Found Deceased UK - Nicola Bulley Last Seen Walking Dog Near River - St Michaels on Wyre (Lancashire) #13

[DFR3217]

This new information seems to make it more likely both that she might have entered the river in some way, and that she might have gone off somewhere.

 

[Allabouttrial]

Really wish the police didn't release this. The public did not need to know and now it's out there. Her poor kids will see this down the line.

I've not seen the police do this sort of thing before. I feel they've handed this investigation fine up until now.

^There you go. Prime example of why people are hesitant to speak on their mental health.

If it was a physical medical issue would that have been ok for the police to mention?

 

[pineapple23]

It's interesting to know PA informed them of these 'vulnerabilities', I wonder if anyone else knew of them and they can be verified by other people who knew her well and / or medical records if necessary.

Well the police made a welfare visit (link above) so I think they would have been fully aware.

 

[Destroyer]

That is interesting considering PA asked PF to come and help. That he didn’t include PF in the full picture.

Family and friends have painted a VERY different picture to what day to day life has obviously been for them. Not even a hint of ‘you know every family has its up and downs’ kinds chat, not even a hint of an underlying issue of that kind.

Such a difficult situation I understand and I would probably do the same in their situation.

Remember it was PF that offered to search the river for free so they had nothing to lose asking him to have a look & rule that out , <modsnip: Not victim friendly>

 

[armchairdetective123]

I wonder if the reason the grandaparents picked the children up from school the night before she vanished was to do with Nicola's drinking? I was always confused by why that was mentioned and reported.
I wondered if she wasn't able to drive/needed to sober up, so arranged for her parents to do the school run. Paul may have tackled her about it and there may have been words exchanged - which he probably shared with LE as soon as she disappeared.
She may have felt terrible shame about the incident three weeks before (whatever that was ) and if there was (understandable) strain on the marriage and the grandparents needed to be on call to help out, it may have made her feel worthless and "they'd all be better off without me". I think Paul's insistence that she was not in the river and asking her to "come home" was more indicative that he thought she had run away - and that maybe she was hiding out somewhere, feeling like she couldn't return because her problems might come to light. MOO

My understanding is that they looked after the children because she was working

 

[Katykins]

It's a funny one, many women struggle with the menopause, many don't. And I'm sure we've all had a few drinks too many, and had phases in life where we drink too often, being in lockdown and the way life has changed for many people over the last couple of years. But NB, didn't give up on life as such, continued to work, got up in the mornings, took the kids to school, and the dog for a walk, which indicates she wasn't suffering depression, if you know you know what I mean. I think they have had to come out with this info, as the indication of vulnerability had come out, and I get why they said it after the presser, so then no questions could be asked.

One can most certainly be suffering from depression but be “functioning” in society.

 

[Officer Dibble]

here you go -

https://twitter.com/x/status/1625920200116736002

It would have cost him and his team a lot of money to drive up there and use their equipment and pay to stay over for however many days they were up there. JMO MOO

 

[EvaP]

It is horrible for some of us. The drop in hormones causes all sorts of symptoms, depression, anxiety, loss of self esteem, insecurity, hair loss, hot flushes, weight gain,suicidal thoughts, irregular heavy bleeding that can even go through clothes making it difficult to work. For most women, HRT can resolve this but it takes several months to work & some women can't take it depending on other health conditions. Many have to stop working altogether. The drop in oxytocin is the hormone that makes you care about other people. I went through a period of wanting to run away & leave my family & it was all because of hormones. Thankfully I am now on HRT.

Can make you rage like a bull too.

 

[Mollie123]

He said they was talking about marriage in his interview

There was a point in the interview when PA was asked if the plan was still to marry, there was a pause and an unsure answer IMO. When asked in the same interview what PA was feeling, if I am remembering correctly the first word was anger? Hindsight is a wonderful thing as they say, knowing what we know now. These two instances above have been playing on my mind.

 

[lvbut]

Hello everyone, this is my first post here. I've been reading the threads since day one, but have felt compelled to register and contribute based on the recently released information. I've found myself feeling desperately sad to find out Nicola struggled with alcohol. As an alcoholic myself (currently doing yet another reduction plan, after nearly two decades of struggling) I know how utterly hellish and desperate addiction can be. My heart breaks for her, and I can understand the police not wanting to divulge that information due to the hurtful and judgemental stereotypes some people have of those of us who struggle with it.

A few things which MOO are worth considering. Suddenly completely stopping (or even significantly reducing) alcohol consumption can lead someone who is physically dependent on it (not that I'm saying Nicola was, as we simply don't know) to experience DTs (delerium tremors) which can present as auditory/visual hallucinations, confusion etc. In extreme cases, it can also bring about sudden seizures. Which would obviously be even more dangerous if one occurred near water. Again, just from my own personal experiences and IMO. I'm not in any way saying that was the case here, but I'm assuming the police would have looked into that possibility.

Also, someone's tolerance level, if they have a previous history of alcohol issues, can increase very rapidly if they begin using alcohol again. It's a process called 'kindling.' Again, I know from my own personal experience how quickly tolerance can go up and how someone can still appear perfectly lucid, coherent and without any impaired motor functions even after a huge dose of alcohol. Again, IMO MOO, but another thing worth considering in terms of people speculating whether someone would have the capacity to drive, whether it would be obvious to those around them if someone had been drinking etc.

The press release states Nicola had begun struggling again recently. And again, from my personal experience, this is a hugely devastating blow psychologically to someone who struggles with alcohol issues. We work so hard to get them under control, can become sober for lengths of time, and then relapse despite constantly fighting every single second not to. There's such a huge amount of shame, guilt and hopelessness which goes along with that. Sometimes those feelings are so extreme, you believe the only way to finally be free of it is to remove yourself from the world and to end both your own suffering and the suffering of those who love you. Again, I'm not saying this is the case here, but it's definitely something which is a possibility. And one which breaks my heart for Nicola.

I hope so much that people are kind after this infomation has been released. Nobody knows the absolute hell of addiction unless they have been there themself, and I hope people don't judge Nicola for it, or make assumptions about the type of person she was. We are more than just our addiction, and we fight so hard to overcome it. Some of us simply don't make it, whether that's due to an accident whilst impaired, or actively by our own hand when the suffering becomes too much to bear.

Apologies for the lengthy post. Thank you for taking the time to read it. Wishing you all a peaceful evening, my friends.

Welcome, Purpleblues. Sending you love and positivity.

My other half is an alcoholic. He quit (with me) for 5 years, then started drinking again. It was bad for a bit, then he got better, now we’re just taking each day as it comes. It’s nice (wrong word?) to read it from your perspective. Sometimes it’s easy to get frustrated even when I know I shouldn’t.

I had problems with alcohol. Not alcoholism - binge-drinking at weekends made me violent and angry. I punched my best friend in the face, lost all friends, went missing, spent all of my rent in one night, made terrible decisions, started verging into drugs. I’m thankful to be sober for almost 6 years now, but I can remember the guilty hangovers. Having to apologise for saying/doing things. Everyone being angry at me. I never understood why I did the things I did.

Part of me feels really sad about this new news because if NB is still alive (and I really hope that’s the case), having this out in the public would be so detrimental, surely? It almost feels final. (MOO.)

 

[ameliak]

T

Hello everyone, this is my first post here. I've been reading the threads since day one, but have felt compelled to register and contribute based on the recently released information. I've found myself feeling desperately sad to find out Nicola struggled with alcohol. As an alcoholic myself (currently doing yet another reduction plan, after nearly two decades of struggling) I know how utterly hellish and desperate addiction can be. My heart breaks for her, and I can understand the police not wanting to divulge that information due to the hurtful and judgemental stereotypes some people have of those of us who struggle with it.

A few things which MOO are worth considering. Suddenly completely stopping (or even significantly reducing) alcohol consumption can lead someone who is physically dependent on it (not that I'm saying Nicola was, as we simply don't know) to experience DTs (delerium tremors) which can present as auditory/visual hallucinations, confusion etc. In extreme cases, it can also bring about sudden seizures. Which would obviously be even more dangerous if one occurred near water. Again, just from my own personal experiences and IMO. I'm not in any way saying that was the case here, but I'm assuming the police would have looked into that possibility.

Also, someone's tolerance level, if they have a previous history of alcohol issues, can increase very rapidly if they begin using alcohol again. It's a process called 'kindling.' Again, I know from my own personal experience how quickly tolerance can go up and how someone can still appear perfectly lucid, coherent and without any impaired motor functions even after a huge dose of alcohol. Again, IMO MOO, but another thing worth considering in terms of people speculating whether someone would have the capacity to drive, whether it would be obvious to those around them if someone had been drinking etc.

The press release states Nicola had begun struggling again recently. And again, from my personal experience, this is a hugely devastating blow psychologically to someone who struggles with alcohol issues. We work so hard to get them under control, can become sober for lengths of time, and then relapse despite constantly fighting every single second not to. There's such a huge amount of shame, guilt and hopelessness which goes along with that. Sometimes those feelings are so extreme, you believe the only way to finally be free of it is to remove yourself from the world and to end both your own suffering and the suffering of those who love you. Again, I'm not saying this is the case here, but it's definitely something which is a possibility. And one which breaks my heart for Nicola.

I hope so much that people are kind after this infomation has been released. Nobody knows the absolute hell of addiction unless they have been there themself, and I hope people don't judge Nicola for it, or make assumptions about the type of person she was. We are more than just our addiction, and we fight so hard to overcome it. Some of us simply don't make it, whether that's due to an accident whilst impaired, or actively by our own hand when the suffering becomes too much to bear.

Apologies for the lengthy post. Thank you for taking the time to read it. Wishing you all a peaceful evening, my friends.

Thanks for your post and the insight you provide. Wishing you all the best.

 

[Coach]

We don't know that. It could have been composed earlier but not sent until later

Could have been that she was letting him know she was thinking about resigning

 

[Beckxsy]

Back pedaling for all his worth. I bet this case won't feature on his CV

And pa failed to mention any of this in there very deep conversations and recent contact

 

[Tyzer]

If the police can release details about Nicola's vulnerabilities, they can release details of why they are so confident that she's in the river. Or is her being menopausal and dealing with alcohol issues their evidence? Good to know that these factors prevent you from third party harm.

 

[Awaywego]

It's also quite likely/possible IMO that following the welfare check a safeguarding referral would have been made in relation to the children. Just as a matter of course (am not suggesting they were experiencing direct harm) but parental mental health difficulties in combination with domestic issues/conflict/alcohol misuse would usually lead to a routine referral. This might have been incredibly difficult for Nicola.

 

[Tanzanite]

PF really is tone deaf, isn't he? Someone needs to tell him that it's not about him and his gigantic sonar technology.

 

[Mollie123]

here you go -

https://twitter.com/x/status/1625920200116736002

And why would it have changed the search strategy?

 

[scapa]

After this evening’s developments I think this now gives a realistic hope that Nicola will be still alive somewhere & I quoted the comment made right in the beginning by her close friend EW that she may of taken herself away to have some time on her own…

Also explains the approach by the LE to not waste too much, time, money & effort on the investigation when they knew what we do now

Agree with the first para but it seems that LE have spent a significant amount of resources on this case, certainly under the spotlight of a hugely interested public, but still. I'd expect some blowback should NB be found having some "me time" even as the investigation struggles on around her, but I don't think that's the case.

The Leah Croucher case comes to mind as one where the family did everything they could to keep LC alive in the public imagination -- at a terrible cost -- but couldn't seem to manage it.

Also, I hope not to have hear from PF for a good long while. Egads.

 

[pineapple23]

They don't suspect that NB was drunk and fell in the river do they, the police?

I feel that today has been an absolute trainwreck and the police need to get control now.

Imo there has been no such suggestion. But the balance of her thinking and her mood may have been affected.

 

[Officer Dibble]

Hello everyone, this is my first post here. I've been reading the threads since day one, but have felt compelled to register and contribute based on the recently released information. I've found myself feeling desperately sad to find out Nicola struggled with alcohol. As an alcoholic myself (currently doing yet another reduction plan, after nearly two decades of struggling) I know how utterly hellish and desperate addiction can be. My heart breaks for her, and I can understand the police not wanting to divulge that information due to the hurtful and judgemental stereotypes some people have of those of us who struggle with it.

A few things which MOO are worth considering. Suddenly completely stopping (or even significantly reducing) alcohol consumption can lead someone who is physically dependent on it (not that I'm saying Nicola was, as we simply don't know) to experience DTs (delerium tremors) which can present as auditory/visual hallucinations, confusion etc. In extreme cases, it can also bring about sudden seizures. Which would obviously be even more dangerous if one occurred near water. Again, just from my own personal experiences and IMO. I'm not in any way saying that was the case here, but I'm assuming the police would have looked into that possibility.

Also, someone's tolerance level, if they have a previous history of alcohol issues, can increase very rapidly if they begin using alcohol again. It's a process called 'kindling.' Again, I know from my own personal experience how quickly tolerance can go up and how someone can still appear perfectly lucid, coherent and without any impaired motor functions even after a huge dose of alcohol. Again, IMO MOO, but another thing worth considering in terms of people speculating whether someone would have the capacity to drive, whether it would be obvious to those around them if someone had been drinking etc.

The press release states Nicola had begun struggling again recently. And again, from my personal experience, this is a hugely devastating blow psychologically to someone who struggles with alcohol issues. We work so hard to get them under control, can become sober for lengths of time, and then relapse despite constantly fighting every single second not to. There's such a huge amount of shame, guilt and hopelessness which goes along with that. Sometimes those feelings are so extreme, you believe the only way to finally be free of it is to remove yourself from the world and to end both your own suffering and the suffering of those who love you. Again, I'm not saying this is the case here, but it's definitely something which is a possibility. And one which breaks my heart for Nicola.

I hope so much that people are kind after this infomation has been released. Nobody knows the absolute hell of addiction unless they have been there themself, and I hope people don't judge Nicola for it, or make assumptions about the type of person she was. We are more than just our addiction, and we fight so hard to overcome it. Some of us simply don't make it, whether that's due to an accident whilst impaired, or actively by our own hand when the suffering becomes too much to bear.

Apologies for the lengthy post. Thank you for taking the time to read it. Wishing you all a peaceful evening, my friends.

Thank you for explaining that. Sounds like a living nightmare. JMO