WA WA - Shantina Smiley, 29, & Azriel Carver, 8 (fnd deceased), Olympia, Mar 2010 - #3

[LogicalMinds]

Thanks, and for your added remarks. Yes, one would think her fiance would have done the driving, accompanied them, shared the burden of the stress, given her history... Even if he had a scout program planned, they might have worked around it, it was only a trip of 2 hours. Yes, the little boy was just this innocent angel, on a ride to nowhere. Heart-breaking, in the extreme.....

Ahh....but the alcoholic holds other swords over your head...

"How dare you, you have no faith in me, you don't believe me, I told you I am not going to drink, If you don't believe me I might as well drink, you are smothering me, I am working my program how dare you question me, you are the reason I drank in the first place, with a jerk like you anyone would need a drink, I have been sober for (x time) and now you are questioning me?? How dare you....you don't really love me...if you loved me you would trust me...
give me my room to do this, give me space, don't box me in or I might need a drink then...I spoke to my sponsor she said you should let me go alone, you make me feel like a child , I am a loving responsible mother, give me some credit, if you smother me you will make me drink, if you love me trust me, I love you and I won't drink I promise, I don't even want a drink, I will never drink again and I promise, i pinky swear, I swear on my mother's grave, I will swear on the bible, LET ME ALONE YOU JERK"

AND SO IT GOES

AND MUCH MORE

I HOPE HE AND HIS KIDS GET HELP AND COUNSELING

 

[floridaheather]

http://www.kitsapsun.com/news/2010/mar/23/investigators-following-leads-case-missing-silverd/

 

[floridaheather]

Ahh....but the alcoholic holds other swords over your head...

"How dare you, you have no faith in me, you don't believe me, I told you I am not going to drink, If you don't believe me I might as well drink, you are smothering me, I am working my program how dare you question me, you are the reason I drank in the first place, with a jerk like you anyone would need a drink, I have been sober for (x time) and now you are questioning me?? How dare you....you don't really love me...if you loved me you would trust me...
give me my room to do this, give me space, don't box me in or I might need a drink then...I spoke to my sponsor she said you should let me go alone, you make me feel like a child , I am a loving responsible mother, give me some credit, if you smother me you will make me drink, if you love me trust me, I love you and I won't drink I promise, I don't even want a drink, I will never drink again and I promise, i pinky swear, I swear on my mother's grave, I will swear on the bible, LET ME ALONE YOU JERK"

AND SO IT GOES

AND MUCH MORE

I HOPE HE AND HIS KIDS GET HELP AND COUNSELING

Somehow I doubt this scenario. IMHO they drank together. I will send you a PM as to why...

 

[trigger]

She probably poured it into an empty water bottle or coke can, etc. Or, maybe brought a travel cup from home....I think she started her deathly drinking before she left....Az never had a chance. At least she didn't plow into some innocent drivers and kill them, also.

Yes I guess she could have used a travel cup or water bottle. If she did start drinking early wouldn't she be totally wasted by then? People would have known I think. Well forget what I just said. She was wasted. She fell, hit the curb, damaged her car, forgot her food she bought etc. So so sad for this little guy.

 

[RubyRed]

Investigators 'Following up Leads' in Case of Missing Silverdale Woman

Thurston County Sheriff's detectives are still "following up leads" in an effort to find Shantina Smiley, but are not conducting any searches for the missing Silverdale woman.

Read more: http://www.kitsapsun.com/news/2010/...ing-leads-case-missing-silverd/#ixzz0j2JBqCw2

http://www.kitsapsun.com/news/2010/mar/23/investigators-following-leads-case-missing-silverd/

 

[floridaheather]

She probably poured it into an empty water bottle or coke can, etc. Or, maybe brought a travel cup from home....I think she started her deathly drinking before she left....Az never had a chance. At least she didn't plow into some innocent drivers and kill them, also.

For that matter, who needs a cup? Just a little jug & her. And if she did pour it into something, that water bottle would have been perfect b/c she had purchased (in the one video you can see it pretty clearly) a white wine.

 

[jmarple]

Thinking logically or thinking about what you or I might do or a rational person would do just does not apply once they pick up a drink

The alcoholic affects those that love them.....the fiancee and her son probably did not have the "recovery" and "tools" afforded by meeting with other family members who are "working the program".....many loved ones are just as sick as the alcoholic themselves

The loved ones live in a state of hope and fear and denial. AFTER AWHILE THEY EVEN MAY BEGIN TO BELIEVE THE OFTEN RESENTFUL ACTIVE ALCOHOLIC WHO WILL BLAME THEM

They walk on eggshells and tippy toes.....afraid to anger the alcoholic, afraid that they may indeed be to "blame".....it is a sick cycle

So true, so true, speaking from personal experience, especially the walking on eggshells!!

 

[floridaheather]

That's incredibly rude. If you want to have a private conversation, have a private conversation. If you want to join the public discussion, join the public discussion. Don't post publicly that you're having a private conversation.

I didn't mean to be. I was alerting him to check his messages. I was something that I had posted to the forum before, but then was alerted to the fact that it was probably not appropriate for the public forum. Sorry you took it that way, again.

 

[Miss Optimism]

I just really don't understand the point of he "could have, should have" blah blah blah. He is not a suspect in this case and I think he shouldn't be picked apart. Think about what he's going through! I don't understand the lack of compassion here!

WHY isn't the blame being put on HER instead? You know, the person that caused the death of her son? I have seen more badgering of him than her. That's crazy! Why not blame her whole family while we're at it?

I'm just frustrated with the blaming of other family members other than the alcoholic. If she was that unable to take care of herself and her son, she should be in an institution. You can't prevent someone from driving, you can't control people. Taking keys away from someone who is drunk is one thing but saying they can't drive because they got a DUI three years ago?

ETA: Unless we hear otherwise, he is a victim of a horrible tragedy. Blaming the victim is only further victimizing him.

 

[jessigirl]

If the doors on the van open remotely, are they opened with a remote that is carried on a key chain or from inside the van. I know some of the newer models come with the key chain remote. Could it possibly be that water might have shortened out the wiring causing those doors to come open?

My other thought is in looking at the picture of the van's windshield I see where the sand is up on it but it also looks as if someone turned on the wipers after the sand got on there. Wouldn't the tide have washed it off?

This is EXACTLY the situation that I hhave come to the conclusion would be the most logical and probable. therefore it answers all of our questions as to when? Didnt make sense it was during high tide because water pressure I would think make it difficult to open any of the doors that "opened up". And like wise it didnt make sense that they would fall asleep or even just be sitting in the car, with keys out of ignition, meaning no heater on. In 32 degree temps?? Just didnt add up. But the quote above.especially part I hve bolded, answers all of those questions, does add up, and is the most logical. Which is leading me more towards thinking they left the vehicle and were on beach possibly attempting to go for help..

 

[Mom_of_M&M]

That's incredibly rude. If you want to have a private conversation, have a private conversation. If you want to join the public discussion, join the public discussion. Don't post publicly that you're having a private conversation.

Now that's exactly why I don't post and usually lurk. WOW.:waitasec:

 

[Jani]

I just really don't understand the point of he "could have, should have" blah blah blah. He is not a suspect in this case and I think he shouldn't be picked apart. Think about what he's going through! I don't understand the lack of compassion here!

WHY isn't the blame being put on HER instead? You know, the person that caused the death of her son? I have seen more badgering of him than her. That's crazy! Why not blame her whole family while we're at it?

I'm just frustrated with the blaming of other family members other than the alcoholic. If she was that unable to take care of herself and her son, she should be in an institution. You can't prevent someone from driving, you can't control people. Taking keys away from someone who is drunk is one thing but saying they can't drive because they got a DUI three years ago?

I so totally agree with this.

And I would like to add that I am not 100% sure there was not "foul play" by a third person. There in no proof of anything as yet. What bothers me the most is the beach location. I do not believe she had been there before as the home owner seemed to be very protective of that beach and would not put up with trespassers.

How many of us would have entered that private driveway (even in day time) and accessed that beach? I know I wouldn't have, because it is so obvious that it not a public beach.

 

[Miss Optimism]

The following is from a post that Salem, one of the moderators, put on another thread but applies here also:

I know we have a lot of newbies here - and welcome to you all.

Records may be public, but posting them on WS is not acceptable when a person has not been named as a POI or Suspect. But never personal information on the victim's family unless LE or the MAIN stream media have reported that the family is a POI or suspect. Also, MINORS are always off limits unless they are the suspect - and that is a case by case basis, with Mod approval.

Remember that Mackenzie's family are all victims of this horrible crime. There has been NOTHING to tie them to the crime except speculation. We don't have the information that LE has. Putting such info out there on a public forum is hurtful. Yesterday we had 15 thousand visitors to this Website. That is 15 thousand - not 15 hundred - visitors, which doesn't include our members. That's a lot of folks reading information that has NO bearing on the case at this point in time.

Hope that helps everyone to understand.

Salem

 

[RubyRed]

A map that shows all the stops and where Azriel ended up, gives an idea of all the islands in the area.


http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?hl=e...74527&spn=0.163567,0.377655&z=11&source=embed

 

[*Intrigued*]

I just really don't understand the point of he "could have, should have" blah blah blah. He is not a suspect in this case and I think he shouldn't be picked apart. Think about what he's going through! I don't understand the lack of compassion here!

WHY isn't the blame being put on HER instead? You know, the person that caused the death of her son? I have seen more badgering of him than her. That's crazy! Why not blame her whole family while we're at it?

I'm just frustrated with the blaming of other family members other than the alcoholic. If she was that unable to take care of herself and her son, she should be in an institution. You can't prevent someone from driving, you can't control people. Taking keys away from someone who is drunk is one thing but saying they can't drive because they got a DUI three years ago?

ETA: Unless we hear otherwise, he is a victim of a horrible tragedy. Blaming the victim is only further victimizing him.

I completely agree. She was a grown woman, her boyfriend cannot be held responsible for her every move/mistake.

 

[RubyRed]

I just really don't understand the point of he "could have, should have" blah blah blah. He is not a suspect in this case and I think he shouldn't be picked apart. Think about what he's going through! I don't understand the lack of compassion here!

WHY isn't the blame being put on HER instead? You know, the person that caused the death of her son? I have seen more badgering of him than her. That's crazy! Why not blame her whole family while we're at it?

I'm just frustrated with the blaming of other family members other than the alcoholic. If she was that unable to take care of herself and her son, she should be in an institution. You can't prevent someone from driving, you can't control people. Taking keys away from someone who is drunk is one thing but saying they can't drive because they got a DUI three years ago?

ETA: Unless we hear otherwise, he is a victim of a horrible tragedy. Blaming the victim is only further victimizing him.

bbm

Well said, she is responsible for his death. She alone made the fateful decisions.

 

[RubyRed]

I so totally agree with this.

And I would like to add that I am not 100% sure there was not "foul play" by a third person. There in no proof of anything as yet. What bothers me the most is the beach location. I do not believe she had been there before as the home owner seemed to be very protective of that beach and would not put up with trespassers.

How many of us would have entered that private driveway (even in day time) and accessed that beach? I know I wouldn't have, because it is so obvious that it not a public beach.

bbm

She was more than likely intoxicated, so her decision making was very impaired. You take more risks,your judgement is not good. She is a good example of the consequences and the effect of driving drunk.

 

[pghbrandi]

I have a question and I am sure it was probably brought up and I missed it. If she did leave the beach in a different car, wouldn't that cause the dogs to lose her scent?

 

[Miss Optimism]

bbm

She was more than likely intoxicated, so her decision making was very impaired. You take more risks,your judgement is not good. She is a good example of the consequences and the effect of driving drunk.

Great point, I agree. Maybe this whole tragic situation can be used as an example in an drunk driving program or something. It would bring some comfort to her family I'm sure if some kind of positive outcome came out of it.

 

[SheWhoMustNotBeNamed]

Now that's exactly why I don't post and usually lurk. WOW.:waitasec:

is a mod. I believe, with that post, he was trying to explain exactly why saying "check your PMs" is not allowed. (, not trying to put words in your mouth...errrr...letters in your post? That's just what I got out of it.)

It can make other posters feel left out and lead to unnecessary distractions. It's okay to PM other posters, just not to talk about it. (Plus, it's like sending someone an e-mail, and then calling them to say, "Did you get my email?") And it is against WS-TOS, after all.