UK - Arthur Labinjo Hughes, 6, killed, dad & friend arrested, June 2020

[Dotta]

Thank you for this, honestly my brain has never misfired so much in my entire life trying to figure this out!

Do you know if TH could use the defence he is currently using eg coerced and controlled victim, to argue that he didn’t have the foresight and his encouragement was more to keep ET placated?

The responsibility of a parent is to care and protect the child - not to placate a monster!

 

[ChloLo]

Placating your abuser and committing/allowing child abuse I don’t know if it’s an allowed defence, IMO it shouldn’t be. They could have kept the causing or allowing the death of a child on the table against Hughes, which interestingly falls under domestic violence legislation. He can try it, but I’m not sure it’s going to wash.

 

[Tinksx]

The responsibility of a parent is to care and protect the child - not to placate a monster!

These “parents” never do though

 

[ScottishSam]

Placating your abuser and committing/allowing child abuse I don’t know if it’s an allowed defence, IMO it shouldn’t be. They could have kept the causing or allowing the death of a child on the table against Hughes, which interestingly falls under domestic violence legislation. He can try it, but I’m not sure it’s going to wash.

This is what really angers me - I know my children. I can tell what kind of day they've had at school by their face, if they're playing up I know something's on their mind. I know when they're lying. TH said Arthur would change his story, which is pretty normal for a 6 year old. They don't have the vocabulary or the same ability to time events as we do. And ET would be standing over him saying I've already told you what happened, why do you need to ask him? That would be ringing alarm bells for me, I'd want my child's version of events without the other person being present.

 

[Tinksx]

Placating your abuser and committing/allowing child abuse I don’t know if it’s an allowed defence, IMO it shouldn’t be. They could have kept the causing or allowing the death of a child on the table against Hughes, which interestingly falls under domestic violence legislation. He can try it, but I’m not sure it’s going to wash.

It definitely shouldn’t be! I just feel, from his counsel, they’re definitely going for that angle and massively so. I was just hoping it’s not allowed as a defence or a mitigating factor and then he gets off with it completely, that’s my fear. To be honest though, the way you’ve explained the legislation, I am far more confident in the charges and the evidence needed to secure that conviction.

 

[ScottishSam]

It definitely shouldn’t be! I just feel, from his counsel, they’re definitely going for that angle and massively so. I was just hoping it’s not allowed as a defence or a mitigating factor and then he gets off with it completely, that’s my fear. To be honest though, the way you’ve explained the legislation, I am far more confident in the charges and the evidence needed to secure that conviction.

He must have been blind to not see the weight loss. And the 130 bruises, although he claims he only hit Arthur on the legs. I take it by this point he'd given sole control of his son to a woman who admitted she didn't want him.
He obviously wasn't showering Arthur - or he'd have noticed the above the legs bruises.
I can't imagine leaving the house with someone else's 2 kids, and leaving my own flesh and blood on a concrete step

 

[Dotta]

You know, I try, I really try as a compassionate Christian to find even one mitigating factor for TH but...
Nothing comes to my tired brain.

Even Solomon could not get water out of an empty jug!

 

[ScottishSam]

You know, I try, I really try as a compassionate Christian to find even one mitigating factor for TH but...
Nothing comes to my tired brain.

Even Solomon could not get water out of an empty jug!

I think TH is expecting to be found guilty, but I think knowing what he knows now about ETs part in all this he wants her to receive her punishment too.

 

[Tinksx]

He must have been blind to not see the weight loss. And the 130 bruises, although he claims he only hit Arthur on the legs. I take it by this point he'd given sole control of his son to a woman who admitted she didn't want him.
He obviously wasn't showering Arthur - or he'd have noticed the above the legs bruises.
I can't imagine leaving the house with someone else's 2 kids, and leaving my own flesh and blood on a concrete step

Oh but he did see, he admitted in court that he didn’t send Arthur to school due to his weight loss. Me as a parent, if my child started to lose weight and started developing bruising, I would automatically think Leukaemia and get to the gp asap. Even if we negate the fact that TH didn’t see the abuse, he would’ve seen the after effects of it and that alone would prompt you to seek medical attention. He didn’t.

 

[ScottishSam]

Oh but he did see, he admitted in court that he didn’t send Arthur to school due to his weight loss. Me as a parent, if my child started to lose weight and started developing bruising, I would automatically think Leukaemia and get to the gp asap. Even if we negate the fact that TH didn’t see the abuse, he would’ve seen the after effects of it and that alone would prompt you to seek medical attention. He didn’t.

That's right- I forgot that bit. He didn't really question the not eating though did he - what 6 year old goes on hunger strike?!!
I'd be the same re bruising and weight loss, and if my child banged their head and complained of a headache I'd seek medical advice.

 

[Tinksx]

That's right- I forgot that bit. He didn't really question the not eating though did he - what 6 year old goes on hunger strike?!!
I'd be the same re bruising and weight loss, and if my child banged their head and complained of a headache I'd seek medical advice.

If I try and put myself in his situation regarding just Arthur and no ET, I could see a 6 year old refusing food and acting out. Arthur had just lost his mum, under circumstances that are not the norm. I would be thinking “this is a reaction to what has happened.” I would then get him to the gp, push for referrals to CAMHs, nutritionist, occupational therapy etc… I think TH almost looked to ET for parenting advice? He took her thinking chair and implemented it, he listened and believed her that Arthur was a problem, he relied on her feeding Arthur. If she said it was just Arthur being a “brat” he believed her and her “knowledge”.

 

[Dotta]

If I try and put myself in his situation regarding just Arthur and no ET, I could see a 6 year old refusing food and acting out. Arthur had just lost his mum, under circumstances that are not the norm. I would be thinking “this is a reaction to what has happened.” I would then get him to the gp, push for referrals to CAMHs, nutritionist, occupational therapy etc… I think TH almost looked to ET for parenting advice? He took her thinking chair and implemented it, he listened and believed her that Arthur was a problem, he relied on her feeding Arthur. If she said it was just Arthur being a “brat” he believed her and her “knowledge”.

The only miti factor that just occurred to me is pandemic/lockdown.
Would have he been able to meet all these specialists?
Maybe online?

 

[ChloLo]

To add to the comments about ET making the rules. Pregames she had already taught her own children to be quiet. If you know what I mean. TH lacked confidence and was thrown in the deep end with Arthur. This wasn’t the ready made perfect son, this was a boy with problems that needs guidance and support: Then she can point out all the ways Arthurs “disruptive”. I feel sorry for all the children caught up with these monsters.

 

[ChloLo]

Also if your child isn’t eating and noticeably losing weight, you find things they will eat and make sure they are eating something at least. My 7 year old is super fussy, there’s only a handful of dinners she’ll eat. We make do. We don’t let her starve. At no point does TH have a normal parents reaction since ET is on the scene.

 

[Carroll520]

Was there much said about how TH handled things when Arthur woke at 3am the night before he died with a headache? Did he even get him water at that stage, I would love to know how he treated him at times like that when ET wasnt awake
Like for him to say Arthur seemed grand at 1pm the day he died, before TH left the house to get the cake etc, seems mad, wasnt he barely able to walk up the stairs in the hairdressers house that morning. I am not buying it they he was as lead as he makes out by ET, he must have seen how in bits Arthur was, when he walked out that door to go to the shops with ET's two kids

 

[Dotta]

Also if your child isn’t eating and noticeably losing weight, you find things they will eat and make sure they are eating something at least. My 7 year old is super fussy, there’s only a handful of dinners she’ll eat. We make do. We don’t let her starve. At no point does TH have a normal parents reaction since ET is on the scene.

He didnt have parent's reactions b/c he himself was like a child.
Under parents' wings, then he chose 2 dominant partners.
I have a feeling he, unconsciously, viewed ET like a mother figure.
MOO

 

[Carroll520]

Also if your child isn’t eating and noticeably losing weight, you find things they will eat and make sure they are eating something at least. My 7 year old is super fussy, there’s only a handful of dinners she’ll eat. We make do. We don’t let her starve. At no point does TH have a normal parents reaction since ET is on the scene.

Exactly, you will try your best to get their weight back up, especially if him loosing weight was the apparent reason you were keeping him out of school. The major problem was the tension in the house, so feed your child, get him back to school with his friends and out of the house. He didnt do any of those things. Doesnt make any sense

 

[Carroll520]

He didnt have parent's reactions b/c he himself was like a child.
Under parents' wings, then he chose 2 dominant partners.
I have a feeling he, unconsciously, viewed ET like a mother figure.
MOO

Yeah does he have some sort of mental health issue I wonder, well clearly he does, to have done all this but wonder was he into drugs as a teen which stunted his development, he seems to have no cop on or maturity

 

[Carroll520]

That's right- I forgot that bit. He didn't really question the not eating though did he - what 6 year old goes on hunger strike?!!
I'd be the same re bruising and weight loss, and if my child banged their head and complained of a headache I'd seek medical advice.

And if there was a video of them sctratching at their skin in pure frustration and angst, it would ring serious alarm bells. I think the little guy was asking for a doctor in that video too. How cruel to ignore those warning signs

 

[Tinksx]

The only miti factor that just occurred to me is pandemic/lockdown.
Would have he been able to meet all these specialists?
Maybe online?

I can only speak for myself when I say this, my ASD child still had access to CAMHs and neurodevelopmental team during the pandemic. Even if Arthur had been assessed online as opposed to in person makes no difference really, it’s the fact that TH didn’t seek these services in the first place.