icemaiden65
Member
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2017
- Messages
- 344
- Reaction score
- 13
I bow to your superior wit Cottonweaver but I do wonder if implicating Boris in some way could be part of his defence? As in:
"Boris had developed a terrible online bingo habit, I worship that dog so I deleted the browsing history to protect him. He'd started slipping out to a seedy casino after hours, he got there on a minature scooter, disguised in a tiny burka. He developed a taste for jagerbombs and ended up owing gambling debts to a couple of gangsters called Nick and Joe. The little fella begged me not to tell anyone and I agreed (cos I loved him so much), on condition he get help - I researched gamblers anonymous online and obviously I had to delete that to respect his confidentiality... One night Nick and Joe followed him home from the casino, the ****s burst in and threatened me and Helen (after I'd told them to remove their shoes).
I know it sounds like a shaggy dog story Your Honour but I swear every word is true" (gets out concealed Jif lemon again and double squirts eyes).
So how do I now hop into bed shaking with laughter and not have to explain myself? And why 2 trips to the tip - don't tell me, to wave a second fond farewell to the duvet/quilt/ bed cover!