There have been quite a few deaths of young women recently which would not have happened if they hadn't been so drunk. India, Karen Buckley, Caroline Everest. Even poor Sian O'Callaghan who should have been safe getting into a taxi. And also a number of young men who have ended up drowned in waterways.
This is always such a tricky subject. The blame in regards to deaths such as India's should absolutely be placed on the murderer and no one else, in my opinion. India's drunkenness definitely made her more susceptible a target to Edward Tenniswood but regardless of her state of intoxication he would always have had the inclination to hurt and kill women. But at the same time, there is such a huge problem with alcohol abuse these days, especially in Northampton (I grew up there) and it genuinely scares me.
I don't drink any more - I'm an alcoholic who has been sober for over a year now - and honestly, I really hate alcohol and drinking culture now, but in my teenage years and early twenties I got into states - much worse than India's apparent drunkenness - on a very regular basis. I did some very stupid things and it is down to pure luck more than anything else that no harm came to me and my friends on our many nights out in the town centre. And it scares me to think that that's all that saved us - pure luck, and being in the right place at the right time, because we did not look after ourselves or each other in the slightest. It scares me because young women should be able to go out and drink too much and wake up in the morning with nothing more to worry about than feeling silly and hungover - but at the same time, it also scares me that we live in a culture where people want to do this so often and obliterate themselves to that level. And I'm not judging, at all, because I spent the best part of a decade living like that, only on a daily basis.
I don't know, I just end up feeling so in conflict with myself, haha. I have always, always believed that women should be able to live the lives they want, and if that includes getting drunk on nights out with friends, then so be it - especially when they are so, so young, because so many people do it and come through it unscathed. I still believe that, because I believe that women should be able to do these things without being victim-blamed. But at the same time, although we want the world to be fair to women and equal, right now it just isn't, and we know that. So where is the line drawn? When should we be held responsible for our actions, or responsible for the situations we leave others in, even if it means victim-blaming? I think some people find this line pretty easily, but I just get so frustrated. I guess in the end I'm just really angry, because ultimately it feels like a woman going out and getting drunk is held in more contempt than a man murdering her. Why does that even happen? Why is it that, in this case and others like it, we still have to find something to demean the victim by, or offer as some sort of proof or justification that she deserved it, even slightly? Why can't we just be angry that a man killed her, that one human being actually believed that it was his right to take advantage of and murder a young woman? I know that we have to have some sense of responsibility, that we have to be sensible and keep ourselves safe, and that women in particular have to be vigilant in doing this. I'm absolutely not denying that that needs to happen, and I'm definitely not saying that all women should be able to do whatever they like with no restrictions or consequences. I guess it just makes me sad that we still live in a world where getting too drunk holds a consequence as tragic as this.
Ahhh IDK, feel free to ignore this. I'm not disagreeing with you, more just word-vomiting out my feelings...! I'm local to the area, I grew up here, and the case is close to me as my brother and a lot of my friends were friends with India. So I'm probably being overly sensitive. This is just something that gets to me.
I'm in NO way victim blaming - I'm very much 'women should be able to go and wear and be as drunk as' and be safe but I also want to scream out 'why didn't you just stay in taxi and go home' ... so so sad.
