bbm
Same here. When my uncle was killed, my grandmother said she never shed a tear... she doesn't know why but it's always bothered her. She said people showed up at the house immediately and she went into 'caretaker' mode, as if in a daze. My grandfather fell to pieces so someone had to hold the fort down. She said she took care of all the neighbors that showed up, my uncle's college friends, my grandfather -- even her doctor asked if she were okay and why was she acting that way. She said the reason may be b/c she just never could accept it in her heart, like an ostrich with its head in the sand. She said she was afraid if the first tear fell, that they'd never stop.
I also worked crisis in a hospital years ago. You'd be surprised at the wide range of reactions you get from people when a loved one dies, especially in the ER: some folks literally collapse and scream, others start planning, others turn into caretaker of the ones falling apart, others just get silent. There is no script for grief and shock...
