I love how you describe the citizenship aspect of your daughter's online presence. From a slightly different angle, I have two kids who are polar opposites. I can and have done similar things with my one child. The guidance and dialogue got us to a great point and safely launching to college next year. My second is mercurial, impulsive and full of adventure. On the net and in life, a new plan had to be hatched because it was not just about awareness and dialogue. He needs boundaries and guidance in ways that have challenged and will challenge us.
Your point about being the guide for child is well stated. I think the underscore for me is that one has to recognize who your child is and how they function in order to get the best plan in place. I have seen many parents abdicate to what other families do rather than recognize safety is centered on who your child is. Not all kids should drive at 17. Not all kids are ready for college at 18. Certainly, there are many young kids who are not ready for an unchecked online life no matter how small their digital footprint is.
It may not be enough to have your child's password and access to their phone on a regular basis. Many parents may need to really look and assess what their child is up to. I have seen a lot looking through some of the teen profiles that have a missing thread on WS. I often think how could they have some of the photos and statements posted.
Well said. It is so important to understand personality and developmental differences!
It is a misleading societal construct that all or most kids are ready, have the skills, abilities, impulse control ect...for different privileges/responsibilities, at (roughly) the same age. The guidelines are just using statistical averages.
(Reminds me of that quote by Mark Twain about lies;
"There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn lies! and statistics.").
Yes! my child has some challenging, atypical aspects to her makeup as well, I have had to go against the grain, many, many times because I
know her. and it's hard sometimes, because people are a judgemental lot.
(Bedtimes, what my kids eat, how they dress,
recreational activities, what they read, watch, listen to, and SO many other areas people feel entitled to critique, not up for debate with the Nosy Nellies as far as I am concerned lol!).
We don't try and keep up with Jones's around here.
For example, she is, just about literally, the only one of her 5th grade friends, who does not have her own phone. (I kid you not, all these 11 yr. Olds have iPhones here!), I feel she is not ready yet, and also I see no good reason to have the added expense. We share my ( Non IPhone), android phone, and for now that will have to do.