GUILTY UK - Helen Bailey, 51, Royston, 11 April 2016 #10

[SweetCinnamon]

Frauds flitting like flies round a honeypot... life coach included. I know that the pain of loss is so intense it becomes unbearable and anything even fake therapy is preferable to that searing pain. But the only healer is time and a step back. And pain is always there, just a bit more bearable. Poor Helen. He really was an arch manipulator and told her JUST what she needed to hear to blunt that intense grief.


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[Tiny]

I had to pop out for a few hours and agree with idea of feeling five minutes of happiness and so much sadness after the verdict. At the thought of Helen's family not seeing their beloved daughter and sister again. John Sinfield's family at the loss of their Helen and the anger they must feel having heard JS being included in IS's tawdy tale. And for Oliver and Jamie having to hear that their mum's death might not be an accidental death.
John Bailey is the epitome of grace and good in this world.
Michelle I hope you are in the warmth now and are having a nice cuppa after what must have been an unbelievable stressful day.

 

[LozDa]

I was under the impression that a Life Coach was a pretty informal standing. That it was more a sort of friendly advice sounding board sort of thing. No professional marks are being overstepped I don't think - I don't think it's that sort of thing.

Might be wrong though!

 

[Squamous]

I find it hard seeing the lovely pics of Diane. I know there are mixed feelings about the sons here but their world must be shattered, and seeing family snaps of their beloved mum on the news must be unbearable. If they are the kind of young men that Michelle believes them to be then that must entirely be a tribute to Diane, poor woman. I know several of us were struck with IS saying WTTE that "he was left in charge of two boys" as if Diane had gone to the bingo on a school night rather than died completely out of the blue, losing her chance to see her sons grow up.

 

[Tiny]

That's the bit that has always been missing for me... other women. Manipulators like IS tend to always have one or more women on the go even if they're not really interested in them sexually, they're interested in what they can get from them in exchange for their companionship. I also wouldn't have been surprised if the reason IS didnt want to marry Helen was because he had somebody else already lined up.

I do wonder that as well ColourP. I think he would have been chatting to quite a few after Diane but wanted Helen for her wealth. After Helen I did wonder if he was targeting other women...

 

[ColourPurple]

BIB Imagine that CP. ( It wouldn't be the first time in a spousal murder would it but I can't see anyone wanting the press attention that they had ever dated him.)

I was struck again in the news how chameleon like he is. The photo c. 7 years ago with Diane and boys at Xmas dinner - a totally different looking man. Change of style. Also the beard and then beard free.

Do we really think women are his thing though? We know £ is his first love.

Using women to get their £ is definitely his thing though.

 

[LozDa]

Woahhhhhhh, guys! Just reading the Life Coach comments.

She's not done anything wrong here.

She's not claimed to be a doctor or counsellor... Helen obviously trusted her and valued her advice and opinion.

Whilst we may not feel the same way about Life Coaches or similar, I feel a bit wary of being so disparaging about her.

Each to their own in terms of choosing where their advice comes from.... surely?

 

[Tortoise]

Do you think that we will EVER get to the bottom of the Tesco incident?

:laughing:

No. But I think the blue shirt puzzle may have been solved. I think he's wearing a white t-shirt at the tip and Chinese takeaway.

 

[MillyM]

One of our members who is qualified has said that "life coaching" is unregulated, I haven't looked into it myself.




Did you go down today MillyM or did you take a break from it?

No, tbh, was thinking it would be tomorrow verdict in.

Do you think he will appeal? Does he have any grounds? I know what Flint said, but I think that was more QC speak in line with the guilty verdict than from him himself. Where will he be jailed? Funnily, about 2:15 this afternoon I was just headed to the tube station in north west London, near Edgware, and there was a six cycle outrider team, police van and a prison wagon in the middle passed me. Did cross my mind if him en route!

 

[TheRisenBishop]

I thought people like that - ie counsellors - were bound by a professional code of conduct that they could not enter into personal relationships with clients? Or is that just sexual ones?

She wasn't a professional - therefore, no code of conduct existed.

I'd also say, given her comments and advice that we know of, she ought to find another vocation or at least educate herself in her chosen one! Utterly disgraceful conduct.

 

[BatFace]

Frauds flitting like flies round a honeypot... life coach included. I know that the pain of loss is so intense it becomes unbearable and anything even fake therapy is preferable to that searing pain. But the only healer is time and a step back. And pain is always there, just a bit more bearable. Poor Helen. He really was an arch manipulator and told her JUST what she needed to hear to blunt that intense grief.


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I wouldn't blame the life coach directly- she'd have had no idea that Helen was being targeted by a predator. Helen clearly WANTED to move forwards in her life, and she got herself a cheerleader to give her the confidence to do just that. It's just extremely unfortunate that Helen stumbled into the sights of a psychopath on the prowl. That said, I really wish she had helped Helen thoroughly evaluate exactly what this slouching workshy slob would bring to her life- it is striking how utterly unworthy he was of a woman of Helen's calibre, even if he'd just been a harmless bumbler. Sadly, he was far more dangerous than that.


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[ColourPurple]

Woahhhhhhh, guys! Just reading the Life Coach comments.

She's not done anything wrong here.

She's not claimed to be a doctor or counsellor... Helen obviously trusted her and valued her advice and opinion.

Whilst we may not feel the same way about Life Coaches or similar, I feel a bit wary of being so disparaging about her.

Each to their own in terms of choosing where their advice comes from.... surely?

She would have been listening to Helen describing IS as this amazing, sensitive, kind person, so although she could have warned her to be careful rather than asking her how she would feel if somebody else snapped him up, there's no way she could have known what an absolute psychopath IS really was or that Helen would end up dead.

 

[pinklilies]

Do you think that we will EVER get to the bottom of the Tesco incident?

:laughing:

Oh you can laugh Lozda, [emoji3] it will come out one day, I tell ya...🤣

 

[TheRisenBishop]

BIB Imagine that CP. ( It wouldn't be the first time in a spousal murder would it but I can't see anyone wanting the press attention that they had ever dated him.)

I was struck again in the news how chameleon like he is. The photo c. 7 years ago with Diane and boys at Xmas dinner - a totally different looking man. Change of style. Also the beard and then beard free.

Do we really think women are his thing though? We know £ is his first love.

The women, notably grieving women, are merely a means to a nefarious end.

 

[Florrie]

Woahhhhhhh, guys! Just reading the Life Coach comments.

She's not done anything wrong here.

She's not claimed to be a doctor or counsellor... Helen obviously trusted her and valued her advice and opinion.

Whilst we may not feel the same way about Life Coaches or similar, I feel a bit wary of being so disparaging about her.

Each to their own in terms of choosing where their advice comes from.... surely?

Absolutely and it was clear from Helen's book that she did not want a counsellor.

I do feel that for support to be unbiased though it can't be blurred by personal involvement ...that's what happened here...they became friends. Once that happens the boundaries become less clear.
it's not the fault of Shelley Whitehead that IS turned out to be a predatory psychopath. However had she maintained a professional distance she might have been more able to help Helen really evaluate this new relationship.


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[peter010101]

the facade is gone and that is the real him

I wonder whether he was required to lose the beard. If not, it was a dumb move on his part. Unmasked, almost literally.

 

[Alyce]

No. But I think the blue shirt puzzle may have been solved. I think he's wearing a white t-shirt at the tip and Chinese takeaway.

Ah, so after the tip ( and the Solicitors ) he goes back home and gets duffed up by Joe ( or was it Nick, I cant keep up ) but doesn't even change his top to go to the bowls that night.

 

[Alyce]

No, tbh, was thinking it would be tomorrow verdict in.

Do you think he will appeal? Does he have any grounds? I know what Flint said, but I think that was more QC speak in line with the guilty verdict than from him himself. Where will he be jailed? Funnily, about 2:15 this afternoon I was just headed to the tube station in north west London, near Edgware, and there was a six cycle outrider team, police van and a prison wagon in the middle passed me. Did cross my mind if him en route!

I think he might appeal the sentence ( depending on how long it is ) but I cant see how he can appeal the verdict.....I mean, I am sure he would like to try, but can't see any grounds for it.

He has gone back to Bedford tonight from what we have heard - will be interesting to see if he stays there or if he gets sent elsewhere, given Bedford's overcrowding situation.

Also, one of the many activities available at Bedford is indoor bowls...wouldn't want him to be able to take part in that.

 

[cottonweaver]

Had missed this one:

A very emphatic Bill Manley , old friend of Diane and Bassingbourn resident explains on BBC news at 6 that

" Diane was a very fit and healthy person , the whole of Bassingbourn was in shock , no one could believe it had happened cause there was no sign or prior knowledge that there was anything wrong with Diane whatsoever."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/live/bbcnews

( vs IS's account of decades of epilepsy)

 

[Tortoise]

She would have been listening to Helen describing IS as this amazing, sensitive, kind person, so although she could have warned her to be careful rather than asking her how she would feel if somebody else snapped him up, there's no way she could have known what an absolute psychopath IS really was or that Helen would end up dead.

But she should have gone to the police with her 'intuitive doubts' when he switched tone and quizzed her on his way back from Broadstairs. That kind of information is like a piece from a jigsaw puzzle.

What have you told police? Hello?