We protect our children because we know that unprotected children are in danger. We teach them to be aware, to stay in groups, to fight back. Not go with strangers.

So, in a way, there are certain behaviors that people generally agree that are "safer" than others, and we impart these to our children. And caution absolutely saves lives.

MOO, but when people are discussing the "holes" which allowed TC to prey on ET, they are not doing so to blame the victim, but to hash out and discuss what forces create a fertile environment for a predator.

Again, MOO. I just think there is validity in discussing reasons for vulnerabilty and signs of predation, if for no other reason but to educate.

Well said. :clap: There are "reasons for vulnerability" which are distinct from "blame" though there is a relationship between the two. A child can be blamed for disobeying while not being responsible for the assault done to her/him.

Glad she is safe now and I hope she'll get the most effective therapy.

 

[EllieBee]

I don't agree with you. You and I see the post very differently. And that's okay.

I appreciate that we can differ on opinion. It's all good.


I remember when Adam Walsh was abducted. I lived in FL. It was big news.

Before that happened, we kids were not chained to our parents' sides. Mom would shop and tell us to be at the front entrance in x minutes. And yes, even at 6,7, 8 years old.

But because we now keep a closer eye on our kids while in public, does that mean we are blaming Adam Walsh's mom for his murder?

Of course not! We should always be examining, learning, changing, bettering.

Again, that is how I took the post, YMMV.

I hope that ET's ordeal and the events than enabled it will serve to Help Save The Next Girl.

 

[blue22]

Yet people can "victim blame" TC's wife and ET's mother, and be angry at their behavior, or the least littlest thing they might say, (or not). .

I would not be surprised if TC's wife had conflicting feelings about ET, right or wrong. She is entitled to work through her true feelings too, and will need to process those, as a victim herself.

I don't agree at all with blaming JC.(What are people blaming her for, anyway?) She had nothing to do with what TC did. And what is a poor choice of words (in some people's opinions...not mine) I see as a reflection of the twisted crap TC has put her through.

The mom. If she abused her kids in the way that's accused...she deserves to be blamed. I won't say anything about the mom. IMO, ET's life was likely much more complicated than what's being reported on. But that's all I feel comfortable saying about that!

I don't think victim blaming of ANY victim is appropriate. Ever. JC is victim. ET's mom...she will go to trial to determine her status.

 

[Pamela_Brewer]

Now that she's gotten some of the truth, she should change her phone number. Otherwise he's going to continue to harass her. She owes him nothing. Nothing. God, someone needs to do a better job empowering the women in his life.

My phone can block numbers so that it doesn't even ring and if it's a number I don't know, I don't answer anyway.
NO WAY would I change my number!
I guess it depends on how long she's had it, but for arguments sake, say she's had it 20 years, her grandkids know it. Things need to stay as close to the same as they have been IMO.
TAD ? Tad who???


MOO