Midwestmama78
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- Jul 19, 2013
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I so agree with you on this. I think some people are just "problem avoiders" (certainly not saying that she would have thought THIS would happen). I have known Bob since I was a teen and his mom ignored EVERY problem and he and his sister had many. Mom had a very rough childhood and "made good" and I think she didn't want anyone to ever notice that their family was not absolutely perfect. If she acknowledged the problems, I think she was afraid that everyone else would realize there were problems. She ignored a pregnancy, a drug problem, teens having sex in her home, an alcohol problem, children stealing from her, and drugs being sold out of her lovely expensive home. She is a smart, well mannered, lovely woman who married a workaholic that left all "home" things up to her. All she wanted was the perfect family. She would do anything to protect that image.
I don't have any idea if that is what was going on here, but I do believe it is completely possible for an otherwise "normal" person to completely ignore out of control children by constantly pacifying any doubts by repeating the phrase "this is only a phase, he/she really is a perfect child".
It does look like her bedroom may have been on the main floor and his bedroom may have been upstairs. I am guessing she just "ignored" the fact that there was an upstairs and paid absolutely no attention to what was going on up there - housekeeping or otherwise. I also noticed that the master bedroom had a sofa in it. I am wondering how much time she spent "sequestered" in her room - that was a common situation in the family that I mentioned above. Mom had a large sitting area (basically a 2nd living room) built onto the master bedroom thereby making it easy to spend most of her time in her private space.
I can't imagine the position that she is in now. I can't imagine where one finds peace after something like this.
BBM
It is amazing what the human mind can ignore or compartmentalize in order to protect itself. Sometimes the pain is too much and the truth is too awful to face. Denial is easier.
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