VA - Hannah Elizabeth Graham, 18, Charlottesville, 13 Sept 2014 - #3

[JenMom]

I cannot tell you how many times I've tried to intervene/ offer assistance to very inebriated girls (at concerts, college football games, public pools, etc) to be rebuffed and cussed out just for asking if they needed help...and I am a petite woman in my 30s... The sad truth is you can't always help.

We must do a better job of communicating to our girls how vulnerable they can be. I hate that it's the reality...but it just is.

 

[DocBrew]

That shot of the vigil is pretty sweet. Good on the students for coming together like that.

 

[ChopperRN]

AND - bars need to put policies in place. If a young girl alone or heck, anyone looking a little lost tries to get in a place, let them in. This bar could have sat her down and served her water or a Coke and had her call a friend. Don't deny entrance to a young girl alone especially at this time of day.

I totally agree. Why didn't anyone stop that poor girl and ask her if she was ok, needed something, or help her. We live in such a selfish world. I've stopped people like this before. Not sure if it helped them but I like to think it did. It's outrageous that no one did a thing in those videos. We stopped a young Marine one night....totally out of his mind drunk, upset, kept talking about a girl that dumped him. We sat him down, and got his cell phone ( He handed it to us) and called his platoon sergeant. It was listed in his phone. He came and picked him up. We stayed with him till he did. I'm sure that kid would have been harmed that night or worse stepped into traffic in that condition and been killed. People need to stop being so selfish and take a minute to help someone out.

 

[Claudia]

That shot of the vigil is pretty sweet. Good on the students for coming together like that.

Yup, and that's showing only about 1/3 of the people in attendance.

 

[necco]

What kind of friends would leave this girl alone at any time on a night out? She is not from this country and you just think ONE person would have stayed with her the whole night out of decency. People just stink! Wasn't there ONE single person that was not so drunk or whatever that they would not have stayed with her to make sure she was okay? Selfish world!

Several friends have been listed as offering to accompany her at various times during the night. She turned them down. These are college kids who wander around all the time and nothing goes wrong. Hindsight is 20/20 and her friends will be second guessing their choices for the rest of their lives. And they were also likely in a similar state of inebriation.

Please don't blame them. They had no idea any more than Hannah did. And they will blame themselves enough for all of us.

Please don't fault the bouncer, either, she was underage, she can't come in the bar. That probably happens 25 times a night on weekends. Keeping underage people out of the bar is his job.

 

[doughgirl07]

I agree that you can't "help". I too have personal experience, from being on the "I'm fine" end of the conversation. But, in MH case, they could have let her in the arena and taken her to wait out the show in a guard's room. with HG, if she tried to gain access with a fake, I see the denial of entrance, but if she asked to come in and was obviously incoherent, they could have let her in and given her a soda and had her call someone. If she refused that, than atleast you tried.

 

[GeeButtersnaps]

:twocents: think of a college town like a concert. There are always drunk people. It is common. And people that are drunk or on drugs are not rational. Being the only non drinker that I knew in college, and know now, I know very well that more often then not you can not 'take care' of a drunk person. They don't think they are impaired, they'll ignore, argue, act idiotic. Jmo

I agree as someone who very rarely drinks anymore and being around people that do it's very interesting how many people will just NEVER admit to being wasted when I (being sober) can tell without a doubt that is the case. It's always "I'm just a little tipsy!" Or something to that effect..

 

[carbuff]

Just want to add: I'm not so sure it's a copycat, though. I honestly believe it is a well orchestrated abduction of a vulnerable and alone young female. A plan that is implemented by small groups of young criminals who are at first chameleon-like (friendly and charming) who set the vulnerable victim at ease until they turn a dark corner where she is ambushed by the larger group and taken away. They don't care so much who she is just that she might appeal to some subset of their clientele. I believe the same thing happened to Dashed Sage Smith. She/he was asked by a new friend to meet him down Main Street near the bus terminal. No one has seen Sage or his friend since.

Her circle might not be all young people. Could include profs and assistants, pastor, other musicians (she was in the band) and even parents and older siblings of her friends. Etc.

 

[MLE]

I cannot tell you how many times I've tried to intervene/ offer assistance to very inebriated girls (at concerts, college football games, public pools, etc) to be rebuffed and cussed out just for asking if they needed help...and I am a petite woman in my 30s... The sad truth is you can't always help.

We must do a better job of communicating to our girls how vulnerable they can be. I hate that it's the reality...but it just is.

It happens to me by my own sister.

 

[trigger]

she's on the sidewalk , travels by the back fence then appears ,walking towards the camera then steps out of the frame for a minute or two ,reappears walks toward camera then you can barely see the top of her hear as she makes her way to the door between the outdoor area and the entrance to the bar...you can follow her as she continues past the large framed male(bouncer) and heads away from the viewer and crosses the street..I'm referring to the Grady's Pub video

I saw the video but it was much bigger. So sad watching her.

If anyone wants to see it bigger hit control and the plus sign a couple of times, then minus when you want it to get video smaller.

 

[kathryann]

Have any of her friends talked to anyone?

 

[Just K]

Her circle might not be all young people. Could include profs and assistants, pastor, other musicians (she was in the band) and even parents and older siblings of her friends. Etc.

Hopefully, like with Dashad Sage Smith telling his roommate who he had a date with, Hannah may have mentioned to someone close to her something that might help to locate her and result in an arrest.

 

[DocBrew]

Several friends have been listed as offering to accompany her at various times during the night. She turned them down. These are college kids who wander around all the time and nothing goes wrong. Hindsight is 20/20 and her friends will be second guessing their choices for the rest of their lives. And they were also likely in a similar state of inebriation.

Please don't blame them. They had no idea any more than Hannah did. And they will blame themselves enough for all of us.

Please don't fault the bouncer, either, she was underage, she can't come in the bar. That probably happens 25 times a night on weekends. Keeping underage people out of the bar is his job.

Great post.

 

[tarabull]

More pics from the vigil:
http://www.dailyprogress.com/news/l...01a4bcf6878.html?mode=jqm&=0#&ui-state=dialog

:candle:

 

[snarkymalarkey]

I'm curious about where she was before the pub too. She came from the east. Is there video of her walking by the pub earlier...heading east? Or did she wrap around from another direction. And what WAS she doing when she walked out of the frame for a couple mins before trying to gain entry into McGrady's?

From all the video I watched, it seems like she is high on something. In that one video, it looks like she may have been checking her phone. You can see how her arm seems to be positioned that way, and then she stops behind the partition for a moment so you can't see her. When she reappears, it looks like she might be putting her phone into her back pocket. Then she stumbles off the sidewalk, maybe because she didn't expect such a steep drop, and then she stumbles back up around the corner, and maybe feels her rear-end because she fell, or she has cards or her phone in her leggings and is checking that they are still there?

If she has a google account, google actually tracks your movements. You can always view where you have been. It's kind of creepy.
https://maps.google.com/locationhistory/b/0/

 

[Dixie811]

What a beautiful vigil

 

[HFfan1]

I definitely don't fault anyone for missed signs or for failing to notice or help.

However I do think it serves as a reminder that we, as a community, should pay more attention to the people around us- even if they are strangers.

 

[thinksalot]

If she has a google account, google actually tracks your movements. You can always view where you have been. It's kind of creepy.
https://maps.google.com/locationhistory/b/0/

That is creepy. Mine must be deactivated because it is not registering anything.

 

[Claudia]

That is creepy. Mine must be deactivated because it is not registering anything.

Mine either. I don't have location services on.

 

[thinksalot]

I finally realized what's been bothering me all day.

I think it's a copycat crime.

I think somebody in her circle set her up and probably killed her. I haven't worked out exactly what, but it's been at the back of my mind the whole time we worked through her path.

On reflection I don't think I want to say any more than that. Not in a public forum where he could be reading. Yeah, okay, it's late and I'm a drama queen. But.

I don't think anyone in her circle would do that. Until recently they probably didn't even know much, if anything, about Charlottesville's crime history.