6-year-old boy suspended from school for kissing student on the cheek

[TrackerSam]

If the mom doesn't like the way her son is being treated (as long as he is being treated the same as every other child would be, in a similar situation), she should consider a different school, or homeschooling him.

And deny him the guilt and humiliation? :notgood:

 

[Cappuccino]

APPARENTLY, eating boogers is like a natural inoculation against disease. I read some study on it that I can't find now.

I haven't read this fascinating study, but I have a feeling it doesn't recommend eating other peoples' boogers.

 

[hambirg]

Let's talk about rules, for a minute. Nothing else -- just rules.

Do rules apply just to certain students, or everyone? Why should this child get away with things that another student wouldn't?

It may seem extreme to some, but at what age are kids old enough to be able to follow simple rules? If they're allowed a "free pass" on this rule, what other rules will they not be inclined to follow, either now, as children, or as adults, because they've grown up bypassing the rules?

There can't be any "gray" area -- because pretty soon, the gray area gets bigger, and bigger, and the original rule is no longer known, or able to be applied. No one else seems to be having a problem following this rule.

This didn't need to be labeled sexual harassment, however.

My kids have the same "no touch" rule at their school. If they violated it, I would fully expect, and support them having to pay the consequences for it.

We've become a society of optional rules. Look around you. It's true. Rules apply to the "other guy".

Rules, whatever they may be, need to be developmentally appropriate. Just to illustrate my point. . .if there was a rule on an airplane that you couldn't yell or cry loudly, it would be foolish to expect babies to be able to follow that rule.

Six year olds are not miniature adults, and the expectation that they would be able to comprehend, heck, even have enough self awareness to understand and control their own behavior with regards to some sexual harassment policy written out by the district legal team is not rational.

MOO. . .it is time to get the politicians and lawyers out of education and bring back the child psychologists, and hopefully some common sense too.

I don't believe this boy is a possible abuse victim. He's quite normal. We know an awful lot about six year olds. We know that around three years old children begin to become aware of their gender. At six, they are attempting to learn what that means, gender roles, etc. It is quite normal for six year olds to play house, play wedding, even innocent doctor. It is NORMAL behavior for a six year old.

I would expect a school in the business of educating youngsters to understand these things. If they would take the lawyer perspective out of it, and instead deal with the problem from a psychological perspective, they could simply tell the little boy that this girl is no longer his gf (if the attention is unwanted.) and that men/boys don't get to kiss women/girls who don't want to be their girlfriends. The little boy doesn't have to be labeled a sexual harasser, he doesn't have to be suspended and miss school, and he doesn't have to be taught that he is "bad" for doing something that is quite normal and appropriate for his age and developmental stage.

 

[oh_gal]

Rules, whatever they may be, need to be developmentally appropriate. Just to illustrate my point. . .if there was a rule on an airplane that you couldn't yell or cry loudly, it would be foolish to expect babies to be able to follow that rule.

Six year olds are not miniature adults, and the expectation that they would be able to comprehend, heck, even have enough self awareness to understand and control their own behavior with regards to some sexual harassment policy written out by the district legal team is not rational.

MOO. . .it is time to get the politicians and lawyers out of education and bring back the child psychologists, and hopefully some common sense too.

I don't believe this boy is a possible abuse victim. He's quite normal. We know an awful lot about six year olds. We know that around three years old children begin to become aware of their gender. At six, they are attempting to learn what that means, gender roles, etc. It is quite normal for six year olds to play house, play wedding, even innocent doctor. It is NORMAL behavior for a six year old.

I would expect a school in the business of educating youngsters to understand these things. If they would take the lawyer perspective out of it, and instead deal with the problem from a psychological perspective, they could simply tell the little boy that this girl is no longer his gf (if the attention is unwanted.) and that men/boys don't get to kiss women/girls who don't want to be their girlfriends. The little boy doesn't have to be labeled a sexual harasser, he doesn't have to be suspended and miss school, and he doesn't have to be taught that he is "bad" for doing something that is quite normal and appropriate for his age and developmental stage.

(bbm)
Why have they had the need to put the "lawyer" in it? We didn't have the "lawyer" in it 30 years ago...so what's changed?

As far as children being old enough to know to keep their hands to themselves, I'm sure there's a learning curve. This particular child has had issues before. But my OP only dealt with rules, per se, not the psychological readiness and/or make up of children. No one expects them to be little soldiers. However, they are certainly old enough to be able to keep their hands to themselves, if necessary. They may not like it, any more than they like having to sit still for a certain amount of time, but they do it, unless they want to reap the consequences, whatever they may be. If it didn't work, teachers wouldn't be doing it. I've heard enough about it from my kids, and witnessed it in practice while volunteering in the Kindergarten, First, Second and Third grade classrooms. That's not to say that there are not children out there without other issues or impulse control problems. As for being old enough to exhibit some level of self control, they don't walk around putting their hands in the flame of the stove. Why? They are old enough to know better. That's something a 2 or 3 year old may do, but not a 5 or 6 year old. So there are things they can grasp at different levels. Keeping your hands to yourself, being quiet in the hall (for 30 seconds, while waiting to enter a class), sitting still during storytime don't seem unreasonable, unless, as I've said, the child has issues with impulse control, or some type of hyperactivity disorder.

 

[i.b.nora]

Well apparently the mother of the little girl has spoken out and feels that the school district has done an excellent job of protecting her daughter from sexual harassment.

http://www.canoncitydailyrecord.com...r-girl-involved-kissing-discipline-speaks-out

Cañon City School District
Mother of girl involved in 'kissing' discipline speaks out
Boy was suspended for two days after second kissing incident
By Carie Canterbury
Cañon City Daily Record

snip

"The girl's mother, Jade Masters-Ownbey, spoke out on a Facebook page and gave permission to the Daily Record to publish her response.

"Not once, but over and over...not with her permission but sneaking up on her...not without warning and consequences prior to suspension," she stated.

Superintendent Dr. Robin Gooldy said under the district's sexual harassment policy, the fourth definition fits both circumstances, which reads, "Unwelcome touching, such as patting, pinching or repeated brushing against another's body."

Ownbey stated there originally were two boys who had "kept her (daughter) from playing with other kids and fought with each other.""

*

"Ownbey stated her daughter's older brother has felt like he needed to protect her at school."

*

""In elementary school, when a boy kisses a girl, the usual response of their peers is 'ewwww,'" she stated. "So why do the other kids rush to tell? Because they've seen it over and over, they've seen him repeatedly get in trouble for it, they've seen the girl repeatedly tell him to stop, they know it's wrong.""

*

"Saunders said her son was placed on in-school suspension for the first offense, and he was given a two-day suspension for the most recent. She said she feels the discipline was appropriate, but having sexual harassment on his record is wrong."

More...

I don't belong to Facebook so I cannot read whatever it is Ownbey wrote there. However, I can see the page that shows her interests. I also think she is a teacher in the same school district. If that is true, it could have something to do do with the District's handling of this situation.

 

[oyeyemi808]

Let's talk about rules, for a minute. Nothing else -- just rules.

Do rules apply just to certain students, or everyone? Why should this child get away with things that another student wouldn't?

It may seem extreme to some, but at what age are kids old enough to be able to follow simple rules? If they're allowed a "free pass" on this rule, what other rules will they not be inclined to follow, either now, as children, or as adults, because they've grown up bypassing the rules?

There can't be any "gray" area -- because pretty soon, the gray area gets bigger, and bigger, and the original rule is no longer known, or able to be applied. No one else seems to be having a problem following this rule.

This didn't need to be labeled sexual harassment, however.

My kids have the same "no touch" rule at their school. If they violated it, I would fully expect, and support them having to pay the consequences for it.

We've become a society of optional rules. Look around you. It's true. Rules apply to the "other guy".

Well put! Thanks.


Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk

 

[Zuri]

I understand the No Touch rule. However, biologically, a six year old does not have the testosterone yet to label his behavior as sexual. This little boy sounds like he was exhibiting negative behavior seeking attention IMO. Kissing a little girl on the hand does not constitute sexual harassment IMO. Perhaps, he needs some more guidance as to acceptable behavior and respect. Suspension is more for the mother than it is for the child. JMV

 

[Tawny]

I understand the No Touch rule. However, biologically, a six year old does not have the testosterone yet to label his behavior as sexual. This little boy sounds like he was exhibiting negative behavior seeking attention IMO. Kissing a little girl on the hand does not constitute sexual harassment IMO. Perhaps, he needs some more guidance as to acceptable behavior and respect. Suspension is more for the mother than it is for the child. JMV

I agree. All the kid really knows is he gets some days off of school.

 

[gitana1]

There has definately been a 'dumbing down' in the school system.

Snipped by me.

Hon, this is not about teacher's unions. Can we leave politics to the political threads? Please?

I think a rule that kids can no longer touch each other in school is absurd. I know of no such rule in my district. Why can't kids hug, and play tag, or pat each other on the back, give each other high fives, hold hands or wrestle around a bit, or braid each other's hair, etc.? This is "zero tolerance" nonsense. Human beings are designed to touch each other and not all touching is aggressive or sexual. Most is not.

That's such a sad rule and one I think designed by the same mediocre "officials" who apparently so lack common sense that they have to create ludicrous "rules", like zero tolerance for "fighting" even when the "fighting" is actually just a student defending themselves or someone else, or zero tolerance for all "drugs', including an aspirin, or for all "weapons" including butter knives, or zero tolerance for any gun play, including the very natural shaping of fingers into a gun that many kids do.

Also, "sexual harassment"? By a 6 year old? Give me a break. I would be so offended if I were the parent of the little baby, who has only been out of the womb for 6 years, being accused of sexual harassment. Silly and sad.

However, if he is a kid who won't stop bothering people or listening to the teacher, then he was sent to the principal's office "fair and square" as he himself says and if it has happened so many times, despite being warned and punished repeatedly, to the degree that it is totally disruptive, then a suspension is the last resort. Whoever said a suspension is more for the parents is right. It's often to try to force the parents to deal with an out of control child. And sometimes, such parents use whatever they can to distract from their lack of parenting.

So in sum, my opinion is that:

1. There should be no school policy forbidding non-sexual or non-aggressive touching between children.
2. Any policy labeling as "sexual harassment" the conduct of a 5 or 6 year old is nonsensical tripe.
3. It seems like the kid himself understands why he was punished and feels he deserved it.
4. The child in this story seems to be disruptive with his "energy" at school and mom, instead of taking responsibility and trying to help him with that, may be trying to use something stupid on the part of the district, to distract from her own shortcomings as a parent.

 

[Ausgirl]

^ what gitana said.

 

[Love143]

Snipped by me.

Hon, this is not about teacher's unions. Can we leave politics to the political threads? Please?

I think a rule that kids can no longer touch each other in school is absurd. I know of no such rule in my district. Why can't kids hug, and play tag, or pat each other on the back, give each other high fives, hold hands or wrestle around a bit, or braid each other's hair, etc.? This is "zero tolerance" nonsense. Human beings are designed to touch each other and not all touching is aggressive or sexual. Most is not.

That's such a sad rule and one I think designed by the same mediocre "officials" who apparently so lack common sense that they have to create ludicrous "rules", like zero tolerance for "fighting" even when the "fighting" is actually just a student defending themselves or someone else, or zero tolerance for all "drugs', including an aspirin, or for all "weapons" including butter knives, or zero tolerance for any gun play, including the very natural shaping of fingers into a gun that many kids do.

Also, "sexual harassment"? By a 6 year old? Give me a break. I would be so offended if I were the parent of the little baby, who has only been out of the womb for 6 years, being accused of sexual harassment. Silly and sad.

However, if he is a kid who won't stop bothering people or listening to the teacher, then he was sent to the principal's office "fair and square" as he himself says and if it has happened so many times, despite being warned and punished repeatedly, to the degree that it is totally disruptive, then a suspension is the last resort. Whoever said a suspension is more for the parents is right. It's often to try to force the parents to deal with an out of control child. And sometimes, such parents use whatever they can to distract from their lack of parenting.

So in sum, my opinion is that:

1. There should be no school policy forbidding non-sexual or non-aggressive touching between children.
2. Any policy labeling as "sexual harassment" the conduct of a 5 or 6 year old is nonsensical tripe.
3. It seems like the kid himself understands why he was punished and feels he deserved it.
4. The child in this story seems to be disruptive with his "energy" at school and mom, instead of taking responsibility and trying to help him with that, may be trying to use something stupid on the part of the district, to distract from her own shortcomings as a parent.

Great post.

 

[TrackerSam]

School drops sexual harassment claim against 6-year-old who kissed girl.

Amid a tidal wave of negative publicity, a Colorado school system has let a 6-year-old boy return to school and said it won't classify his kissing a girl on the hand as sexual harassment.

The story of first-grader Hunter Yelton made national news and spurred outrage this week after word spread that his school near Colorado Springs suspended him for the kiss and accused him of sexually harassing the girl.

On Wednesday night, CNN affiliate KRDO reported that Canon City Schools Superintendent Robin Gooldy met with Hunter's parents. The superintendent then changed Hunter's disciplinary offense from "sexual harassment" to "misconduct."

The boy has also returned to school at the Lincoln School of Science & Technology.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/12/12/us/six-year-old-kissing-girl-suspension/index.html?hpt=ju_c2

 

[oh_gal]

I understand the No Touch rule. However, biologically, a six year old does not have the testosterone yet to label his behavior as sexual. This little boy sounds like he was exhibiting negative behavior seeking attention IMO. Kissing a little girl on the hand does not constitute sexual harassment IMO. Perhaps, he needs some more guidance as to acceptable behavior and respect. Suspension is more for the mother than it is for the child. JMV

While everyone objected to this being labeled sexual harassment, I don't think anyone remotely thought that this boy was acting in a sexual way. I always thought it was about breaking the no-touching rule, not a sexual act. It just so happened that this fell under the poorly labeled "sexual harassment" policy in place at the school. Not age appropriate, I agree.

 

[oh_gal]

I agree that the no touching rule is absurd. Unfortunately, it is an absurd world we live in...where people are sue-happy, and some are always looking for a way to gain from a potential lawsuit. Sad that it's come to this. I don't see it changing, though.

 

[Elley Mae]

No, we all did it. It was normal. We used to chase each other round the playground with bogeys on our fingers too - I suppose that would be some kind of harrassment now too.

Where did you go to school?

All I got chased with was cocklebur's

 

[TexanMom]

School drops sexual harassment claim against 6-year-old who kissed girl.

Amid a tidal wave of negative publicity, a Colorado school system has let a 6-year-old boy return to school and said it won't classify his kissing a girl on the hand as sexual harassment.

The story of first-grader Hunter Yelton made national news and spurred outrage this week after word spread that his school near Colorado Springs suspended him for the kiss and accused him of sexually harassing the girl.

On Wednesday night, CNN affiliate KRDO reported that Canon City Schools Superintendent Robin Gooldy met with Hunter's parents. The superintendent then changed Hunter's disciplinary offense from "sexual harassment" to "misconduct."

The boy has also returned to school at the Lincoln School of Science & Technology.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/12/12/us/six-year-old-kissing-girl-suspension/index.html?hpt=ju_c2

Good! It also bothered me that the girl's mother seemed to have a smug satisfaction in the way Hunter was disciplined.

 

[Elley Mae]

I have to say that when my daughter was in 6th grade she was pinched/grabbed on her buttock (thank U Forrest). She told me right away, like when she got in the car at the curb. I immediately parked and went in side. I asked to see the principal and a/the counselor. The 4 of us went into a room and I asked my daughter to tell the two what had happened and told them that I thought the boy should be talked to. To know that this behavior was not acceptable/appropriate. The next day I was told that the mother had indeed been informed. And was very thankful to know/hear about how her son was acting at school.
Never had another problem.

I think there is more to this.

 

[jjenny]

Girl's mother wants to protect her daughter. I wouldn't like it if some six year old was running around kissing my six year old.
I understand people think it's cute and all that. But the kid needs to learn that if he is told to stop doing something, he needs to stop doing it.

 

[Trident]

Once upon a time, a very long time ago, I was kissed on the top of my head by a boy as I bent down to tie my shoe. And, OMG, this happened right in the school room, in class, if you will believe it. It was a kindergarten class, kids all in a circle.

No, I didn't solicite his attention, but it was the purest, most beautiful kiss I've ever had. I'm glad he didn't get suspended or slapped with a sexual harassment suit.

Then there was another boy who ran around kissing all the girls he could catch. We never thought we'd be raped, molested, or sexually harassed - hell, we didn't even know what sexual harassment was. We laughed, and maybe ran faster or slower, as the case may be. Of course TV was in it's infancy and nude young ladies weren't swinging on wrecking balls, and most of us thought a kiss were innocent and pure. I thank God we didn't have teachers or principals who told us differently and called the police.

In today's world we don't have little boys chasing the girls around, or giving an innocent kiss. We have child molestors, and serial killers. Maybe we should see the light instead of covering love, innocent love, with a bushel basket of laws and hate.

My opinion, of course.

 

[TexanMom]

But to agree that labeling a six year old a "sexual harasser" as appropriate is a bit much.