belimom
Speak the truth even if your voice shakes~M.Kuhn
- Joined
- Jul 17, 2008
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The audio was almost exactly one year ago. She was about three. I don't think she was being coached. I think she was definitely upset. But mom kept saying things directly in front of the child that would be the opposite of reassuring. She never reassured the child at all and the child stopped screaming and listened carefully every time her mom spoke.
The mom said, "Well, she's upset because you hit me and she remembers that."
"She's upset because you kept her from me for seven months. She thinks she will never see me again."
"[M] says "so and so" is mean to her at your house."
The child was quiet each time she said those things. Mom kept a hold of her. She should have told the daughter, "Listen, you will have a great time with Daddy and you will see me in two days. You will come back and I'll be here but daddy wants to see you too, okay?" Then she should have handed her over to dad quickly. "I'll see you soon sweetheart! You'll have fun!" The point is to make your child comfortable, not traumatized.
I totally agree. I believe that the poor little girl probably has no idea how she really feels about her dad b/c her mother has been manipulating the situation for so long.
I'm a School Psychologist, and in grad school I took a counseling class in family dynamics. I read a research paper called Roadmap To Schizoland - about how you can take someone with the genetic predisposition for schizophrenia and put them in two different environments - and get two different outcomes. One where the person would more than likely not develop schizophrenia, and the other where self-doubt, invalidation, and "crazymaking" basically shoved the person down the path towards schizophrenia. We also saw several videos of vignettes with different family dynamics... that eerily sounded alot like that audio clip.