For me, this alternative lifestyle isn't about being "shocking" or "disgusting".
What I don't like about it for me is this: let's say I'm a highly competitive business woman & my hubby sends me pics of him with other women-- so I say "yeah, that's cool--now watch this"! And I go about upping the ante because I don't like being a wallflower or a victim. And so the power play dance begins with very complicated dance steps because there's rules--doncha' know.
So where does that stop?
For me there's a lot of blurred lines & navigational hazards. Actions often cannot be taken back or easily forgiven. It's a game that runs a high stake, imo.
How do you negotiate the power of influence, competitiveness, intimacy, control, and equity? The psychological components involved in the everyday maneuvers of that lifestyle with all the so called "rules" and what not would be too much to bear. For instance, is it ok to sleep w/the opposite sex or just one sex? Is it ok to sleep with the best friend, relative, or total stranger to the other partner? Is there a thrill in being discreet or do you video-tape it? Is there a secret agenda involved? Is your partner truly into that lifestyle or have they been manipulated, brainwashed, or intimidated into it **AND** how would you truly know?
I also believe that little private journeys into private mental fantasies are more powerful & easily dismissed (without repucussions & adverse effects) than reality.
I could care less about judging others who enjoy an alternative lifestyle. For me, marriage is tough enough without adding that powder keg into the mix. It would never work for me. Que sera, sera.
Moo