Thank you for being so open about your experiences. I think it is often difficult, from the outside, to understand all the factors that go into people, our perceptions and our choices. I recently read one of Jaycee Dugard's books. There was a point in her life in captivity that she had opportunities to walk away. But she could not. She had no ability to conceptualize that anyone was available to help her, or that her family still existed and wanted her back.
I am not suggesting anything specific with regard to Sini Mathews, simply acknowledging that the logic of the world does not exist within certain extreme situations. It's like trying to understand the choices of addicts. They make perfect sense within the context of addiction,but are completely baffling anywhere else.
The case that keeps coming to mind is one I don't know a lot about (mostly the way it was portrayed when Law&Order ripped it from the headlines). But, it was in New York, involved adoption and a doctor and his wife. The child was abused to death and apparently the mother was severely abused as well. Drugs use/addiction may have played a role. The piece that keeps coming up was that the child was beaten and then left to lie, perhaps in a pool of vomit? The father is reported to have said he would check on her later. Strikes me as not so much evil/cruel as detached from reality. Makes me wonder about exactly the status of both Sherin and the adults when they left home, returned home and ultimately took action.
The only three stories that I am aware of that I relate to quite well are Jaycee Dugard, Shawn Hornbeck and Colleen Stan. I was allowed to see my family etc, but the fear was always over head, i only ever saw my mom "unsupervised". I was isolated from all of my own friends and his friends were brought in as replacements. When I was "bad" I was often "babysat" by one of his friends while he was at work. I was handcuffed or bound nearly every night, not allowed to use furniture and so on. His dad was a minister and would tell me (using scripture) that "woman obeys man and man obeys God" and that if i would behave I wouldn't need to be punished. This started when I was 15 and lasted 5 years. My parents suspected I was being abused, but they rarely ever saw marks on me. They didn't find it odd that I always sat on the floor because I had two very young children who were down on the floor playing etc. It was just before my 20th birthday when we escaped and the ONLY reason I left was because if I hadn't he would have killed us that night.
I do tend to take the "victims" side a lot more than I should, or in the very least, give them the benefit of doubt. I know with Sini,
I am very much playing devils advocate and I honestly do not know what to believe because we do not know anything. BUT, I am more than willing to follow the facts, and right now the only facts we have been given are that she left "willingly" when told to by WM to go for dinner.
However, the fact that WM's statement says she went without hesitation (can't recall the wording), gives me pause, because as a victim, putting up a fight could have made it really REALLY bad for Sherin, other child and herself if WM was controlling. I found it odd that he put this in there that she came willingly. Just because you come without putting up a fight, doesn't mean you didn't want to, it simply means the perceived repercussions could be worse if you did not obey that command. Clearly, it did turn out really REALLY bad for Sherin regardless of Sini's "obedience" in going for dinner. BUT, we do not know at this point if Sini was awake or not, or what time anything happened, that has all been speculation. We don't even know if dinner was at 4pm right after school or if it was at 10pm.
So, the only "facts" we have right now are they went to dinner without Sherin sometime on the evening of the 6th, at some point while Sini was allegedly sleeping, in the early morning hours of the 7th, WM took Sherin to the garage and assisted her in drinking milk until he could no longer detect a pulse and believed she was dead and then he removed her from the home. We also know the car was missing between 4am and 5am. No other facts at this time other than her body being found in a culvert less than a mile from the home.
The reasons I personally relate to these cases the most are because all three people had opportunity to "escape" and didn't because they feared being punished, unwanted and/or for the lives of their families. Dugard was in the police station and didn't ask for help, she also had gone on shopping trips with the wife and never alerted to anyone. Hornbeck lived in an apartment complex with his captor. He had internet access and even went on sleep overs. He went to a website his parents had up and asked if they would ever quit looking for their son and got no reply, he didn't say "dad help me i am at this address", he also went on sleep overs with new friends and at one point his missing poster was on the news, the mom asked "is that you?" and he laughed it off and said no, so they believed him. He was safe and could have been free, but the fear of his captor prevented him from reaching out. Colleen Stan is also known as the woman in the box, eventually she was allowed to be outside and do chores etc. She was told that her captor was part of a group of people who would kill her family if she tried to leave. At one point, he even dropped her off at her family home and she never said anything, she went with him "willingly" when picked up.
These cases are important to remember the fact that these people all had opportunity to leave and all had a fear beyond what most people have experienced, to actually feel safe in an escape.
IF Sini was a victim, remembering how deep fear can go is really important. If she is not a victim and maybe WM is, the same applies, if they are both just heinous people then clearly none of this applies, but its still worth keeping an open mind, until we know for sure, and for the unfortunate future cases that we will see.
