Kiki, I snipped the parts I can anwer - I hope you don't mind.
You ask fair questions. And I don't know what is being discussed in Susan's ward. But I don't get the sense that anything is being done for Josh at Susan's expense. Look at the Elizabeth Smart thing. There were huge searches for her after she turned up missing. The same thing happened with Lori Hacking. But in both those cases, people at least had an idea as to where they should begin a search.
In both of those situations, the person responsible for the crimes turned out to be LDS men (or, in the Smart case, an ex-LDS man). Those men didn't "get off easy" for their crimes. And neither man is currently an LDS member (both have been excommunicated). In both those cases, the community mourned for the victims (and celebrated when Elizabeth Smart was found safe).
From a philosophical standpoint, people of all religions should strive to be like Christ. Christ rebuked when someone was in need of rebuke; but he served everyone, regardless of who they were. He even showed kindness to those who murdered him "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do). I'm not suggesting that any Mormon is like that. But that is the model to which we should aspire.