First time posting (not sure I’m doing this correctly…)… I’ve had a lot of thoughts on these threads, but I’ve stayed an observer—finding that someone (almost always!) eventually says what I’ve been thinking, anyway.
Admittedly, like many others here, I’ve found it hard to keep up—and, admittedly, I’ve compensated by skipping (a lot!). So… Please forgive me if this thought has already been expressed:
I’ve seen multiple references to how the van’s disarray during the Moab stop represents the disconnect between SM persona/illusion and reality. My first thought when I saw it (zoomed in a still—my eyes and brain are too slow to have caught in the running video!), however, is that maybe BL trashed the place. Perhaps it became wrecked during BL’s reckless driving / “felony” speeding, but I am more inclined to think Deliberately Trashed. GP mentioned her “OCD” (her dad claims it was not meant literally; I have no idea, but if not literal, the term implies, in this situation, a “WANT” [as opposed to a “NEED”] that expresses standards of some sort)… She articulated her goal of cleaning/tidying as being one of the catalysts for the fight. If any of BL’s wrath was, in fact, connected with GP’s cleaning/tidying—might it not make sense that the utter disaster of a van we witnessed be the possible result of BL losing his $#%£ and tearing it apart before her eyes?
While messy can be totally normal (and functional!) for some people, this particular example, given all the context we’ve learned thus far, seems to point (IMO) to an ongoing dysfunction (like mental health)—or to an incident/outburst/reaction (in DA/DV, the aggressor often lashes out in whatever way is perceived to be extremely hurtful; if your target feels strongly about cleaning/tidying, then completely trashing the place achieves high impact!).
MOO, of course