Yesterday, while sitting on my porch having a cup of coffee, I decided to do some free flow writing regarding what we have heard and what we know to be true in terms of this case. I wrote for quite some time, and then was interrupted by a phone call. When I went back to re-read what I wrote, several things jumped out at him, that I hadn't paid any conscious mind to previously.
I had written on several things that were money related ( the debit/checking card, the $200 , the local who told us WH still had his side business and would actually go door to door to find extra work, WH's cocaine addiction, WH's other addiction, several of the accounts that were set up, and a few other things that I know, but can't discuss here). Money came up much more predominately than any other subject.
The second most written about thing was family dynamics (JH's past history with child support, WH and JH's recent split, JH's splits from RL and Zach, and again, several things that can't be discussed here on forum).
The 3rd thing I wrote the most about was sexual red flags, obsession and control issues.
What shocked me was that I had written/commented more about money that anything else. My gut has always told me that WH had an inappropriate relationship with AJ, or was obsessed with her sexually, and that this is why this beautiful young woman in no longer with us. But if I step away from my gut feeling...what I'm really seeing is more money and family dynamics at play here.
I'm not committed to any particular motive at this point, but that little freeflow writing excercise really forced me to take a step back from gut feeling, and reconsider other motives.
I encourage other WSers to give it a try.
This is pretty much where I've been for a while now, except my gut does not say WH sexually abused AJ. That doesn't mean he didn't think it, and it doesn't mean my gut is right about anything. But to me it's always been about money and possessions. AJ was one of those possessions.
WARNING: What I'm about to say may seem harsh, but it's my own opinion and observations, and in no way is intended to be judgmental of AJ's mom. I do not believe that she ever did anything intentionally to put her daughter in jeopardy. So here goes…
To me it seems like JH used AJ like some sort of emotional collateral in her relationships. When she wanted to be with a certain man, she wanted that man to love AJ and make her the center of his world. When she no longer wanted to be with that man, or that man didn't want to be with her, JH wanted him
completely cut off from AJ. That was the "scorned man's" ultimate punishment in the end, and the "next man" was presented the awesome opportunity to love AJ and be her dad (NOTHING sexual). We are told this happened with bio dad, with Zach, and I think it happened with Wes. Sadly, I think this was emotional immaturity in the extreme on JH's part, and I think it was a ploy that had worked for her in the past. Zach has been very open about how he committed 100% emotionally to AJ and JH, and when JH decided it was over and convinced AJ to shut him out, too, it shattered Zach. I think that in the beginning of his relationship with JH,
AJ was their glue, too. I also see indications in both relationships with bio dad and Zach that money and "what the man could provide" were make-or-break relationship criteria for JH, and if you didn't provide as JH expected, you were cut off from her and AJ. Similarly, when Wes began jeopardizing the family's financial and emotional stability and safety, JH realized she had to take action and get WH out of the home (and rightly so). Only this time she wasn't cutting AJ off from men like bio dad and Zach…she was taking AJ (and AJ's baby sister) away from a psychopath. To me it's important to remember that while WH was apparently good to Zach's daughters, they were still emotionally and legally
Zach's daughters. But JH, AJ, and the baby were emotionally and legally
WH's. If AJ rejected WH along with JH, then 2 out of 3 of HIS girls (JH, AJ) were against him. I don't think he had the maturity or the self-control to handle that "like a man" (to use his ridiculous words). If WH hurt AJ, I think it was because she stood up to him and made it known that she would not be "his" any longer.
At this point, I really wish this would turn out to be a crime committed by an unknown or unrelated perpetrator because the repercussions for the family and close friends will be so much worse if WH is proven guilty. A "guilty" verdict for WH in this crime will be nothing compared to the life-long self-imposed guilt her loved ones will feel for having accepted and trusted WH. Guys like WH never feel guilty about anything, just victimized. It is the actual
victims who will feel weighed down by misplaced guilt if WH did this. And that breaks my heart.
