I think I was around ten or eleven the first time I attempted suicide, and looking back on it, it probably was from the onset of hormones. (now, much later in life, I've been diagnosed with PMDD, which has lessened, but not gone away entirely, with a combination of birth control and antidepressants. I'm not actively suicidal the week before my period any more, at least!) I took a bunch of- probably ibuprofen, some kind of over the counter painkiller, when I was home alone. Nothing.... happened as far as I recall? I may have thrown up. I do remember later realizing the bottle was very expired, it was from my grandma's medicine closet, which may have contributed.
Point is.... obviously, due diligence should be done, but I just want to add another voice pointing out that we absolutely must consider the mental health of children even if we think they are too young to entertain such thoughts. And, as someone who has struggled with suicidal ideation, depression, etc, for years and years- suicide sometimes is impulsive like that, especially to a child. Every time I've attempted suicide or called a suicide hotline because I wanted to die, it wasn't something I had planned extensively. It just.... happened. A handful of pills as a little girl. Walking across a bridge on the way to work. Trying to drown myself on vacation, with airline tickets home for just two days later. On lunch break at work, and then I wiped my face and I fixed my makeup and I went right back in to do my work, and no one even noticed a thing. Don't think "oh, she's too young," or "oh, they're too cheerful and upbeat," or "oh, he has plans for later", because if this is something that overshadows a person's mind, sometimes it just... feels like too much.
My heart absolutely breaks for her, because I remember what that was like, and I live with the quiet fear that someday it will catch up to me and I will forget for ten minutes that I don't want to die. I can't say I would be SURPRISED if, tomorrow, they release an autopsy stating that foul play had happened, and that she did not write the note, but sometimes the most plausible solution is the easiest. I have never been kidnapped or murdered. I have, however, been a suicidal child. None of the potential autopsy results are good ones. But we cannot pretend the only dangers to the children are the ones lurking in cornfields, and not the ones that lurk in their minds.
