I want to record a few backup pieces of info that I found while trying to fill in some blanks of the timeline for myself. Sorry if what I type is out of context or has already been discussed. I read thread five today up to page 16 - lots of interesting stuff.
I had speculated before that SM could suffer schizophrenia. Tonight I ran across some lyrics he wrote according to an article, "'Syko Sam' Allegedly Argued with Girlfriend", 9/26/09, (cbs5.com/crime) that states, "In a song posted on YouTube, the Castro Valley, Calif., man growls about the evil voices inside my head. They just want me to murder continuously."
Later it's reported that he said, "It's not my fault. ... Don't blame me you can blame all the voices."
This rings true as to what schizophrenia sounds like. I know someone who suffers from this condition and we have had candid talks about what his experiences are like. When I first met him I was afraid of him and kept my distance. He had a weapon in his parent's front yard once and was acting pretty nutso. Everyone was afraid at that time. That was twenty-three years ago. He is on disability now and takes his medicine diligently (there are medicines available now that were not available twenty years ago - you have to be diagnosed and take them - they work well.) We can always tell if he has not taken his medicine - very rarely he'll call us up and begin discussing conspiracy theories and space issues and, for some reason, JFK and just strange, strange, strange connections that don't connect. Here's the thing, if he's on his medicine, he is totally rational and has shared with me about his condition, how he is fully aware of it and he'll tell me outright "it's tough having voices in your head" and "when I was young I was always hearing those voices and I couldn't get anything done. I would get these headaches. I didn't understand what was happening to me." Sometimes he'll say, "You know I can't hold a job because the fumes from the paint affect me and I get such a bad headache." He'll tell me "It's tough to be a schizophrenic." I tell him that I know it must be but with medicine he has done so well and we are all proud of him for staying with it and turning his life around. Today he is a thoughtful person. He remembers birthdays and keeps in contact and shares his feelings about things, has awareness of time, his schedule, cooks, etc. He worries about his friends and helps them. It's like night and day. But he needs to take the medicine - a miracle really.
It has been discussed what type of condition SM may have, if any, but I had a hunch it may be this. It doesn't change what he has done but would bring awareness of why sometimes people do horrible things like this. One thing though, the people who know him should have noticed something 'different' about him - off. The fact that he kept to himself and was quiet would be part of his mask. Even if he hadn't murdered, the condition would grow to where he couldn't have a normal conversation without the other person going :waitasec:. And it still will if this is what he has. When the person I know was twenty, he was undiagnosed, held a job and, because he was so handsome too, walked around and one would never know. Initially noone wants to talk about or see it until it's unavoidable. It's very, very difficult to accept. Also not all people who suffer from this would kill people but you'd know that they seem crazy for sure.
Just my :twocents:. If this is the diagnosis, it would explain the fine line as to why some people can listen to horrorcore and remain sane. They claim that they would never kill anybody but if you are literally 'sick', well ..... not a good combination.