You are Casey's Mom or Dad....

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I would try to save my daughter at first and have hope that she's telling the truth, but after the body was found, I think I would probably close off all connection to the media. I would try to distance myself. I'd give the grandchild a proper burial, and only say publicly that you hope justice is served .. then go on with my life, trying to forget ..
 
This case has made think about what I as a parent would do if my child were ever accused of a crime, any crime. I would like to think that I would advise them to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. But to be honest, I probably wouldn't. I would probably advise them not to talk to any inmates and to be honest with their lawyer.

Before my granddaughter was found I would probably insist on knowing where she was and what happened to her. And I know how powerful that denial is, I would probably be the last to believe that my child could ever harm her child. And I would probably tell my child that I loved her, but didn't like her right now. And that until she came up with some real facts about where to find my granddaughter that I would be too busy looking for my granddaughter to come and see her, as her child was who needed me right then. And that my money was earmarked for the search for my granddaughter so I wouldn't be able to provide her any assistance- unless or until she gave facts that helped to locate her. And yes, I would probably court the media to keep my grandchild's story in the news. I would hope though that I would be smart enough to refuse to answer questions about my child, to say no comment to guilty or innocent, and to refuse to answer anything about the health of my grandchild except to say that I was hoping with everything I had that she was alive.

After I found out that my grandchild was dead, to be honest I don't know. I would be a basket case. Probably I would have to tell my child that I needed some time apart to get control of myself. And that anything that I didn't know by that point, that I didn't want to be told. Because I didn't want to be in a postion to testify against her if I didn't have to. But if I had to, I would and I would be honest. And for her not to blame me for that, because she was the one who put me in that position. After my grandchild was found, I would most likely shun the media. And if my child gave info about the location, I would probably give some money for the commissary. Maybe just a little, but something.

My child is my child and I love them. But I believe you can love them without liking what they do. I would need time to come to terms with it, but eventually I would want to see my child again. It would hurt, but she would still be my child.

Very well put, I would do the same thing. This could be similar to what Cindy did.
 
This case has made think about what I as a parent would do if my child were ever accused of a crime, any crime. I would like to think that I would advise them to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. But to be honest, I probably wouldn't. I would probably advise them not to talk to any inmates and to be honest with their lawyer.

Before my granddaughter was found I would probably insist on knowing where she was and what happened to her. And I know how powerful that denial is, I would probably be the last to believe that my child could ever harm her child. And I would probably tell my child that I loved her, but didn't like her right now. And that until she came up with some real facts about where to find my granddaughter that I would be too busy looking for my granddaughter to come and see her, as her child was who needed me right then. And that my money was earmarked for the search for my granddaughter so I wouldn't be able to provide her any assistance- unless or until she gave facts that helped to locate her. And yes, I would probably court the media to keep my grandchild's story in the news. I would hope though that I would be smart enough to refuse to answer questions about my child, to say no comment to guilty or innocent, and to refuse to answer anything about the health of my grandchild except to say that I was hoping with everything I had that she was alive.

After I found out that my grandchild was dead, to be honest I don't know. I would be a basket case. Probably I would have to tell my child that I needed some time apart to get control of myself. And that anything that I didn't know by that point, that I didn't want to be told. Because I didn't want to be in a postion to testify against her if I didn't have to. But if I had to, I would and I would be honest. And for her not to blame me for that, because she was the one who put me in that position. After my grandchild was found, I would most likely shun the media. And if my child gave info about the location, I would probably give some money for the commissary. Maybe just a little, but something.

My child is my child and I love them. But I believe you can love them without liking what they do. I would need time to come to terms with it, but eventually I would want to see my child again. It would hurt, but she would still be my child.



:blowkiss:What a great and honest post so true we love our kids and would find it very hard to think they are capable of such a thing
 
Very well put, I would do the same thing. This could be similar to what Cindy did.

Except it doesn't appear that Cindy ever quite got to the point where she told her that future visits and commissary money depended on KC providing facts that would lead to finding Caylee. And it appears she may have done other questionable things too. And I don't think I would go that far, to do questionable things to protect my child. I think that would make me feel like I had participated in the murder of my grandchild.
 
I just kept wanting GA to ask "WHY DID YOU CAR SMELL LIKE THAT? DIDN'T YOU SMELL IT? WHAT WAS IT? HOW DID IT GET THERE?"

Even if KC would spin with the squirrels or whatever I would have kept at it.

As for the parenting. That's is wherein this whole problem started. This visit was very telling. GA and CA completely dropped the ball. Adolescent behavior - teen angst - teenage rebellion - call it what you will. We all go through it and out kids go through it - some have it easier than others - but it is there. I went through it with my son and now have a 14 yr old daughter. IT IS TOUGH - IT IS HARD. But you have to stand your ground and do whatever you have to to get through to them. GA and CA quit parenting when this stage came along. Too hard for 'em. The behavior from KC on this tape reeks of a "pissed off, all about me, teenager" who has gotten caught or in trouble for something and now has to "come clean and take her licks". SHE NEVER DID BEFORE - NEVER HAD TO - had a mommy that ignored it and a daddy that was so gullible she never had to "rebel" - he would see that his "gorgeous, beautiful, sweetie" got whatever she wanted or got OUT of whatever she did.
 
I want to share this with you guys. My husband left the bed and went to sleep upstairs b/c I was listening to Casey's jail-cell video. He is fed-up - she's guilty...off to jail she goes. I must say - I have the sweetest , most loving, South GA parents around, and they would NOT handle me like that!!!! They NEVER ask her a direct question and pass the phone back and forthl bull****!! Call her out on her inconsistencies!
 
What I would do different: assuming I am CA and KC is my daughter.

1. As a Nurse, I would have recognized my daughters manipulative, pathological lying, sociopath behavior early on and sought counciling for the both of us. I would not use her diagnoises as an excuse to accept her behavior and let her get away with it..then neatly sweep it under the rug as CA has done for years.

2. I would have never forced my irresponsible, sociopath daughter to have and raise a child, she made clear she did not want.

The other questions would not apply at this point, if answers 1 & 2 were followed through.

I am so very thankful that I am blessed with a daughter who is an awesome Mother to my 4 granddaughters, as well as an awesome daughter whom I also consider my best friend. And honestly...if my son ever brought home the likes of KC, I would have him commited immediately!!! LOL
 
I've actually thought about this subject a lot, it's one of the things that churns in my mind the most. Especially when I look at my 3 y/o and wonder how she'll turn out, what will she grow up to be, will I have been a good enough parent.

I do want to toss something out here for you to chew on, this thought came to me early on.

Nobody raises their child to be a murderer.

With the A's, I think their whole family dynamic created this monster and you can see it still playing out.

If KC were my daughter....I wouldn't have tolerated the lying and deception at all, from the day she was born, absolutely not. I hate liars and I can tell when someone is lying just as plain as day.

I would never have gone more than 24 hours without knowing the location and well being of granddaughter, especially since she was living in my house and I was financially supporting her.

If my daughter could not produce my granddaughter within a short period of time, the search for them both would have begun immediately. I also wouldn't hesitate to get LE involved if necessary.

Once I did get a hold of my daughter and listened to the lies she was spewing and the decomp smell in her car, she would have needed an ambulance and I would have needed a lawyer. But the bottom line would have been, I would have gotten the truth out of her one way or another.

If the evidence pointed to the fact that my daughter did this horrendous crime, I wouldn't stop loving her, but I would wholeheartedly support LE's investigation and I would want to see her properly punished, even if it meant never seeing her again. I could never live with myself if I helped acquit my guilty daughter.

On some level I do feel sorry for GA and CA but they've created this monster, they let the monster get this big, they're going to have to deal with the consequences this monster brought upon them. I can't stand liars and I can't stand spin. Justice for Caylee, that's what I'd want.
 
If my daughter could not produce my granddaughter within a short period of time, the search for them both would have begun immediately. I also wouldn't hesitate to get LE involved if necessary.

Once I did get a hold of my daughter and listened to the lies she was spewing and the decomp smell in her car, she would have needed an ambulance and I would have needed a lawyer. But the bottom line would have been, I would have gotten the truth out of her one way or another.

This is what I don't understand about CA. She was so involved with Caylee, how in the world did she let her whereabouts not be known for 31 days?? GA already suspected she wasn't working, CA had to have had her suspicions as well. Not to mention this disappearance was on the heels of KC stealing from her grandparents!! And they knew what a liar she was starting with her denying her pregnancy & her virginity. I just wonder when CA was involved with this whole thing. I always believed she came to the realization during the 911 calls--you could hear the desperation in her voice, but it just doesn't add up!!
 
If I were CA, this tragedy never would have happened because I would have paid much more attention to my daughter's habitual lying. When the words came out of my mouth, "she's a sociopath", I would have meant it, and would have been demanding she get help. If she refused, I would have let LE arrest her for whatever stealing she had done at that point.
 
I would do all the right things- cooperate with LE, try to extract the truth from my daughter. I would probably try a dozen different things to get the truth- ranging from threats to bargaining to bribery.

When the time came for trial, I would cooperate fully with SA and tell the truth on the witness stand. And through all of that I would tell my child I love them regardless, but that she has consequences to face. And after conviction I would continue to visit my daughter.

And I would do all of this without pandering to or abusing the media and general public.

I would limit my public statements for pleas for my grandchild's safe return and for information that might help to find her.

And after the body was found, I would have made a statement expressing the sorrow of my family, the thanks for the public support, and my eternal gratitude to the person who found my grandchild. Maybe a follow up a few days later thanking the public for the memorials.

I would have done everything I could to prevent the circus the Anthonys have built.
 
SNIP

I would have adopted Caylee at birth.

And if Casey refused to release Caylee for adoption, I would have enrolled my little grand baby in Day Care and found some way to pay for it. After seeing Casey in the August 14th video, I would have never, ever, ever have left anything vulnerable in her "care".
 
I am so thankful that I am NOT her parent. I cannot even imagine that the creature sitting in that jail cell is my child. She is so selfish and centered only on "poor Casey" that I am sure if she were my child I would vomit every time I thought about her and what she has done.
 
I would work closely with LE, stressing that I wanted the truth to be found no matter what. I would ask LE to set me up with the very best FBI profilers, I'd provide them all info they wanted. I would research to find the best psychologist in the U.S. for working with sociopaths, meet with them, provide all info. I would pay for the psychologist to work with the FBI profilers, LE, all info they had, all info I (and family and friends) could provide them, to develop a set of questions I could ask my daughter.

I would ask the psychologist and the profilers to coach me on how to ask the questions, what tone of voice, what facial expressions, what body language I should use, IOW how to ask the questions to give the very best chance of getting more info from my daughter to find out what happened. For my own personal reasons, I would ask them to also help me determine *why* it happened.

It would be agony, but I would have to work to find out what happened.

I'd find out from the profilers and the psychologist whether my daughter would kill again, how much damage she would cause other people, and I would then work with LE, SA, and my daughter's attorney for LWOP if she would damage others. I believe every sociopath causes extensive damage to others, and can not by age 22 be helped not to, so I don't think I would try to get a reduced sentence. I'd just want her contained.

Then I'd visit her occasionally, write to her once a week, try to provide what she needed (not wanted). And I'd cry a lot and go into therapy and maybe go back to school for something to distract me from the hell I'd be living in.
 
I would never have gone more than 24 hours without knowing the location and well being of granddaughter, especially since she was living in my house and I was financially supporting her.


There are SO many things that I would have done differently, starting from when KC was a child, however, putting those aside....

If I was in the EXACT situation as C and Caylee had been gone with KC for that long, murder would not have been in my thoughts at all. I would have assumed that KC was being a spiteful b!tch and punishing me because of the fight we had had on the 15th. I'm sure this wasn't the first time KC "punished" her mom for something. And, in C's mind, KC was probably just being vindictive and making her "pay" for the fight the day before. I'm sure C never in a million years thought that the payback would involve the murder of her beautiful grandchild. So, it doesn't surprise me that C didn't freak out right away and demand answers. After all, C had been naughty and had been put in "time out" from seeing her grand-daughter. Until C could learn to behave like a proper mommy, she would continue to be punished.

Edited to add: I'm sure this is what keeps C up at night. If only they hadn't fought on the 15th...if only she hadn't lost her temper....if only she had looked for Caylee sooner.... She will be beating herself up for that for years, I would imagine. Although, looking for Caylee sooner wouldn't have changed anything IMO. I think Caylee was dead almost right away.
 
I would Google "Truth Serum", make my own and give that girl a dose or 8. LOL.
 
I would work closely with LE, stressing that I wanted the truth to be found no matter what. I would ask LE to set me up with the very best FBI profilers, I'd provide them all info they wanted. I would research to find the best psychologist in the U.S. for working with sociopaths, meet with them, provide all info. I would pay for the psychologist to work with the FBI profilers, LE, all info they had, all info I (and family and friends) could provide them, to develop a set of questions I could ask my daughter.

I would ask the psychologist and the profilers to coach me on how to ask the questions, what tone of voice, what facial expressions, what body language I should use, IOW how to ask the questions to give the very best chance of getting more info from my daughter to find out what happened. For my own personal reasons, I would ask them to also help me determine *why* it happened.

It would be agony, but I would have to work to find out what happened.

I'd find out from the profilers and the psychologist whether my daughter would kill again, how much damage she would cause other people, and I would then work with LE, SA, and my daughter's attorney for LWOP if she would damage others. I believe every sociopath causes extensive damage to others, and can not by age 22 be helped not to, so I don't think I would try to get a reduced sentence. I'd just want her contained.

Then I'd visit her occasionally, write to her once a week, try to provide what she needed (not wanted). And I'd cry a lot and go into therapy and maybe go back to school for something to distract me from the hell I'd be living in.


Very smart and best answer yet. I have a schizophrenic brother and I love him dearly, but it's tough dealing with him. Your comment on having to be coached on how to ask the right questions, the tone and facial expressions made me think of him and how I have to deal with him.

Kudos to you for a very well thought out and explained answer.
 
I like to look at it this way...If my child and I were drowning in a river, and my mom or dad raced to the riverbank, and they could either reach left and save me, or reach right and save my son....they would both reach right, because they know that's what I would want them to do...So if I were Cindy, I would have said in the beginning "I want one thing...I want my grandaughter home...you're lying about what happened and everyone knows it...I am meeting with the prosecutor in one hour, and by the time he's done with me, he's going to know every lie you ever told. I'm going to give him free reign over the house to search anything and everything...then I am going to go knock on every door in Orlando, I'm going to search every river, rock, and roadside until I find Caylee, and when I do, if you had anything to do with it, I am going to be the first one to raise my hand and testify against you..." My parents would have NEVER bought the "I was doing my own investigation for 31 days" bs...they would have known right then that something was waaaay wrong...
 

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