TX - 'Lori Ruff', Longview, WhtFem UP9863, *General Discussion and Theories* #3

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[ellemo]

5. LEK changed her name to "start her life over" -- as a break from her past. There are some signs in what is known of her life that this may be the case, points where she tried to "paper over" her past, to provide a fictional story so she need not tell the truth: her fabricated Letter of Recommendation from a boss in Thailand, & the entry in her resume for the years July 1992-January 1998. (She could have simply stated she graduated from college in December 1997, but it was important to her to account for those 5 & ahalf years.)

This is the theory that I tend to agree with. There is something in her past that she wanted to run away from -- perhaps abusive parents that she did not want in her life any longer. A few things make me think this, such as the fact that she so desperately wanted a child so that she finally could have a family. Also, she seemed to have a difficult time making friends and bonding with people (husband, inlaws). Many people with difficult childhoods have trouble forming relationships later in life. While it is clear that she was mentally ill, I don't think that was the prevailing reason that she cut off ties. She was very functional and was able to not just create one identity, but to then change her name again to make it even more difficult to trace her. I suspect that unless someone from her past decides to start looking for her now (similar to how Tammy Jo Alexander was ID'd) or unless her DNA is put into DNA databases and a relative is found, we will not find out who she is.

 

[catlike]

I'm partial to the 5/5a theory, as well. I've known women like this myself, so it's certainly more familiar to me personally than the other possibilities. The various fabrications I saw ranged from just complete name changes to completely fabricated lives. And FWIW, these women had very problematic mental health issues.

 

[Dizzie]

I only caught up on this case recently but definately looking at a 5 - maybe she was jaded in life, family stuff, anything - seems to me she just wanted out.

Although i will say she had help - no way the person that wrote that CV did this cover up..She wasn't that meticulous in her personal life. Alot of this still bothers me it just dont fit the paper and person.

 

[Chuz Life]

Have there been any other theories about LEK that I overlooked in this summary? Serious ones, please: no need to argue she was a stranded passenger from some extraterrestrial space ship, or any other theory just as silly.

My theory is slightly different but does contain some of the same elements that yours do.

My feeling is that FLEK was initially a runaway teen (FWIW, I believe it was Denise Sheehy and yes, I know she's on the exclusions list). Anyway, I feel like she ran away as a teen and almost immediately got caught up in some form of human trafficking. From there, I believe she was exposed to extreme abuse to herself and to others who were forced into the same. My hunch is that at some point she either escaped or she cut a deal to "get out" of the trade and she sought to change her identity to put it all behind herself. It makes sense to me that having that in her past made it easier for her to try topless dancing for needed income. This may have lead to (or began with) getting breast implants, the nose job, etc. Eventually, she got out of that line of work too and eventually met and married Blake and began life as the person known as Lori Ruff.

 

[ClaireNC]

My theory is slightly different but does contain some of the same elements that yours do.

My feeling is that FLEK was initially a runaway teen (FWIW, I believe it was Denise Sheehy and yes, I know she's on the exclusions list). Anyway, I feel like she ran away as a teen and almost immediately got caught up in some form of human trafficking. From there, I believe she was exposed to extreme abuse to herself and to others who were forced into the same. My hunch is that at some point she either escaped or she cut a deal to "get out" of the trade and she sought to change her identity to put it all behind herself. It makes sense to me that having that in her past made it easier for her to try topless dancing for needed income. This may have lead to (or began with) getting breast implants, the nose job, etc. Eventually, she got out of that line of work too and eventually met and married Blake and began life as the person known as Lori Ruff.

I agree with a variation of this theory too, however, not necessarily a runaway. She might have been abducted by or sold to human traffickers as a small child. Or just had really horrible abusive parents that she felt the need to hide from.

I get a feeling she was running from something, however, with possible mental illness, that "something" could have been in her mind.

 

[LadyTudorRose]

I've just stumbled into this subforum and this case absolutely fascinates me.

My belief, from what we know about this case, is that Lori was a survivor of some sort of abuse. She changed her name to hide from her abuser, and I think it was likely a parent or sibling, and others in her family allowed it to happen or refused to believe her which led her to want to sever her ties with the whole family. It's also possible she was a runaway or an orphan and the abuser was an older boyfriend or husband. Maybe she did have a loving and supportive family member (perhaps a grandparent) who she lived with for a time after she fled her abuser, but that person died around 1987 or early 1988, perhaps leaving her a little bit of money. Once the only supportive family member died, there was no good reason to keep her old identity and be vulnerable to her abuser finding her.

I think she had tried to get help from the police at some point but wasn't believed and felt like she was powerless to protect herself. I wouldn't be surprised if she came from a conservative, fundamentalist background where the man is the head of the house and is considered to "possess" the women in the household. Could be FLDS, but there are a lot of people who have beliefs almost as dangerous that are not as well known. There would have been very few people she could turn to; physical abuse is acceptable in such cultures and sexual abuse is blamed on the victim. That also, if she was sexually abused, would cause her to feel ashamed and blame herself. She would never feel comfortable disclosing that abuse to most people, and would not feel comfortable explaining why she left. And in such communities, young people fleeing and never being heard from again is not uncommon. I suspect her disappearance was not totally abrupt either; she left willingly after dropping hints for some time that she would be leaving and she was probably heard from a few times after she left but before she assumed her new identity. No one would've found it strange, probably happens quite often.

I actually think her husband suspected something along those lines, which was the real reason he never pressed her about her background. He probably did believe most of her family was dead, but because of her complete refusal to discuss her childhood and discomfort with being asked, he inferred that something very traumatic had happened to her. Knowing that it was probably something taboo (like childhood sexual abuse and/or incest) he decided to simply not press her about her past at all rather than upset her.

As for the other stuff, like the lock box, most people would assume something like that is simply naughty photos or letters from an old boyfriend. If he knew she had the box when they got together (and presumably he didn't see her adding stuff to it at any point) he would know it wasn't an ongoing affair and thus maybe not something he needed to know about. Not everyone is as curious as the folks who hang out on Websleuths. Also, I mean, if he broke the lock she would know he'd been in there, and the resulting fight maybe wasn't worth satisfying his curiosity.

I guess I don't find his behavior as strange as most people on here do because I know a lot of people I consider to be "uncurious" in that they don't feel the need to look into things the way I do and they tend to either accept things at face value or come up with a very logical (and mundane) explanation for any mystery they encounter. I mean, for instance, there are a lot of people who aren't on Websleuths who if I asked about this story would find the Canadian immigrant theory the most plausible.

 

[Linda9681]

I really think there is an Asian connection and a photography connection. This comes from stuff that is " around the edges" of our search and from the girl that contacted me to tell me she knew Lori in the 1990s. ... She was Asian AND a photographer....
... As far as $$ with the mention of Lori's research recruiter email, if you search it the offers are financially quite nice for study cash. I bet she participated in studies as needed and probably never had to report any of that money on her taxes. That could have funded a whole secret life her husband may have never known about. I would not be surprised if there was more than one identity.


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[msrica972]

Hello to all: my theory is that LEK really is BST. Not sure why the identity was changed but always thought it was suspicious that BST was buried the very next day after the fire. Was there no investigation done to determine the cause of the fire or anything? And when you put the pics of LEK and BST father side by side, you can see a resemblance for sure. Anyway, perhaps there was some sort of abuse that BST endured and a parent thought of starting the fire to remove her from the situation.

 

[HawkFan2014]

The discovery of a JP living down the street from FLEK could easily explain that name being on the notes page. Identifying JP could be a critical puzzle piece in this mystery, but it may also have nothing to do with FLEK's identity. The notes page really resembles actual scratch paper with an accumulation of (possibly) unrelated things jotted down, rather than an intentional document created as a riddle to her identity. If this is the case, she could have simply written down her neighbor's name for some mundane reason.

I think LEK told JP her troubles. JP told her to contact her brother, husband, or uncle Ben Jr. When LEK figured out Perkins was her last names she then went back to edit the top of the page. Filled in the last name of Ben Jr. I also think the JP note is way prior to 1988. She was using "e" not "E". By 1988 always E. So, my question is where was JP prior to 1988? Did LEK follow her to Texas? Mother?

 

[Linda9681]

I really think there is an Asian connection and a photography connection. This comes from stuff that is " around the edges" of our search and from the girl that contacted me to tell me she knew Lori in the 1990s. ... She was Asian AND a photographer....
... As far as $$ with the mention of Lori's research recruiter email, if you search it the offers are financially quite nice for study cash. I bet she participated in studies as needed and probably never had to report any of that money on her taxes. That could have funded a whole secret life her husband may have never known about. I would not be surprised if there was more than one identity.


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And when I say Asian I mean Korean. My Korean friend looked at the notes page and said Kathleen Jung is not a whole name. He said Jung is not a Korean last name but a first or middle name....


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[Linda9681]

I think LEK told JP her troubles. JP told her to contact her brother, husband, or uncle Ben Jr. When LEK figured out Perkins was her last names she then went back to edit the top of the page. Filled in the last name of Ben Jr. I also think the JP note is way prior to 1988. She was using "e" not "E". By 1988 always E. So, my question is where was JP prior to 1988? Did LEK follow her to Texas? Mother?

I looked at Ben Jrs family. There is no Jennifer in his immediate or close family. His daughter who died.. Her name was Denise. It may be the other way around however, that she told BEN her troubles and HE helped her get a new identity. His family lives in JACKSON ms and Vicksburg MS, and father was living in OHIO, which goes back to my theory of LORI being from that area.


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[tarheelslim]

And when I say Asian I mean Korean. My Korean friend looked at the notes page and said Kathleen Jung is not a whole name. He said Jung is not a Korean last name but a first or middle name....

Well it has been a last name in many countries/cultures so perhaps there is no Korean connection.

 

[colette]

My theory is that she did something illegal and ran away before she was caught.

 

[Linda9681]

Well it has been a last name in many countries/cultures so perhaps there is no Korean connection.

Except the person who contacted me who knew her is Korean.


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[HerStory]

I was looking through the Doe Network website and came across this.....
http://doenetwork.org/cases/975ummn.html

 

[llywrch]

My belief, from what we know about this case, is that Lori was a survivor of some sort of abuse. She changed her name to hide from her abuser, and I think it was likely a parent or sibling, and others in her family allowed it to happen or refused to believe her which led her to want to sever her ties with the whole family. It's also possible she was a runaway or an orphan and the abuser was an older boyfriend or husband. Maybe she did have a loving and supportive family member (perhaps a grandparent) who she lived with for a time after she fled her abuser, but that person died around 1987 or early 1988, perhaps leaving her a little bit of money. Once the only supportive family member died, there was no good reason to keep her old identity and be vulnerable to her abuser finding her.

I think she had tried to get help from the police at some point but wasn't believed and felt like she was powerless to protect herself. I wouldn't be surprised if she came from a conservative, fundamentalist background where the man is the head of the house and is considered to "possess" the women in the household. Could be FLDS, but there are a lot of people who have beliefs almost as dangerous that are not as well known. There would have been very few people she could turn to; physical abuse is acceptable in such cultures and sexual abuse is blamed on the victim. That also, if she was sexually abused, would cause her to feel ashamed and blame herself. She would never feel comfortable disclosing that abuse to most people, and would not feel comfortable explaining why she left. And in such communities, young people fleeing and never being heard from again is not uncommon. I suspect her disappearance was not totally abrupt either; she left willingly after dropping hints for some time that she would be leaving and she was probably heard from a few times after she left but before she assumed her new identity. No one would've found it strange, probably happens quite often.

One thing posters here tend to do is suppose something dramatically bad & evil happened to her. LEK may never have been born into a cult or commune, never beaten, never kidnapped & forced into being a prostitute, or anything so dramatic. She might never have even been a stripper. The abuse she encountered may have been far more subtle.

I have in mind two examples from my own life. The first is the emotional abuse that a step-parent can inflict on a child, not intentionally or actively, but simply because that step-parent is indifferent to the well-being of the child. I've heard more than one step-mother referred to as a "step-monster". And if said step-parent has children of their own, many step-parents will favor their own blood over the step-child either intentionally or unintentionally -- something I can attest to. Said step-parent will even drive a wedge between the child & their surviving parent, further isolating & alienating the child. And if said child has found it difficult to make friends or otherwise engage others socially, it can result with the child growing into an adult who never forms strong attachments to other people.

(And yes, I am likely projecting my own misfortunes onto LEK's life. One of the pitfalls of theorizing about her is that because so little is known about her -- even after 1988 -- you can project your own self upon her, thus unintentionally telling the reader more about you than about LEK. It's one reason we need to know more about her.)

The example involves my Mom & her mother. For reasons no one is clear about, my maternal step-mother practically disowned her daughter & only child shortly after I was born; I'm the oldest child. (Yes, it was odd to grow up with a step-mother I never met, & whom was described to me as being "mentally ill.") I never dared to directly ask my grandmother why had done this after my Mom died, & now suspect she would have never told me the truth. The best guess anyone who knew the two why she disowned her is that the two women were close, & when I was born my Mom could no longer just drop everything to do stuff with her mother (for reasons obvious to anyone who has had children), & her mother interpreted this as some form of insult & reacted with anger. After my Mom died I got to know her mother's story better, & there is some reason to suspect my maternal grandmother had a fear of abandonment.

So she may have endured emotional abuse from a parent or step-parent, & left because of it. She changed her name to further remove herself from that toxic environment. If spring/summer1988's posts can be trusted, she did have someone in her family who gave her support & nurture, but who died within a few years of moving to Dallas. (Which is why I hope he was telling the truth.) After which she let all remaining ties to her past lapse.

I actually think her husband suspected something along those lines, which was the real reason he never pressed her about her background. He probably did believe most of her family was dead, but because of her complete refusal to discuss her childhood and discomfort with being asked, he inferred that something very traumatic had happened to her. Knowing that it was probably something taboo (like childhood sexual abuse and/or incest) he decided to simply not press her about her past at all rather than upset her.

As for the other stuff, like the lock box, most people would assume something like that is simply naughty photos or letters from an old boyfriend. If he knew she had the box when they got together (and presumably he didn't see her adding stuff to it at any point) he would know it wasn't an ongoing affair and thus maybe not something he needed to know about. Not everyone is as curious as the folks who hang out on Websleuths. Also, I mean, if he broke the lock she would know he'd been in there, and the resulting fight maybe wasn't worth satisfying his curiosity.

I guess I don't find his behavior as strange as most people on here do because I know a lot of people I consider to be "uncurious" in that they don't feel the need to look into things the way I do and they tend to either accept things at face value or come up with a very logical (and mundane) explanation for any mystery they encounter. I mean, for instance, there are a lot of people who aren't on Websleuths who if I asked about this story would find the Canadian immigrant theory the most plausible.

One of the many problems of this case is getting a proper sense of Blake. The ST story suggests that, at the least, he would score quite high on the Asperger's scale, & also may be detached from reality. Yet he is obviously intelligent: he earned degrees in engineering, & holds a mid-level position at Verizon. You don't hold, let alone get, one of those positions if you have no social skills. He probably understood -- & empathized with -- LEK far better than the ST story would suggest. But the reporter might not have suspected this because the Ruff family is likely accustomed to protecting him because he is "different" & so "helped" Blake with the interview.

But you bring up a good point about Blake's lack of curiosity. It may well be that he didn't pry because he wanted to respect her privacy, something that might have especially endeared LEK to him. It's not that hard to suppose. For example, I've never looked into my wife's purse -- although I could -- & have only a hazy idea what she keeps in it because I respect her privacy. Maybe he was hoping that by respecting her privacy that some day she would open up to him & explain what was the mystery in her life. Only things didn't work out for them.

 

[dvo]

I was looking through the Doe Network website and came across this.....
http://doenetwork.org/cases/975ummn.html

here is the first time this came up:

Now with Sharon Marshall in mind, I'll share another similar case that has something in common with this case. David Charles Erickson has his own WS thread. Both LR and David Charles Erickson were assumed identity's, and both were in AZ before 1989. :waitasec:

from this page: http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sh...)-41-50-Suicide-Assumed-Identity-Dec-10/page8

and on the thread about this case it references back to LEK:

This is probably just a coincidence, but it is interesting that there are two cases of people using assumed identities with links to Arizona. The other one being the lady who killed herself in Texas on 12/24/2010.
TX - Longview (Gregg Cnty.) - WhtFem (Namus#9863), 41-50 - Assumed Identity - Dec'10
http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?t=165570

Both of their links to Arizona seem to originate in the mid-1980s.

I'm dizzy now! But it hasn't been dug into much from what I see? A quick search isn't really revealing much about fake David Charles Erickson or ties he could have to LEK (beyond the coincidence of the timeframe and Arizona connection)

 

[LadyTudorRose]

One of the many problems of this case is getting a proper sense of Blake. The ST story suggests that, at the least, he would score quite high on the Asperger's scale, & also may be detached from reality. Yet he is obviously intelligent: he earned degrees in engineering, & holds a mid-level position at Verizon. You don't hold, let alone get, one of those positions if you have no social skills. He probably understood -- & empathized with -- LEK far better than the ST story would suggest. But the reporter might not have suspected this because the Ruff family is likely accustomed to protecting him because he is "different" & so "helped" Blake with the interview.

But you bring up a good point about Blake's lack of curiosity. It may well be that he didn't pry because he wanted to respect her privacy, something that might have especially endeared LEK to him. It's not that hard to suppose. For example, I've never looked into my wife's purse -- although I could -- & have only a hazy idea what she keeps in it because I respect her privacy. Maybe he was hoping that by respecting her privacy that some day she would open up to him & explain what was the mystery in her life. Only things didn't work out for them.

I see that, and I definitely think the ST article points in that direction, but I guess I see Blake's behavior as making sense on some level, Asperger's or no. I have a friend with Asperger's and if she had a boyfriend or husband with a lock box who never talked about his past, she would break that thing open as quickly as any of us. Asperger's could explain Blake not understanding that LEK's behavior was not normal, but I think he definitely knew there was a secret, at the very least because his family members would have pointed it out to him. I just think he didn't push the subject for reasons I find understandable, mainly respecting her privacy because he thought her reluctance to talk came from a place of trauma. I also think there is a certain personality type (and maybe a lot of people with Asperger's fall into this category) where you are overly rational and logical about everything and can come up with a boring, mundane explanation for any mystery you may encounter. These sorts of people often identify as skeptics; it doesn't come from a place of naiveté. I mean, plenty of people keep secrets and are estranged from their family and in 99.9% of those cases they never stole their identity from a dead child. Plenty of people do have things in their house they don't want their spouses going through, and 99.9% of those people are hiding something mundane that their spouse probably could have guessed at.

We're dealing with a weird, 0.01% scenario. I don't find it strange that Blake probably came to a much more mundane conclusion before the marriage fell apart and LEK ultimately committed suicide. In his mind, he probably had a perfectly logical explanation for everything LEK was hiding. Of course I couldn't imagine acting the same way because I would want to know the truth whatever it was, but I feel like I know people who would. If Blake does have Asperger's, I think that might explain his relationship from LEK from another perspective; people who are different tend to be drawn to each other. While we don't know exactly what was going on in LEK's mind, whether she was mentally ill or simply traumatized or what, I think it seems obvious she fell into that category of being different.

I think it also may explain the conflict with his family quite a bit. They were very protective of him and used to looking out for him as growing up he was perhaps bullied and had a harder time making friends. So when they saw him with someone who was an outsider to them, someone who acted strange and who was clearly keeping secrets, they worried LEK was out to hurt or take advantage of their son. The way you relieve your suspicions of someone is by getting to know them, and I'm sure they really did try and give her plenty of opportunities, but she couldn't handle their questions and the more they asked the more withdrawn she became. I can easily see how the situation deteriorated over time, and I think it probably wasn't anyone's fault and they all probably had good intentions.

I think LEK was just not mentally in a place where she could handle being questioned and simply thinking about her past only made her more upset. If she were a criminal and a pathological liar like a lot of the people who get discussed on this site I actually think she would have handled the situation much better. A good liar can fool people in ways LEK could not.

 

[dvo]

here is the first time this came up:

from this page: http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sh...)-41-50-Suicide-Assumed-Identity-Dec-10/page8

and on the thread about this case it references back to LEK:



I'm dizzy now! But it hasn't been dug into much from what I see? A quick search isn't really revealing much about fake David Charles Erickson or ties he could have to LEK (beyond the coincidence of the timeframe and Arizona connection)

Adding to the above - after reading the posts in this thread I find the most compelling possible connection to LEK to be the suggestion that the deceased Minnesota John Doe could be this wanted criminal, Paul Joseph Harmon, who was known to use the aliases Paul Joseph Kennedy and Paul Kennedy. He was also connected to Washington, California and Nevada like LEK, evidently during the same time period, and one of his known occupations is "marketing consultant".

Harmon was charged with murder with a deadly weapon, and a state arrest warrant was issued on October 19, 1990, by the Justice Court of Tahoe Township, County of Douglas, State of Nevada. On October 30, 1990, a federal arrest warrant was issued by the United States District Court, District of Nevada, after Harmon was charged with unlawful flight to avoid prosecution.

from https://www2.fbi.gov/wanted/fugitives/vc/murders/harmon_pj.htm