The entire thing just makes me sick!!! We can blame CPS, or this agency, or the state, or the president but the bottom line, those that want to harm or kill a child WILL find a way! We've seen it time after time!!! Even if the child is removed, they are usually given visits with the child at some point. Next thing you know, they have unsupervised visits, the family moves, and the child is killed, or missing. I don't know the answer, I honestly don't. But I'm not sure it lies in CPS or even changes within CPS.
It's a very draining job that those that undertake do so with the belief they can make changes. When it becomes obvious that they can't, they become burned out, and quit. In some ways similar to nursing careers. While it sounds great to want to help others, and the pay is good, and it's job stability because we need nurses, the reality hits at the first job. The turnover rates are through the roof, the seasoned staff eat up the new ones instead of mentoring and helping them along, and next thing you know, that new nurse has lost hopes and dreams, and quits. Sometimes looking for another nursing job, and sometimes leaving the profession altogether.
So many parents that haven't grown up and gotten their priorities in line. And sadly, I don't know that it's predictable who will end up being a good parent and who won't!! I'm old enough to have watch kids I baby sat now have children of their own. Kids my own kids rode horses with, or played sports with now have their own kids. Some that I thought would be terrible parents have blossomed into the role, and are constantly learning all they can. Others just would rather leave the kid with whoever so they can continue their lives uninterrupted. Little boys that have become men and fathers. Some doing the right thing, and being there as a Dad, whether married to the Mom or not, truly basking in the role. Some working two jobs to make sure the Mom and baby are being provided for. Others....still partying, getting high, can't keep a job, the jobs they do get are only minimum wage which isn't enough to support one person, much less three. Guys that were very active in sports in high school, now see that they didn't get that college scholarship to play sports, and now, have no clue what to do with their life because they never thought past that sport.
Some girls not knowing who the father of the child truly is, and refusing DNA testing to prove so the child can be supported by two parents. Two different young ladies I know refused until the child was old enough to look like a certain person because they didn't want their parents and others to know they had been with more than one guy. Neither have been true Moms. Instead grandparents raising them, until the Mom gets upset about something, and then uses the child as a bargaining chip.
Again, I don't have answers. But I'm so sick and tired of seeing our innocent children abused, neglected, and murdered!!!
It seems either you're born with maternal/paternal instincts or you aren't! Doesn't seem to be a gray area where someone is taught those skills. Heck I encouraged one couple to have their son tested because his speech was really delayed, and difficult to understand. You know what the Mom said to me???? "I had no idea you were suppose to talk to them since they can't understand anyway!" The child was 4 yrs old!!!! Never had books read to him, or was talked to during bathing, dressing, feeding, etc as a baby! I can't understand. No surprise when a year later the child told me he couldn't believe I had tomatoes on my plants because his Dad had a tomato plant and it never had the first tomato. Yeah....the tomato plant that was growing in the closet. *sigh* The same parent I called the police on for smacking the child in the face, and the policeman questioned the child with the Dad standing right that!!!
No amount of help from the outside seems help. Frustrating!!!
You can't force someone to be a parent and to love their child. It just doesn't work!
All JMO as always!
