Found Deceased TX - Sherin Mathews, 3, Richardson, 7 Oct 2017 #7 *Arrests*

[flute4peace]

In reference to the posts about culture and adoption. While either in no way justifies or excuses the guilt of anyones actions (if it even applies in this case) it may be an important part of this case. I can find thousands of sites with info that point out the normal expected issues that even the smoothest international adoption finds very challenging. But I wanted to find something specific to adoption from India and found this. It is an interview with the adoptive mother of a child from India who overcome the obstacles because she was mentally stable, committed, and prepared. Read the story and then think about the possibility of someone adopting who saw things through rose colored glasses, didn't grasp the possibilities of reality (happens a lot), wasn't stable, or prepared for the what if's. Add the stress of a pending lawsuit and who knows what other personal problems. Then add pride when things aren't going as expected and you are to proud to admit it to those who praise you for giving this child a family. Add the serious condemnation of the adoption community if you admit you failed (it gets spread far and wide). Just a theory. Heres the link: http://workkidswine.com/international-adoption/

I firmly believe that explanation & excuse are VERY different things. rhis is a good example.

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[georgiajean]

In reference to the posts about culture and adoption. While either in no way justifies or excuses the guilt of anyones actions (if it even applies in this case) it may be an important part of this case. I can find thousands of sites with info that point out the normal expected issues that even the smoothest international adoption finds very challenging. But I wanted to find something specific to adoption from India and found this. It is an interview with the adoptive mother of a child from India who overcome the obstacles because she was mentally stable, committed, and prepared. Read the story and then think about the possibility of someone adopting who saw things through rose colored glasses, didn't grasp the possibilities of reality (happens a lot), wasn't stable, or prepared for the what if's. Add the stress of a pending lawsuit and who knows what other personal problems. Then add pride when things aren't going as expected and you are to proud to admit it to those who praise you for giving this child a family. Add the serious condemnation of the adoption community if you admit you failed (it gets spread far and wide). Just a theory. Heres the link: http://workkidswine.com/international-adoption/

Thank you for posting this! What a find. It does shed a lot of light on what Sherin's life may have been like as she adjusted to life with the Mathews. This interview confirms that WM and SM could have started adoption proceedings when their biological daughter was born to, as was said in MSM by people who knew them, express their gratitude to god. It took the family in the article above 1 year and 10 months, from start to finish. And they spent 8 months from after they matched with their daughter to when they brought her home. I can't imagine that, knowing your child is in an orphanage and not be able to take care of her or parent her....

 

[edimmu]

In reference to the posts about culture and adoption. While either in no way justifies or excuses the guilt of anyones actions (if it even applies in this case) it may be an important part of this case. I can find thousands of sites with info that point out the normal expected issues that even the smoothest international adoption finds very challenging. But I wanted to find something specific to adoption from India and found this. It is an interview with the adoptive mother of a child from India who overcome the obstacles because she was mentally stable, committed, and prepared. Read the story and then think about the possibility of someone adopting who saw things through rose colored glasses, didn't grasp the possibilities of reality (happens a lot), wasn't stable, or prepared for the what if's. Add the stress of a pending lawsuit and who knows what other personal problems. Then add pride when things aren't going as expected and you are to proud to admit it to those who praise you for giving this child a family. Add the serious condemnation of the adoption community if you admit you failed (it gets spread far and wide). Just a theory. Heres the link: http://workkidswine.com/international-adoption/

Thank you for that article. It was a great read. From all the issues their bio child had, it sounds like Sherin would have had similar issues. We haven't heard anything about Sherin getting therapy or the Mathews. It sounds like they expected the sweet girl to be something they could showoff.

 

[Yellow Rose]

Adaptation challenges have got to be enormous, but in my own opinion this family has had enormous support of the church community and with Sini's nursing work I'm sure sources could have been tapped for direction on that side. I find that no excuse is a good excuse for failure of these parents to raise this beautiful girl.

 

[kirkassoc]

Thank you for that article. It was a great read. From all the issues their bio child had, it sounds like Sherin would have had similar issues. We haven't heard anything about Sherin getting therapy or the Mathews. It sounds like they expected the sweet girl to be something they could showoff.

I've been trying to follow this sad case closely, but I think I missed the part about their bio daughter's health issues? Can anyone tell me where to read about the biological daughter's issues? TIA

 

[Grouchymom]

I've been trying to follow this sad case closely, but I think I missed the part about their bio daughter's health issues? Can anyone tell me where to read about the biological daughter's issues? TIA

I am not the original op but I believe it was a reference to the adoptive child in the article about Indian adoption posted by dsdebow not the Mathews older daughter. I believe the bio was a boo boo. JMHO
http://workkidswine.com/international-adoption/

 

[MissMalowe]

34 days since this innocent, addorable little girl's body was found..... Come on Tox reports! I'm impatiently waiting....

 

[Beaudoin]

yeah this is good that there is someone to look after her

 

[rosesfromangels]

34 days since this innocent, addorable little girl's body was found..... Come on Tox reports! I'm impatiently waiting....

Amen to that! And, it's not just the tox/autopsy report. They will have to carefully go through scads of video to construct the case against the two "parents". That is taking time, then consultation with the D.A. on the range of options on charges, witnesses, evidence, etc.
I'm sure they are being *very* thorough to insure justice for this poor baby. I for one, will not be surprised -at all- if we see Sini in the car with the husband dumping the child's remains.
And, I really, really want to know what the prior CPS visit was all about.

I remain patient, (sort of), while the incredible Texas LE and DA do their thing. They will nail it, I have no doubt whatsoever.

 

[angorwat]

Adaptation challenges have got to be enormous, but in my own opinion this family has had enormous support of the church community and with Sini's nursing work I'm sure sources could have been tapped for direction on that side. I find that no excuse is a good excuse for failure of these parents to raise this beautiful girl.

On the other hand, the social pressure from the church community might have pressured them into this adoption even if the couple considered backing out at some point.

Another point to note is that because of the OCI status of the Mathews, they could have potentially been on a fast-tracked adoption process for Sherin.

 

[rosesfromangels]

Just had another thought...
Maybe LE is giving the community a bit of time to simmer down before the COD if announced. Given the strong reaction to Sherin's death, I foresee an even stronger reaction to her COD.
No doubt LE will have to have a plan in place prior to that announcement.
As many of you have speculated, the reality of the "milk" story will end up being much, much worse. The community will be outraged, and LE has to be prepared for that.

All amateur speculation and opinion.

 

[BlinkOfAnI]

Thank you for that article. It was a great read. From all the issues their bio child had, it sounds like Sherin would have had similar issues. We haven't heard anything about Sherin getting therapy or the Mathews. It sounds like they expected the sweet girl to be something they could showoff.

TY! I think insight is important to understanding tragedy (if this applies here). I'm the type person that can't help but ask "why" or "how" something so tragic could happen. Not sure what you meant by "bio" though. Apologies if I confused.

 

[BlinkOfAnI]

Just had another thought...
Maybe LE is giving the community a bit of time to simmer down before the COD if announced. Given the strong reaction to Sherin's death, I foresee an even stronger reaction to her COD.
No doubt LE will have to have a plan in place prior to that announcement.
As many of you have speculated, the reality of the "milk" story will end up being much, much worse. The community will be outraged, and LE has to be prepared for that.

All amateur speculation and opinion.

I was thinking similarly. I would think LE would be strategic in when and how they make an announcement.

 

[Grouchymom]

Occasionally it takes some time for things to rattle around in my head before they can gel into a coherent thought. Reading the the wonderful post by dsdebow and it’s accompanying link was no exception. Immediately on it’s face I loved the article as it was a heartfelt yet accurate presentation of issues that do occur in adoptions even in the youngest of adoptees. We like to think that the younger a child is the easier it will be to adjust to a new environment but that is not always true.

I felt the article gave a wonderful representation of some bonding issues and I was originally satisfied to stop there. However as time passed I could not get it out of my head. Partly I am sure because it was such an unexpected reminder of our early time with our Katie as well as another preemie infant we fostered for nearly a year that we were hoping to adopt also.

Finally, I think the other reason that I could not get that article out of my head was I was searching for the signs or symptoms of attachment issues in the Mathews household. Other than the refusal to drink that blasted “milk” we have not heard one peep from them or anyone who knew them that alluded to attachment issues but I would have been nearly impossible for there not to have been. So, I started going through my hoarder’s stash and looking at pictures.

Then I googled Sherin and looked through all of the images that were there. After “gotcha day” at the orphanage I found 1, ONE picture of Sherin being held, hugged, holding hands with, or otherwise making affectionate physical contact with an adult. I do not include “giving five on the run affectionate“. The one image I found was not with Sini or WM and she looks tortured in that image. (See picture below) There is absolutely NO question in my mind that they were having attachment issues in that home.

Perhaps because they were older well situated professional people when they began parenting made it more difficult for them to reach out for support and assistance with Sherin’s bomding/attachment issues. Coupled with Sini’s nursing profession and experience and pride they tried to go it alone. I also think because they began parenting at a little older than average it also made change harder for them.

The UK has studies attachment disorders particularly RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) more than we have in the US. Since my first dealings with RAD back in the early 90’s much has been learned and discussed or reclassified but still enough is not known. I personally am amazed at how much has changed in the symptoms and new classifications yet little has been done to follow the long term effects.

Originally, studies in the U.K. show RAD in children who otherwise would not fit the precipitating factors but were placed in day care before the age of two and that info seems to have been pushed to the wayside. One thing we do know is that trust is necessary to our survival and it is developed or not in early childhood. Babies come in to this world with little but a warning siren, a cry if you will. Immediately after birth when a baby cries someone responds, meets the babies needs and the baby stops crying. That is the beginning of trust. If every time a baby cries the caretaker responds quickly and fulfills the current need be it a clean diaper, a bottle or being held, trust builds. This is how bonding and attachment begin. In the situations where the caretaker fails to respond in a timely fashion, sporadically or not at all, distrust is formed. After a period of time the babies stop crying because it does not yield the desired results and the baby develops no attachment or bond with the caretaker that fails them.

In orphanages there are more babies than workers so it would be impossible to respond promptly to every cry, also limiting the one on one cuddle time which delays the start of the process required for learning to love. The longer the period of irregularity or failure the more difficult for the child to bond or attach with anyone. Possibly leading to a lifelong issue. If the failure continues beyond the cessation of crying, failure to thrive is almost certain. There is a point where the child may restart crying but it becomes a cry of rage not need.

I have no way of knowing if Sherin suffered with RAD but the odds are high. In the early stages of research in the U.K. it was believed that children not treated effectively by the age of 12 had little to no chance of moving past RAD and being able to create normal bonds and attachments in adulthood.(often leading to being unable to bond with their future children) Thankfully I don’t see that line in the sand in current literature but early diagnosis and treatment (therapy) is undoubtedly more effective than delay. In the beginning “hug” therapy was the prime method of choice but I see although it is still widely used other methods are currently in use. We utilized a scaled down version of “hug therapy” at home by requiring everyone recieved a bedtime hug and kiss no exceptions. This gave a child notice of exact when that nasty hug was coming so they could prepare for it but also gave the an immediate escape path to collect themselves afterward. Much like going to get their braces adjusted or immunizations it was initially unpleasant but they were able to deal with it in small doses. I will never forget the feelings the first time my RAD girl relaxed and actually hugged me back. My cold grouchy heart nearly burst as I began to sob uncontrollably. It was a good thing she made a hasty retreat or my sobbing may have set her back a bit.

One of the newer methods recommends “time in”. Instead of giving a child time outs for missteps which rewards a child with RAD with the alone time they are comfortable with, perpetuating the issue and delaying attachment/bonding giving them “time in” requiring them to stay with and interact with the caretaker. (I recall a pleading to please just send her to her room because she couldn’t stand another talk. LOL) Thus alleviating the fear of abandonment. From personal experience I think a combination of both is more successful in the long term. Teaching a child who has no experience with attachment or bonding takes long term dedication, patience and constant reassessment. A child with RAD can make a new parent(s) (new to them) who has not been properly prepared for the realities of attachment disorders or issues feeling like a failure, embarrassed and hurt that this child would go anywhere with a perfect stranger but continuously pushes the parent(s) away. The child may choose one parent they need to have present at all times and panics when they are not but ignores them when they are. These children stiffen when confronted with hugs or displays of affection. An action that can devastate a poorly prepared parent(s) as I can seem so personal. All the while completely ignoring the second parent.

We have heard the chatter that Sherin was cared for predominately by WM and that would fit in with RAD. He would most likely have been chosen by Sherin due to the early language barrier and perhaps because he was not female and every female in her life thus far had disappeared. One of the risks involved when parents are not properly prepared for attachment/bonding issues comes when 1 or both parents become “offended” by the child’s “treatment” of them only, shutting down and withdrawing from the child emotionally exacerbating the problems.

I believe this is what occurred with Sini. I believe Sherin was the sweet, independent, precocious, tiny angel in public and the temperamental, autonomous, rebellious, non-compliant child at home, even playing the social role if and when visitors came to the home. Typical of a child with RAD or many other attachment issues. That is not an excuse but perhaps an explanation of the circumstances that led to the frustrations, emotional detachment, and behavior that led to the actions that ended her life. There has been no mention of therapy for Sherin or the family. Perhaps they tried it perhaps or they didn’t, unless it comes out in trial we will probably never know. The worst part of this theory is the end was totally avoidable. Had they been better prepared, more willing to ask for or seek help or less concerned about image and control they could have overcome these issues. I can sympathize with them regarding the stress and feelings that would have occurred during this time however it is not a justification of their behavior, they were supposed to be the adults, the responsible, caring loving parents who should have gone to the ends of the earth to get for her instead of waging battle with her. They were supposed to be her protectors to give her a better life full of love and giggles. Not fights and isolation. A life not death.

[FONT=&quot]In a study by Zeanah, (Zeanah [/FONT]et al.[FONT=&quot], 2004) on reactive attachment disorder in maltreated toddlers, the criteria for DSM-IV [/FONT]disinhibited[FONT=&quot] RAD (i.e. disinhibited attachment disorder) were:[/FONT]

1. not having a discriminated, preferred attachment figure,(she could still have that one parent she needed to have present especially in public more of a security blanket than an attachment)
2. not checking back after venturing away from the caregiver,
3. lack of reticence with unfamiliar adults,
4. a willingness to go off with relative strangers.

[FONT=&quot]
For comparison, the criteria for DSM-IV inhibited RAD were:[/FONT]

1. absence of a discriminated, preferred adult,(she could still have that one parent she needed to have present especially in public more of a security blanket than an attachment)
2. lack of comfort seeking for distress,
3. failure to respond to comfort when offered,
4. lack of social and emotional reciprocity, and
5. emotion regulation difficulties.

[FONT=&quot]The authors found that these two disorders were not completely independent; a few children may exhibit symptoms of both types of the disorder.[/FONT]

-

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reactive_attachment_disorder


SYMPTOMS OF REACTIVE ATTACHMENT DISORDER Symptoms of Reactive Attachment Disorder in toddlers and preschoolers include toddler behaviors that are more intense and persistent than in normal toddlers:

• frequent, out-of-control tantrums. Unusually defiant and disobedient. Flies into a rage for the least little thing. Deliberately soils in inappropriate places. Destructive of property. Normal methods of discipline are ineffective.
• the velcro kid, unwilling to be separated from Mom(Dad)for any time at all. Cries incessantly when parted, insists on keeping Mom(Dad) in sight at all times. Scared to go to sleep alone at night, and wakes in the night to check on whether Mom(Dad) is there.
• needs to control Mom(Dad) at all times.This can be achieved in many ways:
  • abnormally active toddler, constantly on the go. This risk-taking hyperactivity is intended to keep her constantly vigilant and at his side. A nightmare to take shopping, to a restaurant etc
  • disruptive when Mom(Dad) is on the phone or talking to other adults, very jealous of attention to other siblings. Will whine, cling, hit, chatter, to monopolize Mom's(Dad’s) attention - again, insecure or anxious attachment.
  • refuses to cooperate or excessively demanding with eating, going to the toilet, dressing etc. Refuses to eat meals or most foods. Demands food or drink frequently, wants Mom(Dad) to accompany bathroom visits, wipe and wash hands, etc.
  • inability to play alone, insists that mother or other family member plays or interacts with him or her at all times
  • demands affection on his or her terms - asks repeatedly for hugs, tells Mom(Dad), I love you endlessly.
  • persistent nonsense chatter

All of these behaviors eventually result in the parents' limiting or curtailing any outings or social contact involving the child. Other behaviors that parents of normally-attached children would find worrisome are:

• dislikes being cuddled and kissed, refuses to give eye contact, wriggles and gets down from Mom's(Dad’s) lap when held
• inappropriately affectionate and trusting behavior towards visitors and strangers.
• excessive, intense hostility, jealousy and violence towards siblings and pets, especially when competing for Mom's(Dad’s) attention.
• lack of affect - remote and detached, with flat emotions.

WHY DO THESE CHILDREN BEHAVE LIKE THIS?
They feel shame, that they were unwanted by their birthmothers, and believe they must have been bad or defective to be rejected and abandoned. The lack of loving attention in the orphanage only reinforces that shame. They remain convinced that they will eventually be thrown out again, for being bad. These children usually feel anger towards their birthmother and birth family, for abandoning them. Their anger towards their adoptive mothers is actually directed at their birthmothers: they have not differentiated them. They may also feel anger towards the orphanage caregivers for the neglect and abuse they endured, and towards the adoptive parents for not rescuing them sooner. They may even feel anger about being removed from their country of origin. They are not convinced that they are really loved, and that they are permanently part of the family. To protect themselves from being hurt again by the loss of love, they may reject parents' attempts to attach, and use distancing behaviors, refusing to interact or communicate with parents. Children with insecure or anxious attachment often believe that if Mom did not give her full attention, she does not love them. If she is absent, or paying someone else attention, she has stopped loving them. Deprived in the orphanages of the constant care they needed, these children do not trust adults to meet their needs; they felt responsible for their own survival. So these children lack trust, and need to be in control at all times.

https://www.rainbowkids.com/adoption-stories/reactive-attachment-disorder-in-adoptees-513

JMHO

 

[georgiajean]

I agree that the end was avoidable. Not excusing the crime that was committed, but I do think that WM and SM's pride, need for control, worry about public perception, and inadequate information led them to kill their daughter. I believe it was a storm that built over time, privately, behind closed doors. And I don't believe it was intentional or planned. Whoever did it lost control and lost their humanity.
I believe they made the mistake of comparing Sherin to their other daughter, and felt they needed to make Sherin be like her sister. Emphasis on the word MAKE. So very sad.
Thank you Grouchymom for the information about RAD and attachment. Very helpful.

 

[crelisacorder]

I agree that the end was avoidable. Not excusing the crime that was committed, but I do think that WM and SM's pride, need for control, worry about public perception, and inadequate information led them to kill their daughter. I believe it was a storm that built over time, privately, behind closed doors. And I don't believe it was intentional or planned. Whoever did it lost control and lost their humanity.
I believe they made the mistake of comparing Sherin to their other daughter, and felt they needed to make Sherin be like her sister. Emphasis on the word MAKE. So very sad.
Thank you Grouchymom for the information about RAD and attachment. Very helpful.

I agree!!! GM, thank you for the insight on RAD! Being a foster parent, I was introduced to RAD! It was no easy task! I wish I had this insight back then! CPS, attempted to give info on RAD, it was minamal, at best. They were just looking for placements for my fosters (I use the term "fosters" lightly....I loved them as they were my own bio children). CPS didn't care where these children were placed! As long as "you didn't call them on a regular basis, all was well". When in truth, many of my "fosters" were lost by the system. CPS, had the mindset, "they are in a home, that's all that matters". When my two babies, brothers, 11 months apart in age, were removed from my home, I said "NO MORE"!!!! My bios are adults. Those two precious babies...I would have given my life for them, as I would my bio children.


I apologize, I have to stop now..... they were MY babies!!!!! They were taken away because the youngest of the two "ran away" on Halloween day.

The eldest of the two, had been in our home for 2 years. We fought the system..... we wanted the brothers to be together. the youngest one was only with us for a brief time..... he's the one that "ran away". The eldest is now up for adoption, the youngest is in an institute.

Our goal was to adopt both. Due to the fact that I didn't appeal the CPS decision to take them out of our home (they honestly had no cause to do so) we were no longer "allowed" to "foster".


I had had runaways, many times, none were ever removed from my home.

This instance seriously broke my family apart. Now divorced, the father to our children... all adults.... all because I didn't appeal the process. These boys were literally 11 months apart, in age. When they were stripped out of my families arms, they were 7 and 6 years old. They had never had a stable home life, both molested by their bio father, mom watched.

The tears that are flowing right now, I can't hold back!!!

What happened to Sherin, whatever it was, it scares the hell out of me!!!! Where has the humanity been lost????

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

 

[rosesfromangels]

Thank you for sharing your journey. Your experience can help so many others by telling it. God Bless!

 

[BlinkOfAnI]

I agree!!! GM, thank you for the insight on RAD! Being a foster parent, I was introduced to RAD! It was no easy task! I wish I had this insight back then! CPS, attempted to give info on RAD, it was minamal, at best. They were just looking for placements for my fosters (I use the term "fosters" lightly....I loved them as they were my own bio children). CPS didn't care where these children were placed! As long as "you didn't call them on a regular basis, all was well". When in truth, many of my "fosters" were lost by the system. CPS, had the mindset, "they are in a home, that's all that matters". When my two babies, brothers, 11 months apart in age, were removed from my home, I said "NO MORE"!!!! My bios are adults. Those two precious babies...I would have given my life for them, as I would my bio children.


I apologize, I have to stop now..... they were MY babies!!!!! They were taken away because the youngest of the two "ran away" on Halloween day.

The eldest of the two, had been in our home for 2 years. We fought the system..... we wanted the brothers to be together. the youngest one was only with us for a brief time..... he's the one that "ran away". The eldest is now up for adoption, the youngest is in an institute.

Our goal was to adopt both. Due to the fact that I didn't appeal the CPS decision to take them out of our home (they honestly had no cause to do so) we were no longer "allowed" to "foster".


I had had runaways, many times, none were ever removed from my home.

This instance seriously broke my family apart. Now divorced, the father to our children... all adults.... all because I didn't appeal the process. These boys were literally 11 months apart, in age. When they were stripped out of my families arms, they were 7 and 6 years old. They had never had a stable home life, both molested by their bio father, mom watched.

The tears that are flowing right now, I can't hold back!!!

What happened to Sherin, whatever it was, it scares the hell out of me!!!! Where has the humanity been lost????

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

Reading your post broke my heart. The system meant to protect children is broken and the kids pay the price. All the child abuse cases I've had in court where the parents keep getting their kids back time and time again yet they take them from kind loving foster parents at the drop of a hat. I am so sorry for your grief. Thank you for sharing.

 

[Grouchymom]

I agree!!! GM, thank you for the insight on RAD! Being a foster parent, I was introduced to RAD! It was no easy task! I wish I had this insight back then! CPS, attempted to give info on RAD, it was minamal, at best. They were just looking for placements for my fosters (I use the term "fosters" lightly....I loved them as they were my own bio children). CPS didn't care where these children were placed! As long as "you didn't call them on a regular basis, all was well". When in truth, many of my "fosters" were lost by the system. CPS, had the mindset, "they are in a home, that's all that matters". When my two babies, brothers, 11 months apart in age, were removed from my home, I said "NO MORE"!!!! My bios are adults. Those two precious babies...I would have given my life for them, as I would my bio children.


I apologize, I have to stop now..... they were MY babies!!!!! They were taken away because the youngest of the two "ran away" on Halloween day.

The eldest of the two, had been in our home for 2 years. We fought the system..... we wanted the brothers to be together. the youngest one was only with us for a brief time..... he's the one that "ran away". The eldest is now up for adoption, the youngest is in an institute.

Our goal was to adopt both. Due to the fact that I didn't appeal the CPS decision to take them out of our home (they honestly had no cause to do so) we were no longer "allowed" to "foster".


I had had runaways, many times, none were ever removed from my home.

This instance seriously broke my family apart. Now divorced, the father to our children... all adults.... all because I didn't appeal the process. These boys were literally 11 months apart, in age. When they were stripped out of my families arms, they were 7 and 6 years old. They had never had a stable home life, both molested by their bio father, mom watched.

The tears that are flowing right now, I can't hold back!!!

What happened to Sherin, whatever it was, it scares the hell out of me!!!! Where has the humanity been lost????

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

I am so sorry that you and your family were yet other case of abuse by the system. I have seen it time and time again. For some bizarre reason the parents that care the most and fight for their children seem to be the least supported. I sometimes think the system is afraid of strong dedicated fosters and would rather have lazy yes people. It seems to happen country wide. Yet as you know the warehouses always do fine. We were not supposed to grieve the loss of those children that were part of our lives it they deciided to send them home or to family after a year or more, just when they were finally bonding well. I know it doesn’t help but please know you are not alone. We almost lost our Katie days before the adoption was final to a family member showed up at the last possible moment after she had been in the system for almost two years. We spoke with her doctors and they agreed a change like that could have literally killed her. We decided it was the last foster we were going to do an d hired a lawyer. Several thousands of dollars later we, no Katie prevailed. We knew she would never.survive with a 21 yr old with no parenting or medical experience, in a mobile home in Mississippi. But we also knew if we bucked the system they would make us pay. So the day the adoptions was final we hung up our license. We also realized she was going to need all of our attention at that point anyway. We were also i the process of trying to adopt another baby that we had and the day we contested them giving Katie to that family member they removed the boy that we had for almost a year and got 6 weeks after he was born. They placed him with a great grandmother that had failed not one but 3 home studies. We had to mourn him just as surely as if had passed away. But hang in there the sun doesn’t shine on the same dog every day.

 

[edimmu]

Yes it was a boo boo! Thank you for pointing it out. I did mean the parents adopted child (in the article).
I am really sad today. I watched the video of Sherin singing in the church choir with her sister by her side. Little Sherin looks so lost. Reading the article posted earlier about another Indian family adopting a girl in India made me think of all the issues Sherin must have had. She was in the US for a year. It must have been a whole new world for her. She would have been so scared most of the time.

RIP little Sherin.