I see many of your points but this family have NEVER wordlessly tolerated anything negative about OP. IMO they have been disengenuous ('we are trying to save two lives here'); immature (to Nel, by an adult woman, 'you should be ashamed of yourself'); confrontational ('how do you sleep at night', muttered by, of all people, the killer); tasteless in flaunting their wealth (the cars analogy), hypocritical (all the religious tweets from OP and his brother when they certainly don't live their lives like any Christian I know) and quite possibly criminal (the phone tampering). As you say, it goes both ways, and they have never been on the back foot when it comes to getting their point across - they must run that PR woman ragged.
I don't agree with you at all re the facts of the case. You can certainly trump me there as Mapisa obviously agrees with you, but I still find her pick and mix attitude to all the evidence presented to be very disturbing, as do many South African legal analysts. I would agree that, in retropsect, a charge of dolus eventualis may have been the wiser course, but only in terms of an end result, not in terms of what i think took place that night.
Re the tampering claim, the Pistorii would have lawyers all over Barry Bateman and Mandy Weiner were it not essentially true that he took the phone and wiped stuff off it. If you want to claim he may have done that 'accidentally' then so be it, but it' an incredibly generous way of looking at it, almost to the point of head in the sand. We don't know for sure what was wiped, and it may have been harmless or merely embarrasing, but whatever it was the fact that it happened (again, they have not challenged it) is still disturbing in essence and suspicious IMO that he/they would do/condone that course of action. Very suspicious in fact.