Ontario Mom
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I cant speak for everyone but not all blended families have such a stilted long arm relationship. I know that from personal experience.
When I remarried...... my children never have called my hubby by his first name. They call him 'daddy' and their bio father they call 'dad' And his two girls have never called me by my given name. Instead they call me 'bonus momma' and have for 31 years. My hubby's two girls both picked that name for me on the day we got married. They have never referred to their step siblings as 'steps' either. They simply say to everyone 'this is my brother or these are my sisters.'
Nor have we ever referred to any of our children as our step children. We do not put labels on any of our children and never have. They are our children, period. And I know without a doubt that I am much closer to some of our grandchildren than their bio grandmothers and so is my husband. Its our home they want to come to more and we are the ones who are always there to support them all in whatever they participate in. Most of the birthday parties are held at our home for our five children, 10 grandchildren, and 4 great grandchildren.
We never went into our marriage with an attitude that 'these are mine' and 'these are yours.' Our children haven't known anything but inclusiveness starting even before we married. So not all marriages are the same nor the relationships between the children. We, became a family unit and we all are very bonded to each other and it only grows stronger as each year passes.
I cant say what the relationship was like for AJ but it is very possible she was very happy with her blended family including WH. I do know other families where the children are closer to the step-dad/mom or adopted dad or mom than they are with their own bio parents. I think it all depends if the child or children feel included rather than labeled and pushed aside.
So if AJ did love WH it makes it even more tragic and an utter betrayal if it turns out he is the one who harmed her. Which I am not saying he did for I really don't know what all evidence LE has in this case at this time.
IMO
I agree 100% that some step/blended families come together and just work out awesomely. No question about that. I suppose a lot of us here could share personal stories of beautifully blended families.
In AJ's case though, I don't get that vibe AT ALL. Mostly from what Zach himself has shared both here and on his blog over the years (but also from things others have said that know the family) I believe there was a lot of tension & bitterness going on with the adults and when that's going on it just filters down and sets the tone for the home. Not to mention WH's drug use (and who knows whatever else he was into), the recent separation of JH and WH and several other things I've seen from family members on SM. I don't think leaving WH's sister out of AJ's obit was an accident (after she publicly stated she doubted his innocence) and I think this is just yet another example of how things work in this family.
The sad thing is, even when a family home is full of tension and stress like that (blended family or not), the KIDS in the family are so used to it, it's still "home" to them. From AJ's twitter account she was actually looking forward to going home and getting a break from school.