I have three adult bio children. All of which are very picky eaters. One may like fast food, another may prefer a sandwich.... no matter what they preferred, I always made sure that I cooked something that each of them liked. Myself, I only eat when I'm hungry... which is seldom.... and small portions. My youngest, she is tall and very thin, eats much more then her brothers. Can't gain weight. Just recently, we found out that she's a diabetic. (Breaks my heart) and probably has been since childhood. Even though she was 9 lbs 9 oz at birth, continued to gain weight, until she began toddling.... she had been "sick" all of her life. Literally.
I'm babbling.
Besides my three bio children, I've assisted in raising many more. Fostered many children. Most of them hoarded food. (This has nothing to do with this case, just my experience.) One time, my house smelled terrible! I searched and searched and searched for the "culprit", I began to think it was a dead rodent in the walls. After about 3 weeks, I found the "culprit". It was in the form of a HUGE bowl of ice cream, with soda in it, hidden behind my quilt rack. That memory actually makes me laugh, as that is the only place I hadn't looked. my youngest "foster" had done it. His punishment? Throw it in the trash! If you ever want food, no matter the time, tell someone! You don't have to hide it!
That said, he was well overweight, scared to death of water, cussed like a sailor, wanted to fight..... everyday.
He was with us for 3 years. He came to our home when he was 5, from an institution. Daily, one of us had to go to the school, because he was so destructive. I wore bruises, bled, cried, begged, prayed.... everything that you could think of..... because I KNEW his past.....I KNEW he deserved a better life!!!!! Eventually, he got over the fear, the behaviors became seldom, the hoarding stopped. Then we decided to bring his younger brother (11 months younger) into our home. That lasted all of 4 months. Younger brother decided he was running away. On Halloween, around 4 p.m.
Both boys were taken from our family. I'm not sure why I chose to share this story, except that it really took a huge toll on our lives.
Sorry for such a lengthy, off topic post
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Thank you for sharing your experiences. It sounds as if you are a good, and caring, mom and foster mom. I don't think the average person knows what it is like to be a foster parent, or a foster child.
I can only speculate what it is like, based on some of my in-law's experiences, and seeing some of the kids who've come through their home. They are foster parents, (and have adopted four of their foster children over the years, and have adult bio children) and the differences in the children, from the time they arrive, until they go back home, or to a relative's home, is amazing.
There's also couple who live nearby, who have adopted over 10 of their foster children, and have at least two bio children. All of the kids have either entered college, or the military, and you can tell they are so proud of all of them.
On the flip side, one of my kid's close friends, was placed into foster care in their early teens. She came forward and talked to someone about what her father had been doing. The abuse had gone on from such an early age that she didn't know it wasn't "normal" til she was around 12, and then didn't know what to do to make it stop. Her father was well known, and liked, in her community. Her childhood, and early teens, sounded hellish. Her mother bailed on the kids early in their childhood, then, her father goes to prison for being a <modsnip - term not allowd here>, and she and her siblings get split up, and sent to foster home, after foster home, after foster home. I wonder if she will ever have a somewhat normal life.
Whether either of them were abusing her, or not, the poor little child had a plethora of reasons to develop food issues.
She'd been abandoned, connected with the caregiver, then taken from her caregiver, adopted by new caregivers, new people around her, a new country, new home, new languages, new food and drinks, and even a new name. That's a lot for a little fella to take in.