I totally agree, I am the same way.
I do not cry in front of anyone, even my husband. I can count on one hand the number of times he's seen me cry in 8.5 years. The number of times I have cried in front of other people, in public... One time in 10 years, other than that I have teared up like Billie did, but not actually cried.
I go into "productive mode" when a crisis hits. Billie was a nurse and I wouldn't be surprised if she also had a similar mindset.
People say "but when your kid is missing it's different..." And that is of course true.
But when my kid WAS missing I still stopped and said "What is going to help in this situation, I can't get hysterical. I will call family while I am looking, to come help. I will strap her sister into the car so she can't go anywhere. I will take the dog with me, she will find her. I need to first check the water, near the road and near the horses. Then search the cars and their trunks and the rest of the property. If I haven't found her at that point, I need to call 911."
I surprised myself with how calm I managed to stay. I thought I might have a heart attack but anyone who saw me never would have guessed I had a child missing.
I totally fell apart later, after we found her, made sure she was okay, had a talk about why she NEVER left the house, put new locks on the doors and got the kids to bed. Then I went into the bathroom and lost it.
The more I think about it, the more I am not reading into Billie's demeanor. Maybe I am biased because I am just so SICK of hearing from other people about how "dead inside" I am. But I would have to see Billie without her knowing she's on camera, 24 hours a day before I would judge her by her emotions. :twocents: