Of course I wouldn't want to blame any one that was raped. I blamed myself as a young child for my uncle raping me because he told me it was my fault. I totally understand about not blaming the victim.
But maybe it is because I am a survivor of childhood abuse that I feel so strongly that we should not be giving girls this false sense of security. It seems like we are giving them the message it is ALL in the boys court and none of it is in theirs. And they can get drunk with the boy, get in his bed, do some heavy petting, and decide to just go to sleep, with no accountability if the guy , who is also drunk, feels like he has a green light. I know it is a very unpopular opinion here and I am being seen as blaming the victim. And maybe I am , in a way. But I think every case has to be looked at subjectively. If the boy is a good friend, someone you know and trust, then by all means, set your limits and feel confident.
But I see people saying that a girl can meet a drunk guy at a party, start making out with him, go up to his room, get in his bed, do sexual foreplay, and feel confident he will know when you change from green to red light. And I think that is unrealistic. I know that the new mantra is NO MEANS NO. But can one say YES YES YES YES YES and suddenly say no and not expect some confusion from the drunk boy?
So I guess I do blame a girl if she meets a stranger at a party, drinks with him, gets into his bed, begins to go to 2nd and 3rd base and then says no. I think it is irresponsible behavior. It does not mean it is not rape. But I still believe it is irresponsible and some poor choices on the girls part. And I think it is wrong to tell girls it is fine behavior and all the boy's fault.
Here come the tomatoes. :whiteflag: