Thanks Mel, I don't share those experiences -ever, and it happened 20 years ago. But, emotions are a crazy thing. We form memories based on emotions, and mortal fear is the most emotional experience I've ever had. Although I'm far removed, and he's no longer a danger to me and has moved on - its been over for a long time and I CERTAINLY have not dwelled on it.
However, I want to explain this so you can make a distinction.
When she are shoved to the ground while holding your 13 month old son, and your husband punches your face so repeatedly that your brow bone is fractured and cuts your eye from the inside, out - THAT is domestic violence. When you see blood all over your baby and furiously start looking for injuries to him, only to realize 'its only your blood spatter' and you are relieved, THAT'S domestic violence. When your husband follows you to your parents house (where your siblings also live and the phone line has been cut) out in the deep country - and he then yells out that he's in the woods, and he's brought the rifle - then says come out, or I'll kill your family - THAT'S domestic violence. When you finally make it to a secret women's haven (shelter) and he finds you and you have to move 2 more times - THAT'S domestic violence.
And no, he didn't say PLEASE. But I argue that the fact that he didn't say please was NOT the definition of violence.
ALV did a disservice to both victims AND the perception of domestic violence. It's now about as worthless as the G in Lasagna - as so famously put.