Found Deceased WA - Cheryl DeBoer, 54, Mountlake Terrace, 8 February 2016 #7

[ANZAC]

A bit off topic, but....

I am so saddened by the numbers and statistics for suicide. I have no way of knowing yet if CB's death is suicide, but just the research and reading I've been doing makes me feel so sad for people who think that suicide is the best solution. Unfortunately, I have known three close friends who have committed suicide, all as adults and all men. But reading the statistics just makes my heart heavy that there is that much hurt and pain.

I found some great information on facts, figures and risk factors here: http://www.suicidology.org/resources/facts-statistics

I assume most of us have been touched by suicide in some way. My younger daughter is struggling with depression and anxiety, and has made one gesture/attempt. My heart goes out to the families impacted by suicide. The most difficult suicides to work are the teen suicides, especially as a parent it is easy to imagine it happening to you.

I think love and support can work wonders but as a parent I'll tell you that my daughter's issues are well beyond what parents could handle, so professional help is good but it is a long slow road.

I will say that seeing those that have terminal illnesses end their lives does not make me sad (I support death with dignity).

I would say that often family members are very surprised and that the person has been struggling or hiding their issues from them. I am not suggesting that is the case with CD but as I said this does happen.

The toughest suicide I've been to (I had to excuse myself from the rescue once he'd been found) was a former co-worker, with two young children. Sometimes people have hidden chemical imbalances -- from any rational point you could argue has family is far worse off without him. That's the only SAR subject's funeral I've been to, I hope I never go to another.

What bothers me is that there is still a big stigma attached to suicide and mental health issues. This should be a national or global discussion, not stigmatized.

 

[DatelineFan]

I think the book could be irrelevant. I have several books in my car. If something happened to me, they would mean nothing. I also tend to think they're irrelevant since they said a book was in the car since early in the investigation. I think they might hold back if it was a clue. Who knows.

 

[TTF14]

I think the book could be irrelevant. I have several books in my car. If something happened to me, they would mean nothing. I also tend to think they're irrelevant since they said a book was in the car since early in the investigation. I think they might hold back if it was a clue. Who knows.

I agree. I have about 7 books in my car right now. Stryker probably didn't answer the question because he didn't know off the top of his head what the book was and forgot to find out, didn't find it relevant, etc.

 

[stryker57]

I personally don't know what the book was that was in her car. She liked reading so that isn't a surprise to me.

As for the car typically the 98' Legacy was mainly used for transport to and from the park and ride. She didn't want to drive a nice car to the park and ride, and have it broken into/stolen etc...

Sunday, she got oil change in Legacy, bought new windshield wipers, just a typical day. Wouldn't be my first thought if I were planning to do myself in the following day.

 

[marcyjoy]

What struck me was these sentences: "Something to look out for when concerned that a person may be suicidal is a change in behavior or the presence of entirely new behaviors. This is of sharpest concern if the new or changed behavior is related to a painful event, loss, or change. Most people who take their lives exhibit one or more warning signs, either through what they say or what they do."

I realize there that the key words are "may" and "most." However, her work friends, colleagues, and husband all say that there was no new or strange behavior.

• Stryker says that they had all just returned from a vacation to the Bahamas.
• Friday she was working on a complex project and was complimented on how well she was managing it.
• Cheryl spoke with several family members, including her son and mother, during the weekend and seemed fine and "her usual happy self."
• Cheryl made purchases from Amazon that were delivered on Monday.
• The cat was picked up, as Stryker said that there was no blood in the cat carrier. JusticeForCheryl says that they picked up the cat in a different car than the one Cheryl drove to work on Monday.

Those are the only facts that I can think of right now; all the rest is speculation.

I think I missed the Amazon orders and Monday delivery...I did a quick search but didn't see anything. Do you happen to know what thread number or who posted it? I'd like to go back and look at that....thanks!

 

[Yvettea]

Can you imagine your mother being told something or shown something she found so awful she saw no way to go on?

 

[TTF14]

Can you imagine your mother being told something or shown something she found so awful she saw no way to go on?

Like what?

 

[AzPistonsGirl]

I am back on the fence thanks to so many good ideas and insights posted lately. The fence seems a good place to be rather than trying to fit pieces in to make a theory most plausible. IMO it helps to let the facts speak rather than choosing the facts that fit best.

Leanne Bearden had just returned from quite a nice vacation too.

 

[Yvettea]

Like what?

It would depend on the person and some people would never feel they can't go on.

 

[TTF14]

It would depend on the person and some people would never feel they can't go on.

Like someone confessed a crime to them or something? I'm not following.

 

[stryker57]

Can you imagine your mother being told something or shown something she found so awful she saw no way to go on?

If this is directed at me, no not really...

 

[Yvettea]

No, like someone exposed someone they loved or seriously threatened their security. Just examples and not applicable to this specific case.

 

[Master Gee]

I'm starting to wonder now, how dark it is in the culvert, and how Cheryl would be able see all that she was doing, glasses or not, it was dark in there right? She can see in the dark, comfortably? Doesn't even need to use a cell phone flashlight, what if she dropped the plastic bag? Anyone know how dark it is in there?

Just a hunch that she entered the culvert from the west side and walked to the east side to be better concealed. Did whatever she did on the east and her body eventually floated back to the west side as that was the way the water flows. Would explain why the concentration by LE on the East side, lack of disturbance to the entrance of the east side. Possible evidence left on the east side.

 

[Stripehaven]

What struck me was these sentences: "Something to look out for when concerned that a person may be suicidal is a change in behavior or the presence of entirely new behaviors. This is of sharpest concern if the new or changed behavior is related to a painful event, loss, or change. Most people who take their lives exhibit one or more warning signs, either through what they say or what they do."

I realize there that the key words are "may" and "most." However, her work friends, colleagues, and husband all say that there was no new or strange behavior.

• Stryker says that they had all just returned from a vacation to the Bahamas.
• Friday she was working on a complex project and was complimented on how well she was managing it.
• Cheryl spoke with several family members, including her son and mother, during the weekend and seemed fine and "her usual happy self."
• Cheryl made purchases from Amazon that were delivered on Monday.
• The cat was picked up, as Stryker said that there was no blood in the cat carrier. JusticeForCheryl says that they picked up the cat in a different car than the one Cheryl drove to work on Monday.

Those are the only facts that I can think of right now; all the rest is speculation.

Thank you for this. It is so difficult to see any red flags relating to Cheryl. Clearly she was a beautiful and well-loved woman and we all want to believe she had a happy, fulfilled life.

I still have trouble thinking Cheryl may have taken her own life. But my thinking has changed from "Impossible!" to ""Well...maybe..."

A poster above mentioned Leanne Bearden. She went missing and was later found to have taken her life. She and her husband had just returned from a lengthy dream trip. Leanne appears happy in the photos documenting the trip. They returned to Texas to start a new chapter. Leanne had a phone interview scheduled one afternoon, said she going out for a walk but would return in time for the call - then didn't. We have no way of knowing if her friends and family ever figured anything out in hindsight. But, at least at the time, it was utterly baffling to them.

 

[TTF14]

No, like someone exposed someone they loved or seriously threatened their security. Just examples and not applicable to this specific case.

Not applicable? Why mention it? Still confused.

 

[Sun009]

I used to work for a company that sells cremation jewelry/urns for people and pets. Sometimes you would take calls, that you could never have prepared yourself for. One woman in AZ was having her 11 year old daughters bodied exhumed, b/c her daughters rapist/killer was getting out of prison and she was beyond mad at her home state and she did not want her buried in AZ ground, so she wanted to have her cremated & her ashes infused in glass. Then I might take a call where a persons loved one had committed suicide by gun, and its no information we ask for, and they don't have to tell us, but their pain & hurt is so real, that they just do..

I got to hear a wide variety of stories of how someones loved one passed. And me being in my 20's, I carried those tradegies home with me, and if it was on a Friday, I wasn't going to be enjoying it fully. You just realize how you can't prepare for everything that is going to happen and how much life I really haven't experienced. I liked that job, but you can feel how deep peoples pain is over the phone, b/c its very real and genuine. I'd be lying if I said, that never caused me to think differently or that life seemed too depressing, therefore I feel depressed. Things can change the way you think, if something had an effect on you. Good or bad, if there was an effect, it had now effected a part of you.

So something could have effected Cheryl or she just didn't do this.

 

[Yvettea]

I'm sorry for the confusion. I was trying to ask Stryker if he could see his mother become devastated if she received some terrible news or information. Did he see that in her temperament?

 

[AzPistonsGirl]

A poster above mentioned Leanne Bearden. She went missing and was later found to have taken her life. She and her husband had just returned from a lengthy dream trip. Leanne appears happy in the photos documenting the trip. They returned to Texas to start a new chapter. Leanne had a phone interview scheduled one afternoon, said she going out for a walk but would return in time for the call - then didn't. We have no way of knowing if her friends and family ever figured anything out in hindsight. But, at least at the time, it was utterly baffling to them.

If I recall correctly, it was revealed AFTER Leanne was found that she indeed had been dealing with some depression. I think the family hadn't made that public, or perhaps only one person knew... But yes, she took a huge trip, and had an interview scheduled for that very day, so a lot of folks said no way, she couldn't have committed suicide because she had plans, etc.

makes me sad to think of Leanne again. Like with Cheryl, we get to know things about people here, and we start to like them... and them sometimes, that's it.

if justice is due, may it come quickly. If understanding is needed, may that come easily as well. hugs to all.

 

[anonymess]

On the suicide theory, it can be so tricky to see in someone - for example, this symptom seems like it would show someone is doing better...

"Positive mood change.*Just before a suicide attempt, when the individual has made the decision to kill herself, she may appear much calmer, happier and more relaxed. That's because she is no longer in turmoil. Suicide seems like the "perfect solution." As one survivor remembers:*"Got in the car, elated, very happy because I was going to end the pain. I'm going to end the pain. I was going to go the bridge and I was going to jump."*Often, family and friends become less worried about the person at risk. It is important to notice these mood shifts and not to be fooled by them."
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/200906/suicide-the-warning-signs

"A close friend of one of my colleagues committed suicide last week. It happened as so many suicides do—out of the blue. A few days earlier, my colleague had spent the day hanging out with her friend, who was relaxed, upbeat, and normal."
http://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/suicide-often-not-preceded-by-warnings-201209245331

Its possible (of course this is just my speculation) the vacation was viewed as a final opportunity to create a positive memory; the cat a way to console a grieving partner; car fixed and ready to go for sale; maybe even some gifts for others through Amazon (Stryker hasn't mentioned what they were, I'm just showing a possible perspective). That said, this angle could be bunk as suicide can be an impulsive act too as the links above mention.

 

[TTF14]

I'm curious how those who are convinced this is murder how precisely they think the murder was carried out with no defensive wounds, bruising, etc.? (I'm assuming none of this based on reports and not reading the autopsy report, so just my opinion for now).

I don't see how a body could be disposed of (presumably thrown/tossed) into a culvert/down a little bank with no evidence of contusions/bruising, and the bag staying on the head.