I haven't seen anyone here either defend or ignore SM's actions. I think the majority of us were shocked and outraged. Sky could so easily have died then. There is a difference though in how the instances are weighed in my opinion.
You have two parents who make a horrible, stupid, selfish and neglectful decision. They are ordered to parenting classes and punished for breaking the law. One parent seemingly has learned from this experience and has openly expressed remorse and regret while the other parent continues, despite past history, leaving her children unattended.
We never know everything that goes on in any marriage but in my opinion women can most assuredly be controlling and abusive as well. I personally do not believe the abuse allegations made by JB...I want to give her the benefit of the doubt due to my own experiences but I just can't.
1. According to JB the battering did not begin until December of 2009. At this point they had been together for approximately 14 years. It is highly unusual for abuse to start this late into a relationship. Not impossible but definitely unusual.
2. This incident was not reported until Mom requested a protective order months later at the commencement of divorce proceedings.
3. Dad was cleared of all abuse allegations per his attorney.
4. I believe the overwhelming majority of spouses married to an abuser would move hell and high water to attempt to limit access of the abuser to the child. Yet JB requested through her attorney that SM regain custody of M rather than the state retain custody.
All JMO
Thank you for this excellent post. It sums up all that I think.
Where did you find this? In early threads, a few people discussed having read it and then I never heard anything again. In any case, everyone needs to read this nightmarish declaration. Horribly prophetic.
SM said in his declaration JB for a while lived with her mother (not her parents). I don't know where her father is, but I don't get the impression JB's parents are still together.
According to court records that someone found, her parents divorced when she was a teen, it appears. IIRC, in 1997. And she filed a declaration as a juvenile respondent. I'm sensing her parents' divorce might have been intense.
ITA. She'd be demanding her daughter not be placed with the husband if she believed those abuse stories.
That's right. And now that we read SM's dec., not only was she accusing the dad pf physical abuse, but of sexually abusing the daughter. And now she wants that same daughter to go with the dad? Clearly, she is a liar.
Clearly his attorney wrote that for him. IMO
Yes. So what? I write all of my client's declarations. That's why they hire attorneys. The process is this. They sit down with me and I have a pad. They vomit up a rambling, emotional mess of facts, thoughts, dates, etc. I ask them a ton of questions about anything significant. I then spend a few hours putting together everything they said in a chronological, readable manner, so the court will understand the facts and opinions of the client. Most clients do not have the ability to write a factual legal declaration and/or to step outside their own emotional chaos at the moment and make what they need to tell the court coherent, due to the overwhelmingly emotional nature of the proceedings. This is their life and they are often so flabbergasted, upset, scared that they cannot put it all together.
I have men and women in my office crying through these sessions, shaking hard, etc. It takes a long time to get the important facts together and keep them calm. Especially when it is a case as intense as Sky's parents. When my clients review their declarations before signing, they correct any facts I have wrong or any opinion that I understood incorrectly. They then sign it under oath, declaring that it is their testimony. They are often surprised that I am able to express what they wanted to say in a logical, powerful manner. People emotionally vested to a case usually cannot.
In any event, I would never make stories up to put into a declaration. I actually do not know an attorney that would. That's a major ethical violation and would be easily found out it a family law case.
BBM
My opinion only, however I believe JB may see the girl as an extension of herself, since her appearance does favor the mother. Sky, on the other hand, so closely resembles his father that he is the one who was expendable especially since he hasn't already been conditioned to disdain Solomon. Also, in her mind, taking Sky away from his father is the best form of revenge against him.
MOO
BINGO.
I agree with you. It's pretty obvious to me that he loved her very much, and probably still does to an extent; however, he KNEW she was spiraling out of control and needed to protect his children. It's a disgrace that NO ONE listened to him.
Having said that, I am left to wonder why he is not in custody of his daughter after a week.
Mom has had ten months to condition her daughter to fear and hate this man. And, he has not seen her for 10 months. I thought I read that CPS did not immediately give him custody as a result of him not having been in her life and were starting with supervised visitation. Poor kids.