Oh interesting thank you RT. I just cannot imagine "punishing" my college age children. I mean they pulled all kind of carp but they had to live with the consequences of it, not me. Conversation between adults is good. I think the only way I would cut off college funds would be if:Good post, JBean. I like the way you handle your dudes, sitting them down and talking. Most effective way to deal with college ages, I think. My mom had a phase wherein she wanted to control me via money strings for school. She backed off, but I had a friend whose parents did that and she rarely speaks to them decades later.
1. They were engaging in illegal behavior
2. Just weren't getting the job done..ie more partying than studying.
That would be the extent of my trying to control their behavior. By the time my kids were in college, I was tired of being in charge and was anxious to move to a guiding "adviser" status. I was more than ready to let them handle themselves. parenting is exhausting!