Boy, my heart goes out to Mrs. RC. The things you put her though. It's just not right.
Here's the problem I have with ALV. Let's say you & the Mrs. have an argument.
If you shout at her, you're abusive.
If you call her names, you're abusive.
If you walk away so you can calm down (and avoid the two above), you're withholding love and you're abusive.
Apparently the only thing you CAN do is never get angry and never get in an argument. Which is great if you're not human, but generally speaking, most of us humans marry humans.