Actually, I think he might be doing it to get under someone's skin. What I do find strange is that WH always calls the younger girls his daughters when their own bio father is clearly involved in their day-to day-life. To me that's almost like a slap in the face to ZH.
I also personally know some people like this with their stepchildren.They are always saying my son or my daughter when they are steps but they want to make it seem like they are these wonderful close people and family like they are the perfect blended family. when in turn it's not fully the truth.
Don't want to side-track here but since we don't have much to go on I want to comment on this.
I'm a child of divorce. A very messy divorce. My dad was having an affair and 25 years later he is still married to that woman. She is my step-mom and over time her and I have developed a healthy, loving relationship. HOWEVER my mom would have been LiVID (that doesn't even do it justice) if she called me her daughter or asked me to call her mom. to me, with my experience, it's a line you don't cross and speaks volumes about WH and his controlling demeaner.
For years I felt so torn. I loved my mom and she was the one who stayed single almost my entire life so she could work full-time and be around for me when I needed her, etc. But she struggled with maintaining neutrality. Much like ZH, mom my felt betrayed by my dad's family and even me if I showed any positive feelings towards my dad's new wife. Even at 30 I tread carefully. I was sometimes upset with her but ultimately knew what she had to deal with and gave up to be the best parent. My step-mom stayed in her lane and to this day does her best to keep my mom's name out of her mouth and when she can't, it's only an outpouring of support. WH & JH seem like they didn't respect ZH's right as a parent or the girls' rights as daughters to feel, grieve, have space, and figure out their own feelings on new step-dad and previous "step dad" (and dad). So many lines are crossed in the relationship in that household.
My husband comes from divorced parents and his mom has remarried 4+ times. Each time she wanted the boys to cal new guy dad. Since I've met my husband, his mom has remarried twice (and has 14 year old daughters, too) and every husband becomes dad. Bio father becomes more and more alienated. He drinks more and his pain may feel inappropriate to those looking on at a distance but it is real and he feels handcuffed because of laws and well, other things. False abuse allegations to further the distance and create a situation where questioning her actions mean questioning claims of abuse, etc. my husband and I hate hearing the girls get called daughter by strange men and affectionate "I love my dad" comments from his sisters after knowing said guy for a month. It creates instability, confusion, low self esteem and countless other problems. Now that they are teens these problems are becoming more evident. We are constantly reiterating their strength and their ability to have control over their own lives, that they can control who they love and call dad, not who forces that title above them. We know they will grow up to be amazing women, because my husband overcame his childhood, but to ignore the repercussions can be even worse.
When I turned 16/17/18 I became more vocal wih my father (who is comparative to JH here) and became less afraid to express my point of view and defend my mother. It negatively affected our relationship for a long time and there were a few moments of violence attributed to these conversations (on both sides, to be totally fair) I could speculate that AJ was developing her own voice (WH himself said she was tough) and that created problems within the home..
I have no idea what went on in AJ's home or whether the accounts made my ZH are accurate. I just feel based on my own experience in my own life that it feels like a complicated & messy situation and I hope AJ had somebody looking out for her outside of the home. Sorry for the rant but I think it's important to really address this about the home. And then you add on inconsitencies, silence from mom, etc and it just feels weird.
Whether stranger, abduction or gone by her own will I feel for AJ and the pain she has undoubtedly experienced. It's really amazing and motivating to see her smile shine through and to learn about all she has accomplished and planned on accomplishing. I hope she is safe and this beautiful, smart & inspiring young lady will come home soon.
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