4/19/ 08 text message (I missed it)
4/20 - tA sends nice text to JA - going to club . . . JA is one of most beautiful women
TA is not with JA . . . club with other women . . . compare her with other women he is seeing favorably - her inside beauty as well as outside beauty very flattering text.
next day after argue.
start see escalation in violence both physical and emotional - fights in May 2008 - any fighting from JA in her response texts? no . . . rants are coming from TA - tirades or rants sent to JA
May 10, exhibit #448 - aware these times are 7 hrs ahead - 7 hrs earlier is actually May 9 - coming from JA - text was supposed tobe sent to someone else and accidentally sent to tA - he seems very upset. he accuse her of being a liar - upset she having communication with another man - she was trying to keep it more to herself TA didn't want to know details of her life - not completely honest with him because he didn't want details . . she is a single girl talking to a guy
by talking to TA about interest in other men is a mistake - he doesn't want to know details - he gets upset - they are not suppsedto be in relationship anymoe - characterize TA behavior for speaking with another man - jealous behavior very controlling -further she gets more she pulls away more jealous he gets
when someone with the power starts to lose it -scary for them and they react in more controlling ways - talking about TA
when first met power differential between JA and TA - TA had the power - as she is moving away from him - he loses power over her in her distancing he doesn't have control. Someone jealous and controlling loses control it is scary for them.
scary is emotion of fear - dangerous of someone being fearful? . . .anger and rage are secondary emotions . anger covers up other emotions . . fear/rejection/powerlessness escalates fear when someone s abusive.
tirades are fear of his losing her - looks like it to ALV. JA responds apologetic and explains he doesn't want to know details. Nothing she said was untrue. when she doesn't give details he accuses her of lying - he launches into this text - some man she was texting with (why don't you have him come and "f" you in the woods?) . .. take it to extreme no indication that is going on - blow up make mountain out of molehill -criticize her consistent in these messages - her response there is some assertiveness don't ask more questions -reassurance she loves him and cares about him - advise they don't ask and don't tell about social lives and people they are dating.
his response - forget each other even exists - taken to extremes
she asked him to please stop the ranting, he resonds with more threats - he says she will b e held accountable for schizz . . . given her a lot of mercy - been merciful, perps of DV have perceptual problems - they see things others wouldn't view that way - times are fixing to get tough for her - another threat.
message not intended for him and he wants th 2nd part - thru tirade he wants 2nd part - controlling behavior - JA is trying to get him 2nd part even while not living in same state - she is not out of relationship yet. again says sorry - never means to hurt him loves him
