6-year-old boy suspended from school for kissing student on the cheek

[Linda7NJ]

Once upon a time, a very long time ago, I was kissed on the top of my head by a boy as I bent down to tie my shoe. And, OMG, this happened right in the school room, in class, if you will believe it. It was a kindergarten class, kids all in a circle.

No, I didn't solicite his attention, but it was the purest, most beautiful kiss I've ever had. I'm glad he didn't get suspended or slapped with a sexual harassment suit.

Then there was another boy who ran around kissing all the girls he could catch. We never thought we'd be raped, molested, or sexually harassed - hell, we didn't even know what sexual harassment was. We laughed, and maybe ran faster or slower, as the case may be. Of course TV was in it's infancy and nude young ladies weren't swinging on wrecking balls, and most of us thought a kiss were innocent and pure. I thank God we didn't have teachers or principals who told us differently and called the police.

In today's world we don't have little boys chasing the girls around, or giving an innocent kiss. We have child molestors, and serial killers. Maybe we should see the light instead of covering love, innocent love, with a bushel basket of laws and hate.

My opinion, of course.

When I was in first and second grade that's how recess was spent! The boys would chase us to kiss us. If a boy I liked was chasing me... I'd run really slow


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[belimom]

Good! It also bothered me that the girl's mother seemed to have a smug satisfaction in the way Hunter was disciplined.

As the mother of a 6-yr-old who has had repeated unwanted physical contact in 1st-grade (not kissing although a boy did pull down his pants and 'wag his wiener' in her face), I applaud the school system for doing something. Maybe it's not sexual harassment, but it is bullying.

Here is a quote from the girl's mother, and I agree with her 100%. He had already kissed her before and wouldn't stop - what message would it send to this girl if nothing is done? That's it's okay for someone to keep kissing your (or punching you or poking you in the eye)?

...The mother, who is also a teacher in the school district, said Hunter had tried to kiss her daughter "over and over" without her permission, according to Canon City Daily Record.

"I've had to coach her about what to do when you don't want someone touching you, but they won't stop," Masters-Ownbey told the newspaper....

http://www.cnn.com/2013/12/12/us/six-year-old-kissing-girl-suspension/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

 

[Donjeta]

If a child repeatedly disrupts the class and breaks the rules of course the school needs to do something but imo if I felt that a suspension from school is the best and only thing I can do to influence a six year old's behavior I would consider it a personal failure. I mean, some kids are holy terrors but come on, he's only six... if I'm already running out of other options I'm going to have a lot of trouble later. I would recommend some professional work counselling for the organization. Maybe there is something they could improve when it comes to their ways of disciplining bad behaviour, reinforcing good behaviour or recognizing the children who need other kinds of professional help.

 

[Linda7NJ]

As the mother of a 6-yr-old who has had repeated unwanted physical contact in 1st-grade (not kissing although a boy did pull down his pants and 'wag his wiener' in her face), I applaud the school system for doing something. Maybe it's not sexual harassment, but it is bullying.

Here is a quote from the girl's mother, and I agree with her 100%. He had already kissed her before and wouldn't stop - what message would it send to this girl if nothing is done? That's it's okay for someone to keep kissing your (or punching you or poking you in the eye)?

It still was quite the overreaction.

I would expect it to be handled in such a way as to TEACH not punish. To empathize with his apparent affection for her while TALKING & teaching him while his intentions may have meant no harm, it's wrong because it makes her unhappy and if it continues there will be consequences because she has a right to her own body and what & who comes in contact with it. Then because all that is a little confusing Id give examples of unwanted touching and personal space..., like the poking and punching mentioned above. I'd give him a few idea on his to appropriately express his affection... Like being nice and respectful of her feelings.


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[ScarlettScarpetta]

It still was quite the overreaction.

I would expect it to be handled in such a way as to TEACH not punish. To empathize with his apparent affection for her while TALKING & teaching him while his intentions may have meant no harm, it's wrong because it makes her unhappy and if it continues there will be consequences because she has a right to her own body and what & who comes in contact with it. Then because all that is a little confusing Id give examples of unwanted touching and personal space..., like the poking and punching mentioned above. I'd give him a few idea on his to appropriately express his affection... Like being nice and respectful of her feelings.


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Disagree. You do something wrong you get punished. That is something kids need to learn early. We see it all the time in kids who are not taught this and grow up to think they get away things. Teaching is done before, punishing comes after you do it wrong again. There has to be consequences. Has to be.

 

[Linda7NJ]

Disagree. You do something wrong you get punished. That is something kids need to learn early. We see it all the time in kids who are not taught this and grow up to think they get away things. Teaching is done before, punishing comes after you do it wrong again. There has to be consequences. Has to be.

You're assuming someone took the time to talk to him, teach and explain it to him.
I sincerely doubt it.
Children need to be taught all the time. They're children. I see very little teaching going on around me. Seems no one has the time.
Oftentimes the only thing learned by the child is he gets punished for doing whatever without any logic or reason behind it.
I liken it to smacking a puppy for peeing on the floor after it's discovered sometime later. The puppy learned nothing more than to distrust your hands.


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[ScarlettScarpetta]

You're assuming someone took the time to talk to him, teach and explain it to him.
I sincerely doubt it.
Children need to be taught all the time. They're children. I see very little teaching going on around me. Seems no one has the time.



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He was told to stop. He was told more than once. It is time for consequences.

 

[Linda7NJ]

He was told to stop. He was told more than once. It is time for consequences.

I edited my post above to explain it further.

Simply telling a child "no" is not enough. If that's how it was handled, you made my point. Nothing was actually learned and a great opportunity was missed.


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[ScarlettScarpetta]

I edited my post above to explain it further.

Simply telling a child "no" is not enough. If that's how it was handled, you made my point. Nothing was actually learned and a great opportunity was missed.


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IT should be enough. Especially a 6 yr old. Kids need to learn the boundaries. you cross them you get punished. No one says no and means it anymore.

 

[Linda7NJ]

IT should be enough. Especially a 6 yr old. Kids need to learn the boundaries. you cross them you get punished. No one says no and means it anymore.

The goal when training a dog is to teach boundaries.
The goal when teaching a child is to educate & influence the adult they will become. An adult that can make good decisions, not simply to follow orders but to give a foundation of a moral
compass . Just saying "no" does nothing to to further that goal.




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[Tawny]

This kid basically learned that if you do what you're told not to do long enough, you get to stay home from school for a few days. He's 6. He doesn't understand that suspension can affect his grades, college, and future.

I think this needed to be handled differently, though I'm not sure what all the parents did to deal with it, so it's hard to say at this point.

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

The goal when training a dog is to teach boundaries.
The goal when teaching a child is to educate & influence the adult they will become. An adult that can make good decisions, not simply to follow orders but to give a foundation of a moral
compass . Just saying "no" does nothing to to further that goal.




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We aren't training dogs. We are training people. People are more complex and have a lot of things to learn. The goal in teaching a child is to raise a good human being. One that knows how to live and function in society and work well with others.
Learning no and accepting it is an important skill best learned early on.

If more kids learned NO means NO I bet we would not have as many adults with issues.

 

[Tawny]

Yes, but children generally need to know the "why" behind the "no" so they can learn it more effectively. A child will generally keep going back to doing something unless you explain to them that it could hurt them or it's wrong for *insert reason here*.

At least, that's my limited experience with small children. No = well why not, I wanna. No, because = I could get hurt/in trouble/hurt someone's feelings

 

[Linda7NJ]

We aren't training dogs. We are training people. People are more complex and have a lot of things to learn. The goal in teaching a child is to raise a good human being. One that knows how to live and function in society and work well with others.
Learning no and accepting it is an important skill best learned early on.

If more kids learned NO means NO I bet we would not have as many adults with issues.

How many times a day does a 6 year kid hear the word no? I would bet a lot.
How often does the child get suspended for doing something after they were told no? Like talking or getting out line? If it's not every stinking time, it makes no logical sense to a 6 year old.
I would suggest suspending a child for every repeated mistake without attempting to actually teach is a form of abuse.
.... Especially when everyone is too lazy to explain why in a way he can understand it and adapt his behavior. How can he possibly ever do that without the tools? Isn't it the job of the adults to teach and give him appropriate ways to express himself?


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[ScarlettScarpetta]

No means no. that is what they need to learn. They need to learn it to live a productive life. No MEANS NO.

This child was suspended not for a first offense but for repeated offenses. What he is doing to that little girl is harassing her. Not sexual harassment, I think that goes too far but he has been told to leave her alone and won't.

The reason we have kids like the 16 yr old who got probation is because they never learn the word no.

 

[Linda7NJ]

IT should be enough. Especially a 6 yr old. Kids need to learn the boundaries. you cross them you get punished. No one says no and means it anymore.

IMO punishment only should occur when the child already has mastered or knows and understands a skill and decided to do it anyway.




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[Tawny]

A 6 year old kissing a girl on the cheek is "sexually inappropriate"? The child psychologist said it was normal behavior.

 

[ScarlettScarpetta]

A 6 year old kissing a girl on the cheek is "sexually inappropriate"? The child psychologist said it was normal behavior.

No. He kissed her on the hand. The inappropriate part is that he has been told before over and over that she wants NOT to be touched. Does she have any less rights because she is 6? No. She gets to say who touches her and doesn't.

He needs to learn NO is NO. Maybe him being suspended will help him see that. He already said he was wrong in the news clip. He seems to get it. His mother has said he was in trouble before.

He needs to learn NO Is NO. Especially when it comes to touching someone else.

 

[Linda7NJ]

Well we are going to have to agree to disagree on this one.

Personally, I don't believe children should be lumped together in a room by age until they can keep their hands to themselves, sit and follow basic directions. But that's not the way the public education system is set up. Every classroom is gonna have a few incapable of those things..... Because all 6 yr olds are not the same. 6 year olds have notoriously poor impulse control. I would expect the adults to have protected this girl from the unwanted kissing while at the same time teaching him why it's not okay.
The adults failed.


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[Linda7NJ]

No. He kissed her on the hand. The inappropriate part is that he has been told before over and over that she wants NOT to be touched. Does she have any less rights because she is 6? No. She gets to say who touches her and doesn't.

He needs to learn NO is NO. Maybe him being suspended will help him see that. He already said he was wrong in the news clip. He seems to get it. His mother has said he was in trouble before.

He needs to learn NO Is NO. Especially when it comes to touching someone else.

I do agree with you that she does have the right not be be mauled in anyway shape or form. I'm not condoning his repeated touching of her.

Everyone needs to learn No means No. I also agree with that.

I just wish it were handled differently.




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