Found Deceased UK - Nicola Bulley Last Seen Walking Dog Near River - St Michaels on Wyre (Lancashire) #13

[Steno]

I had no idea...does it cause depression? This news is so sad

it can be horrendous for some women. Others can sail through it. The common misconception is it's just hot flushes, but the list of possible symptoms goes on for miles. The mental health aspect is particularly awful, with some even thinking they may be suffering from dementia. I've been involved in menopause research and support and some women's stories have been heartbreaking.

 

[Lilly b]

One can most certainly be suffering from depression but be “functioning” in society.

Depression normally knocks you out, have no interest in anything, and you don't want get out of bed, anxiety on the other hand does the opposite, and yes I know because I've had both

 

[cottonweaver]

I don’t think they needed to release this information. I can see how it may stop speculation but it’s so personal. IMO.

Maybe it will make people back-off and stop creating elaborate media theories on like ' the phone is a decoy' and SM abuse harassing the witnesses ( such as the caravan owner who we were told had been very helpful) or tiktokkers intimidating others like the resident at Hornby House ( which had been searched three times by invitation SIO said)

Less commentary in media as if this is a true crime whodunnit has to be better?

 

[Deleted member 320164]

Okay, so we know now she had alcohol issues. It still doesn't explain why she is nowhere to be found

This new information seems to make it more likely both that she might have entered the river in some way, and that she might have gone off somewhere.

I know right.

 

[Allabouttrial]

It's a funny one, many women struggle with the menopause, many don't. And I'm sure we've all had a few drinks too many, and had phases in life where we drink too often, being in lockdown and the way life has changed for many people over the last couple of years. But NB, didn't give up on life as such, continued to work, got up in the mornings, took the kids to school, and the dog for a walk, which indicates she wasn't suffering depression, if you know you know what I mean. I think they have had to come out with this info, as the indication of vulnerability had come out, and I get why they said it after the presser, so then no questions could be asked.

That's a myth about depression <modsnip> assuming people can't function while suffering from it.

 

[Beginnersleuth]

Someone losing it, physically or verbally I would imagine.

Domestic violence

 

[bringmeacupoft]

Remember it was PF that offered to search the river for free so they had nothing to lose asking him to have a look & rule that out , unfortunately it meant PA was also dishonest in doing so in imo

In what way was he dishonest? I mean don’t get ne wrong the guy did my head in with his interviews etc. but he had nothing to contrary to suggest NB was anything but fit and healthy. Where if we’re being honest she was either in active alcoholism or recovering.

There are no winners here IMO. It’s an absolutely sad situation, the family must be so truly devastated this has come out without their control or say so. They are clearly devastated and denial.

 

[ayrshireguy]

Someone losing it, physically or verbally I would imagine.

May explain the bruising on PA

 

[BrittMontero]

I would be interested in what happened during the teams meeting. I'm sure the police have analyzed this already. I appreciate NB was muted and camera off for the meeting, but I wonder was there anything significant or negative in the teams meeting that could've affected her? It's incredibly sad. I think it's relevant that there was a welfare check at home in the weeks leading up to her going missing.

As someone who has struggled with addiction and as a regular al-anon attendee due to family members active alcohol addiction, the revelation she had been struggling COULD be highly relevant and change things. It also could be totally irrelevant eg in terms of an accident or foul play. But medically and psychologically this could change things..

I wondered about the meeting as well; as she's in the mortgage business and with rising interest rates/economic issues, home sales are slowing, etc., perhaps there were negative updates about sales targets, layoffs, who knows what?

 

[wallaby]

No arrests have been made.
Whatever can that mean?
MOO

It doesn’t say who the welfare check was on, just that it was her house. I guess most are assuming it was her but we don’t know.

Only person I’ve ever known to get a police “welfare check” was a neighbour who the local school sent the police to do a check on. One of their children had said some stuff about their dad to a teacher (it wasn’t true in the end) and the school called the police who sent police cars with full lights etc on.

 

[Nikynoo]

Re welfare checks...would this usually lead to an arrest? What scenarios generally lead to welfare checks being done?

The police would investigate to see if a crime had happened e.g. assault. If the parties are known to each other e.g. a domestic relationship, then that is automatically DV. If minor children are present, that is an automatic referral to social services for a follow up.

 

[Allabouttrial]

In what way was he dishonest? I mean don’t get ne wrong the guy did my head in with his interviews etc. but he had nothing to contrary to suggest NB was anything but fit and healthy. Where if we’re being honest she was either in active alcoholism or recovering.

There are no winners here IMO. It’s an absolutely sad situation, the family must be so truly devastated this has come out without their control or say so. They are clearly devastated and denial.

So she wasn't healthy like he said then.

 

[ClazzyGalxo]

Suicide is not always something that's planned beforehand, it can and often is in the spur of the moment.

Very true statement. Just look at the tragic case of Stephen Laurel "tWITCH" Boss. Two days before he took his life, he was all over social media with his perfect loving family dancing and smiling in front of the holiday Christmas tree. With a seemingly happy and successful man with a great career which made him into a wealthy celebrity, a beautiful wife and children and a what seemed to portray a picture perfect life he took his life without any notice which seems like it literally came out of NOWHERE. This example truly illustrates the very sad reality that suicide can unfortunately be very impulsive and unpredictable.

 

[Furore]

From the article.
No arrests have been made.
Whatever can that mean?
MOO

Probably just what they say - no evidence this far as investigated that led to an arrest warrant for anyone involved and we don’t know anything about the case or who was involved.

 

[Beginnersleuth]

Domestic violence

Or a suicide attempt but can’t think why anyone would be arrested for that. Have known people wanting to take their own life and shouting and banging walls/breaking cupboards and wardrobes when family have tried to stop them, trying to run away from the house to take their own life, esp when drunk and assaulting police officers. This is just what I’ve experienced re “welfare checks” in an old job in MH services. Not saying this has happened here. Just that’s been my prev experience

 

[Nikynoo]

Surely though, if she were alive and came back, the information they've released impacts her ability to find employment etc. They've effectively libelled her. Though I more agree than disagree that the info is good to have out, but it surely can only be justified if the police believe she is dead.

They haven't libelled her if it is true.

 

[PS8800]

I wonder if the reason the grandaparents picked the children up from school the night before she vanished was to do with Nicola's drinking? I was always confused by why that was mentioned and reported.
I wondered if she wasn't able to drive/needed to sober up, so arranged for her parents to do the school run. Paul may have tackled her about it and there may have been words exchanged - which he probably shared with LE as soon as she disappeared.
She may have felt terrible shame about the incident three weeks before (whatever that was ) and if there was (understandable) strain on the marriage and the grandparents needed to be on call to help out, it may have made her feel worthless and "they'd all be better off without me". I think Paul's insistence that she was not in the river and asking her to "come home" was more indicative that he thought she had run away - and that maybe she was hiding out somewhere, feeling like she couldn't return because her problems might come to light. MOO

This may explain why she done things differently the next morning-guilt?

 

[Anxala]

I am glad the police have come out to stop the speculation. This changes everything and will have impacted all areas of her life including rational thinking. I feel so sorry for her family

I'm glad too. If it also throws empathetic light on and understanding of addiction and how it's always a day by day challenge, then even better. There's a bit of me that thinks it's unfortunate that such a significant aspect of NB was withheld for so long. But it's also a pointer to the sad fact that addiction, even here now in 2023, is still seen as something to hide, something to be ashamed of.

It must have been so hard for PA, loving her, desperately wanting her to get better, but not being able to help her.

 

[Tanzanite]

If you suffer chronic depression it’s still difficult to think you would leave the dog running loose.

Hopefully, anyone thinking along similar lines will walk away with a more meaningful understanding of the complexity of depression and mental illness, and not least because of the moving, brave personal stories that people are sharing here.

 

[I wonder]

<modsnip: personalizing >When you’re consumed by it, any thoughts of the dog would not be on your radar

Everyone’s mental health is unique, but I would never, ever put my animals at risk.