2010.07.26 - Kyron Horman case featured on Dateline

[AvalonBlue]

To me her anger should all be directed at Kaine. He is the one that broke his oath to Desiree.

And yet she said through the years she thought Kyron had a good life with Terri and Kaine.

IMO

Maybe a piece of this is biological/psychological...

Although I never had a profound bond with my first husband (who was the father of my two children and really abusive to me) I've personally, and professionally, found that many women maintain an emotional bond with the father of their child that transcends the divorce, hard times, etc.

Also, psychologically, there seems to be this very interesting thing about "the other woman."

We women seem to understand other women so much more than men do. (No surprise, right, ladies?) Despite the "other woman" taking "our" man -- "our" man is still the father of the baby -- and was "lured" away by "another woman's wiles."

I'm not sayin' we shouldn't hold ex-husbands accountable for their behavior (and misbehavior.)

I'm just sayin' it must somehow, on some level, have something to do with the survival of the species. We don't want to "dis" the father of our children -- and in large part, I think, for the well-being of our children. Who wants to think/hear/believe that their father was a scoundrel? (Not that some women don't do this. And, when they do, it seems to mostly harm the kids.)

IMHO

 

[RR0004]

Dateline did a great job, overall. They clarified a few issues that many of us had and they worked with what they had. I was rather surprized that it was such DY and TY show, but then who else could have given that much info?
DY thought it odd that TH questioned her coming. I might have done the same thing TH did, knowing that it was a 4.5 hour drive and asked why she was coming now. I would have told her to wait because I wouldn't think that Kyron really could be lost -lost. (You know it never happens to you...).
I'd give it more time and keep her on a cell phone with one of us.

Carp....I'll start getting myself confused again. All I can think of right now is that I would have a conversation with my ex, his current, and then make some suggestions, like checking with friends, etc. Now, if the sec said "he hasnt been here all day", then I'd have a conversation with the teacher, then TH, as I was filling the car up with gas to head out, cuz I would just know in my heart that someone was LYING TO ME BIG TIME.

Perhaps the secretary viewing the situation as an "emergency", and having to make the requisite notification, set Desiree in motion.

 

[Sherbie]

Totally her fault too. It is immoral for a single woman to carry on a sexual relationship with a married man, and even more reprehensible when that married man has children or a pregnant wife.

Neither KH nor TH come out smelling like a rose in this situation. If either of them had said no, the affair would not have occurred.

I agree. I meant that as it relates to his responsibility to his wife. That is entirely his to uphold. I thoroughly agree that any woman who would have an have an affair with a married man (esp. one with a pregnant wife!) is deplorable. Definitely wasn't trying to absolve her of any blame...she's responsible for her actions, too.

 

[wondering1]

Maybe it is a woman to woman thing. What kind of woman would have an affair with a man whom she knows has a pregnant wife?

I do think it's a natural reaction to hold the woman more responsible. Not saying it's right or justified, but maybe woman are expected to have more empathy and higher moral standards, in general. Personally, I think they are both at fault, but KH more so since he is the one who was married to DY. How it reflects on TH depends on what she was told and what she knew, imo. However, given what I believe I know about TH at this point, it wouldn't surprise me if she knew exactly what she was doing, and possibly set about it with deliberation. jmoo

 

[goatman]

Forgive me goatman, I'm trying very hard to figure out where you are coming from here..
Was what known at that point? That TH was the last one seen with Kyron? I am wondering if you are thinking that be the reason why Desiree drove straight there?

I was trying to figure out why she would call TH first and not KH, and it was posited that it was because TH was the last one to see him.

I am trying to figure out whether or not, at the time of first phone call to TH from DY, what DY was told by the secretary (did she know that TH was the last one to see him, did she know that KH hadn't gone to the science fair).

If she asked if both KH and TH was there, and choose to talk to TH over KH, I am wondering why make that choice.

 

[RR0004]

I don't think this has become the Kaine is horrible thread, but everyone is saying that whatever needs to be done to bring Kyron home should be done. What if a key to this mystery lies in Kaine's behavior? Shouldn't his life and choices be taken into consideration? There are facts about Kaine that are a little disconcerting, IMHO, specifically with regard to the end of his relationship with Desiree, the RO, and his ignorance about his current life -- he was unaware of problems in his marriage, unaware if Terri still suffered from PPD, unaware if she was still taking medication, and the list goes on, from his own mouth.

What I know is that LE, DY, TY, KH and the media have been focused on Terri Horman for two months and yet Kyron has not been brought home. She may be guilty as sin, but a clue to why or how she did this may lie with her husband, the father of the child who is missing. It's not unreasonable to take a second look at him. Everyone is saying how Terri should lay herself bare, all the skeletons out of her closet, hold nothing back, and the forum operates on that assumption with regard to her -- discussing every nook and cranny of her life, diagnosing her, hypothesizing whether or not she loved the boy she'd mothered from infancy, and yet the life of the biological father should not be examined for clues? That's unfathomable to me.

She mothered Kyron from infancy? I'm confused now. I thought Desiree moved out and was the primary caregiver for the first two years of Kyron's life.

I agree...everything and everyone should be looked at...whatever it takes to bring Kyron home.

 

[cluciano63]

I just watched the show on tape, wasn't sure I was going to as I figured it had to be all one-sided since only one side was talking. I kind of felt that Kaine had cheated on Desiree and her bringing it out so plainly tells me she is still hurt by that and that to her, he was cheating, whatever Kaine said to try to make it better for him. The only reason I think it matters is that Kaine also said that Kyron cried when he had to go visit Desiree too and now it makes me wonder if that is true, or if he just can't stand having the public think badly of him. And it also makes me wonder, if he really believes it was ok to cheat with Terri, then maybe he is totally clueless when it comes to women and what is going on in their minds, even if he lives with them. And that could be very important to what happened to Kyron.

 

[RoughlyCollie]

Unpopular opinion ahead, but if Terri had nothing to do with Kyron's disappearance and assumed he'd wandered off or that there had been a mix-up but he would be found quickly, then it might make sense for Terri to wonder why Desiree would rush to Portland. This attitude actually supports the notion that Terri is innocent, IMHO, because she didn't automatically jump to worst case scenario, which she would've done if she'd known he was dead.

My then- 15 year old son did not get off the bus one day last year. I was alarmed because he has never missed being home when he is supposed to be. This is what I did:

1. I called the school several times and let the phone ring for a long time. No one answered.

2. I called my husband's office and cell phones. No one answered.

3. I dug out the post card I'd saved from the bus company and called them. They called the driver, who was already at home, and he said my son hadn't been on the bus.

4. I called the town police on their administrative line. They told me that the state police had jurisdiction over the school.

5. I called my husband's phones again. No answer.

6. Just as I was dialing the state police my husband drove up with my son. He had missed the bus, and neither of them thought to inform me.

Of course I automatically jumped to the worst case scenario! I am a mother! I also have self control, and handled the situation in a rational manner.

If #6 had not occurred, and the state police hadn't immediately located my son (their headquarters is across from the school), then I would have been in full panic mode.

So, for TH to assume that Kyron had just wandered off and would be found quickly, especially since he is only 7 years old, would have sent up big red flags for me.

 

[SuziQ]

The whole "he cheated" and "we were on a break/over" thing isn't important, IMO. What IS important is that we have verification that the TH/KH relationship began when DY was very, very pregnant. It DID NOT begin after TH so very kindly moved in with her friend DY's ex to take care of Kyron when he was a wee little baby. I've long suspected that story (as told by TH's friends/family) was utter and complete BS, but it's nice to have confirmation.

I'm not certain (not enough to convict if I were on a jury) that TH did something to Kyron. But I DO think that she's told more than a few stories to her family and friends that are outright lies...and, IMO, given the lack of lies (thus far, as far as I've seen), that is significant in regards to character/motivation.

ITA!!! Exactly!!!! And you betcha!!! The thank you button wasn't enough!
The point is that TH told so many people a story that painted herself better than a xxxxx. Gives me more understanding on why DY would say that TH hasn't been truthful for 7 years.

Imagine all those people TH lied to watching the truth come out tonight on Dateline. I suspect alot of people close to TH have been and will continue to experience this for quite awhile. I bet TH has always ended her converstations with...."But don't tell (so and so) I said anything".

 

[ZL27]

If Kyron is found safely (and god I hope so), I'm not sure changing the custody situation immediately is the best thing for him. He needs to have his routine and comfort zone back. Yanking him away from his dad, his friends, his teachers, his bedroom, etc. could do more harm than good.

 

[cluciano63]

As far as Desiree rushing to Portland...my husband works until 4am and one time I woke up around 5am and he was not home and I panicked and started dialing his cell and he did not answer and I was getting dressed to try to find him somehow, thinking he fell asleep driving, or whatever when he came in about 5:30. He had stopped to eat something and his phone was off. So if Desiree had not rushed to Portland, I would be shocked.

 

[Haeve]

I don't find it odd that in a very cold weather area that a parent who doesn't have custody would take til June to take a kid fishing. JMO

It's not "very cold" here, and Medford is even warmer and drier than Portland, but the weather *has* pretty much sucked until about three weeks ago. Usually we have some sun earlier in the spring.

 

[newone]

Maybe it is a woman to woman thing. What kind of woman would have an affair with a man whom she knows has a pregnant wife?

...one that you would pray none or your friends are:angel:

 

[RR0004]

BUT was it known at that point?

I believe it was...but until we have what the secretary said...it's anyone's guess.

 

[grandmaj]

We didn't hear anything about Kaine having an affair presently in fact he had denied it in an interview recently. Sooooo for the time being we aren't going to be the forum that might gossip about that. Let's get back to finding Kyron.....

 

[Steely Dan]

Hi SteelyDan, good question, and I honestly don't know the answer as there are too many unknowns at this time.

If TH is innocent, she should get her baby back.

But I also think that there should be other family members from TH's family involved with KH and making sure she's well cared for. They need to be involved in her life--a child needs love and support from all family members.

I also have another speculation about a potential plot, but even as far as we've all been plopped into Bizarro Land, I won't discuss that one--yet. But I think that there's still skeletons in various closets, and, as Emma pointed out, this skeleton didn't fall out of TH's closet.

Wouldn't be surprised if other closets had some bones rattling around in them, too.

My only problem with that is that the family may help her abduct the child. She's already the focus of a missing child investigation and it looks like she tried to hire a hitman to kill her husband. IMO, if she gets a hold of that kid right now she may run away.

Maybe it is a woman to woman thing. What kind of woman would have an affair with a man whom she knows has a pregnant wife?

I'm not excusing her at all!! But I blame him far more than her. She could have been told, as somebody mentioned above, a great many things about the marriage. HE is the one who needs to be supportive at all times during her pregnancy. JMO

 

[RoughlyCollie]

I still wonder if Kaine will be the next person "voted off the island". I expect TY & DY will seek custody if Kyron is returned. JMO

I think they will, too. I would, in their position.

 

[goatman]

If Kyron is found safely (and god I hope so), I'm not sure changing the custody situation immediately is the best thing for him. He needs to have his routine and comfort zone back. Yanking him away from his dad, his friends, his teachers, his bedroom, etc. could do more harm than good.

BUT (big big if coming) if TH were not involved wouldn't his routine already be shattered to pieces b/c his *seemingly* primary caregiver for 5 years is out of the home? And then what happens when he asks about her "oh, yeah, about that, we thought she had done something with you so I divorced her and got an RO."

^^^^^ I doubt it will happen (TH not being involved)^^^^^but at this point, if Kyron does come home and she isn't involved, that would be way, way awkward for the family, wouldn't it?:waitasec:

 

[grandmaj]

My daughter is an adult woman and when she has an emergency I board a plane and travel across the country to be with her. We know when something is wrong. Can't explain it just happens.

 

[mydailyopinions]

I was trying to figure out why she would call TH first and not KH, and it was posited that it was because TH was the last one to see him.

I am trying to figure out whether or not, at the time of first phone call to TH from DY, what DY was told by the secretary (did she know that TH was the last one to see him, did she know that KH hadn't gone to the science fair).

If she asked if both KH and TH was there, and choose to talk to TH over KH, I am wondering why make that choice.

My understanding is that the secretary told Desiree that Kyron was missing..Desiree asked if Kaine or Terri was there, and she was told that indeed Terri was there, so she called her. I truly do not think that Desiree realized that Terri was the last one who seen Kyron at that time