Would you lie in court to save your child? CLOSED FOR REVIEW

[kimmy1966]

Hi all

Just wanted to share something with you all...


I am 45 years old and I have nine year old daughter whom will be ten next month.

That was just a bit of backgound!

My parents are visiting this weekend and I happened to pose a question to them both but a few minutes apart. I will type my question that I asked them both separately and their responses.

Ok, same question at separate times: Mum/Dad Say if my daughter was 2 almost 3 (this is relevant as I was a widow at the time). If I murdered my daughter at that point in time because I was struggling with dealing with her and wanted to dispose of her because she was cramping my lifestyle etc.

Mum/Dad whom would you be defending? My daughter or me??? Shockingly neither answered the question. Even though they still spent quite a while deliberating.

Then I said to them both - I would hope that you would fight tooth and nail to defend my daughter and convict me!

Would love somne feedback on this, cos I am still shocked! Thanks guys and gals.

 

[kimmy1966]

Hey Mods

Please let me know if this is acceptable not or if I need to correct and embelish more. I think though it is relevant because of this case.
P.S. My Mum just was going to bed and I displayed my displeasure (not in a bad way of her non answer|). She replied that (nothing is cut & dried). Dad was snoring his head off -he is 82 and Mum is 75.








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[luvbug622]

Funny, I asked my mom the same thing. My Mom said she would do whatever she could to save me from the death penalty. By the way I am 51, my children are 24 and 22 and thankfully, have no children of their own yet. I said I would not lie to protect my child. Does that mean I'm heartless? If my child did something as bad as ICA I would not want any part of his/her life. My husband told me I would lie if it ever happened to me. So my thoughts are, I guess we will never know how we or our family would handle the situation as there is just NO WAY to know how we would really feel.

 

[4Jacy]

Funny, I asked my mom the same thing. My Mom said she would do whatever she could to save me from the death penalty. By the way I am 51, my children are 24 and 22 and thankfully, have no children of their own yet. I said I would not lie to protect my child. Does that mean I'm heartless? If my child did something as bad as ICA I would not want any part of his/her life. My husband told me I would lie if it ever happened to me. So my thoughts are, I guess we will never know how we or our family would handle the situation as there is just NO WAY to know how we would really feel.

I just think I'd kill myself and be done with it. I could not live knowing one of my children did that to one of my grandchildren.

 

[pjones]

I've thought about this as well, if this were my child or, alternatively, what my mom would do if I had done something like this. My mom and I are so much alike it's scary, so I think my response and hers would be identical: You love your children no matter what they do. However, I was raised to take responsibility for my actions. I would likely be telling my child (or, conversely, my mom would be telling me) to own up to what you have done, throw yourself on the mercy of the court and hope for a merciful sentence, and I'll be there for you. Unfortunately, in this case it appears that is not possible, since CA has spent her life running interference for ICA and a pattern of not having to take responsibility for her actions (ICA's actions, that is) has already been established. The level of dysfunction in this family is one for the case books and could be used as an example for parenting experts on how NOT to raise a child.

 

[Sevin]

My mother would tell the truth.

 

[crucibelle]

Without even asking my mom, I can tell you that there is no way in HE77 that she would lie for me to save me from the DP, if I killed one of her grandchildren. That said, my mom & I aren't very close, and have had problems my entire life (that I can remember).

 

[pferrin]

Just want to say after reading evidence and watching this trial..it is so refreshing to read your statements..shows me what a beautiful woman you are...it is difficult to imagine anyone defending the killer and not the murdered baby.

 

[lorann]

My Mother is no longer here but I assure you she would not lie for me. As a matter of fact, she would be so busy praying for my soul and encouraging me to do the same, she would not have time to engage in anything related to a trial.

 

[DeadCat]

I think this was a nice question and well-worded, but I'm not sure if we're allowed to talk about ourselves committing crimes, ie, lying to police (but it is hypothetical!)

I think women (mothers) especially are prone to feelings of guilt and I think what may happen in many cases is the mothers will feel like it was THEIR fault that their daughter killed their grandchild. The mother might think, "Why wasn't I there more" (i.e. sourse of LA's testimony and tears maybe?) or "Why didn't I help out or notice she was struggling" or "Why didn't I raise her to be more prepared for motherhood" or "Why didn't I encourage her to abort/adopt if that's what she'd said she wanted?" These feelings of guilt might play into a mother's choice to defend the daughter over the grandchild. (Not that the guilt feelings are necessarily justified...)

 

[tehcloser]

My Mom wouldn't have had time to lie for me.......she would have been to busy carrying out the death penalty part.

 

[wallflower67]

I just think I'd kill myself and be done with it. I could not live knowing one of my children did that to one of my grandchildren.

Isn't that what George tried to do?

 

[LeaBlueAt]

I just asked my mother the same question on Friday. She took a few minutes to respond and was bathing my dd at the time but she said she there is no way she would lie to save me from the dp especially if I had done something to her grandchild. She thinks that CA/GA/LA are the only people that can give Caylee a voice and make sure there is some justice for her death. MOMO (my own moms opinion!)

 

[kaRN]

Hi Kimmy1966!
Did you fill in all the details to your parents like the fact you'd been lying to them about your job and who the babys father was? Did you also explain that after killing your child, you'd tossed her like trash so you could party for 31 days and lied to them throughout that time about what a great time your child was having with the fake nanny? Did you add the fact that while you were having such a hard time coping, they were paying all your bills, feeding you and your child, housing you, providing you with an insured vehicle and babysitting daily?
Ask them again with all the details.
Sorry to hear about your husband. Stay strong Kimmy!

 

[AMMich]

After talking to my mother about how i felt Cindy was lying in the stand, my mother told me that she would lie on the stand for me. I assured her that I would never put her in that position but even now I am not sure how I feel about her saying that. I think 'death is different' and the threat of death may make the defendants family act in ways that go against their character to save what is left of their destroyed family.

 

[TxLady2]

Forget for a moment about the premise of lying under oath and put yourselves in their place. Casey is their daughter and they love her, why should they accept and endorse the fact that she could be put to death? I honestly don't think any of the A's believe that Casey is a cold hearted killer or that she did this on purpose. They are NEVER going to believe it. Ask yourself, if you were in their place, and you did not believe your daughter did this deliberately, would you be willing to lie to save her life?? I think when it comes down to the line, a lot of us might, even though we think we wouldn't. It's one thing to hold such lofty ideals, it's quite another to be faced with that decision. Could any of us readily sit behind that big window in the observation room and watch our child be strapped onto that gurney and a needle stuck in their arm... and watch them take their last breath... and not regret for a second that we refused to do anything possible to keep them alive? Would we feel that we were a better person for it? I think I would be pretty angry with myself at that moment and would be wishing I had at least tried to change the outcome.... IDK, but I don't think I would be proud of myself.
You know... to some people, lying is not a big deal. But this is a very serious situation, and it is not just about lying under oath... it's about saving their daughter's life. They cannot bring Caylee back... should they accept and understand that Casey will have to die?? It's a very, very hard choice to make, and IMO, I really don't think they should be judged until we have walked a few miles in their moccasins.
JMO

 

[SaltyTexan]

My oldest son was always a bit of a con as a teenager, I refused to lie or cover for him. He tried to lie to me many times but my ears are built in lie detectors, seriously, I can tell a lie but the most subtle voice inflection.

That being said, I don't know what I would do if his life were on the line.

Cindy covered for ICA way too many times prior to this horrible tragedy, lying became acceptable. Is she still doing it? It appears so.

When you tell rational lies, you rationalize.

 

[BeagleMom]

My mother, who possessed many of the characteristics of ICA, would have testified for the state (making up lies that she genuinely believed) to see me convicted.

However, that being said, the thing about mental illness is that you NEVER know what they will say. They change like chameleons. And they can be very convincing. She would have perjured herself, but only to garner more attention for herself. She would have made herself the victim, the only victim.

Needless to say. I did not maintain a relationship past the age of 18 and when she died (30 years later) I did not attend her funeral (neither did my brother).

Interesting thread!

Respectfully,
BeagleMom

 

[Solange82200]

I think what we need to realize is that most of us wouldnt be in that position to begin with. Most of our mothers would not have sat there and let us take charge of a child when it was obvious we have psychological problems to begin with. Cindy KNEW Casey lied about graduating, they KNEW she lied about working (sports authority is one example), they KNEW that she was irresponsible to an extreme, and KNEW she needed at the very least some sort of therapy. If I refused to work, stole and lied constantly my mom would have kicked me out of the house and raised my son as best she could on her own.

I was a single mom at 20 also living with my parents, and I HAD to work, had to find a way to buy my own car, and my mom was on my case about EVERYTHING I did with my son, even though I was a good mother, she was always looking out for my SON's best interest.

So I think it's kind of pointless to ask our parents these hypotheticals, because in most people's lives it would never even come to this situation. And like Karn said, there are alot of circumstances that add to the disgust of what happened here: not knowing who the father was (how could you not know the father of your baby??) the 31 days, partying, breaking her parents' hearts by promising Caylee would be home, stealing from everyone and anyone, etc. I would bet every cent I had that the majority of grandparents would never be in this situation because they would not turn a blind eye to the obvious problems that were there to begin with. There were signs, major signs of what was coming.

Oh yeah, and another pet peeve. How did they punish Casey for not working and stealing from the family??? They gave her a car and Cindy;s credit cards! Way to send a message! Here you go little thief, as punishment for not supporting your own child and stealing, take my Macy's AND jcpenney';s card... And dont do it again Missy!!!!!!

 

[txsvicki]

I don't think some people and even her own parents realize just how scary and dangerous she may be, or how long she'd possibly fantasized and plotted. Maligning her family for years telling all sorts of lies involving illness and evil just to manipulate others. She didn't stop at her family, but did things to her friends. Look what happened to Amy, a young man who had a check stolen, the young man who didn't like her for some reason, and the crazy outburst and public accusations of miscarrying a guy's baby. He supposedly didn't believe it, which is pretty serious. The elaborate lies, huge thefts and computer searches should scare the crap out of anyone who could ever cross paths with that woman. I think there's lots more to this than just a child cramping her style, but danger extends to everyone in contact, family and friends. We'll never know the real truth about probable credit cards taken out in Casey's parent's name, when the first real theft was discovered, or what she was supposedly doing with the money she earned. Probably told them she was saving for school or her own place. Changing stories on the stand may not even be the half of it.