I'm another new poster, drawn in by the classic "whodunnit" nature of this killing. Also a retired police officer. I've tried to follow these threads, but it seems impossible to keep up with all the info. I think the thing that bothers me most is the conflicting theories that go thru my mind, based on past precedents. Any police officer will tell you that the big 3 reasons for murder are:
Money
Drugs
Sex
So, "sex" jumps out front on this one. Then, husband happens to be out of town. Convenient coincidences like this also leap out to me. Another sub-motive with married couples in trouble could also be child custody, or influence on the affections of the kids.
The video is a rare bit of bonus evidence here, but it also causes more conflict for me. Another adage I used to toss around was "burglary loves company". The burglary angle here is pretty weak, IMO. As a former K-9 handler, burglars were what we dealt with. Church burglars were usually young, and rarely acted alone. They suspected alarms, and moved fast. Smash a window and head for the office usually. They don't pre-plan, and invest in phony police gear to hide. They pull a t-shirt over their head and move fast, not this plodding around. They get out quickly.
Alarms on churches are funny. Many suburban churches still don't have them. Truthfully, they aren't targeted much. Still, thieves always expect them. I don't think many folks think this was a burglary, but the nonchalance of the suspect is unusual.
The video really bugs me. That walk does often look like a woman, but the part where the suspect stops and grabs at a door knob looks very male. The walk does look much like the father-in-law, but at the same time looks a little more effortless; maybe younger? The suspect doesn't look quite as big given the bulky clothes to me. Hard to say.
The choice of weapon certainly suggests a male suspect typically. If whoever did it was dumb enough to buy a new hammer for the job, it will probably backfire.
Another tid-bit I haven't noticed mentioned is that this suspect is someone capable of slipping away for an hour at 0400 on a rainy morning without worrying about being noticed, or leaving kids unattended, etc. Just something to file away.
I'd imagine the detectives are working very hard on tracking phones, and trying to run down places where that tactical gear might have been sold. It could be tough, but if you look for say, a purchaser that bought a single jacket in the last 3 months, something could turn up.