JA has this ease and an air of nonchalance when testifying. There is absolutely no hint of the seriousness of her crime or her fate in her speech tones, affect or body language. She speaks with a rush of words that suggests she is manic.
Obviously she has no insight into the emotionality that normally attends such discussions. Her testimony and all her bizarre hand movements occur as if she is having a Saturday AM talk with her next door neighbor. Perhaps she regards the jury as her bosom buddies who believe every word uttered from her mouth. She does not readjust her testimony strategy for her it is full steam ahead.
We know JA is not mentally ill ie suffering from schizophrenia or manic delusions. We know she exemplifies an extreme case of a personality disorder characterized by narcissism. We know she represents a species of psychopathy.
Her behavior over the past several days implies she is probably delusional - ie delusions of grandeur.
She undoubtedly believes her lies are very clever and plausible. My hunch is that if some anointed one came along with whom JA would confide JA would proudly boast how convincingly she BS s here way through this trial. She would describe her various poses including the battered waif, the sobbing martyr, the sex slave, the obedient Mormon, and the helpful law abiding citizen. For her this trial is really an interesting contest that she thinks she can handily win like the Prison American Idol contest.
She has prepared and vetted the JA official explanation line since 2010 and has all facets of this story perfectly memorized. She strongly believes that she is able to convincingly connect all the dots in this case. She has carefully prepared all the elements of battered woman syndrome, and TA as sexual deviant. She thinks her explanations of all the seeming premeditation have been batted down. She is HOPEFUL that her perception of TA yelling kill you ***** coupled with the I was in MORTAL FEAR clears up her NEED to use force in the service of self-defense. The over-kill aspect is to be completely avoided due to her abrupt and complete LOSS OF MEMORY.
Consequently she is very pleased with herself and her performance. In the same vein I do not think she is UNAWARE that she is lying. I do not think she is delusional in so far as she TRULY believes her stories.
She is simply a cunning audacious psychopath who is self absorbed , who loves theatrics and who loves duping the unsuspecting.