Alleged alcohol abuse Revisit w/new 2010.11.12 Dateline info

[ClueMeIn]

The issue isn't about whether she is an alcoholic or not, but a murderer. That is the real issue, now isn't it? Everything else is a distraction.

Why won't she testify in court? Because it will incriminate her? OMG!!

 

[citigirl]

we have not seen terri ADMIT or DENY being an alcoholic

just that she was charged driving a car with a child in it while drunk


and her husband... same one which LAW ENFORCEMENT gave info on his own murder for hire plot...his testimony to that fact.

all that is left is for her to testify against it.. burden is on her at this point and she refuses to talk about it.

does silence=-guilt?

no.

but does it make you innocent?

no as well.

Legally, in this civil case, silence=guilt

 

[germaine]

The issue isn't about whether she is an alcoholic or not, but a murderer. That is the real issue, now isn't it? Everything else is a distraction.

Why won't she testify in court? Because it will incriminate her? OMG!!

I agree, but this thread is about the alcohol issue, specifically. I agree that it needs to be considered in context, but I think it's useful to consider it separately, as well. The little peices are what makes the big picture

 

[cluciano63]

I agree that we don't know whether or not Terri is an alcoholic. But if she was getting passed out drunk on a regular basis, I don't think it is fair to say that Kaine could not have imagined in his wildest dreams that any harm might come to his children. Maybe not having one vanish, but just about any kind of harm imaginable can come to little children being cared for by an alcoholic. Certainly nothing good was going to happen and resolve the situation. I feel he was hiding it from Desiree in order to keep Kyron.

 

[Donjeta]

I find it interesting that Bunch said Kaine's accusations were inadmissible hearsay, inflammatory and irrelevant but he never said they were untrue. He wrote that they couldn't answer the allegations because the Respondent couldn't get reciprocal discovery since the state is intent on squashing her attempts. But she already knows whether or not she drinks a lot of alcohol so she would not need any input from the state to respond to that if it's not true. The state is not likely to know more than her about her alcohol habits, if any.

 

[Chablis]

I agree that we don't know whether or not Terri is an alcoholic. But if she was getting passed out drunk on a regular basis, I don't think it is fair to say that Kaine could not have imagined in his wildest dreams that any harm might come to his children. Maybe not having one vanish, but just about any kind of harm imaginable can come to little children being cared for by an alcoholic. Certainly nothing good was going to happen and resolve the situation. I feel he was hiding it from Desiree in order to keep Kyron.

He probably was hiding it. But do you know how many families are afflicted with alcohol abuse? I mean, do we know he knew she was drunk and let the kids drive with her? Do you think he knew she was drinking and said, sure, drive the kids around, I dont care? I have a feeling he was the caregiver to everyone in the evenings.

jmo

 

[cluciano63]

I don't think Kaine had any idea what Terri did during the day. But I know I would not assume someone with a drinking problem won't drink when they are in charge of kids. So I am just saying, something bad was bound to happen in this house, apparently, before Kaine was going to admit to Desiree how life had become, or make any drastic moves.

 

[debs]

I don't think Kaine had any idea what Terri did during the day. But I know I would not assume someone with a drinking problem won't drink when they are in charge of kids. So I am just saying, something bad was bound to happen in this house, apparently, before Kaine was going to admit to Desiree how life had become, or make any drastic moves.

I found that quite believable until Kaine insisted that he was working from home 3 to 5 days a week. Then I wondered how he could not know what Terri was doing. I mean, sure if she's out running errands, that might be harder to track. But he didn't know what else she seemed to do all day at home.

 

[Chablis]

I found that quite believable until Kaine insisted that he was working from home 3 to 5 days a week. Then I wondered how he could not know what Terri was doing. I mean, sure if she's out running errands, that might be harder to track. But he didn't know what else she seemed to do all day at homem.

Well, what would she do? Cook, clean, take care of the baby? Is he a jerk because he didnt ask for a list of her websites or put a keystroke logger on her computer and monitor her all day? And has it been proven he didn't work at home as much as he says he did? Maybe there is a reason for him working at home so much?

 

[Donjeta]

Kaine must have been working away from home at least some time if Terri's secret landscaper did any actual landscaping work there or otherwise he'd have noticed a strange guy hanging around doing their lawn for no apparent reason.

 

[grandmaj]

I am a working girl and my husband has no idea what I do except when I tell him. I might be at one location in the morning and move to meetings somewhere else during the day. I could be anywhere and unless he were to call me and ask he might not know. It isn't that I'm hiding anything it is just the nature of what I do. I might think I'll be in my office all day and get a call to leave and make calls to other locations for various reasons.

I think the thing here is trust. Maybe Kaine believed Terri was just being a volunteer, or he was giving her room for her work-out friends and activities. Maybe he was under a false impression that he had no reason to question her activities.

As far as her drinking there are thousands and thousands of households in which one partner drinks and the other partner takes up the vigil and does double duty in the parenting and household for the sake of the kids. Maybe Kaine felt he was doing the right thing by trying to deal with the drinking issue and trying to preserve the family.

To blame him for Terri's actions is unfair. He did what he knew how to do at the time and suffers enough. We must always remember he is a victim of a missing child. And our words should never harm him more.

 

[tlcya]

perhaps the working at home thing was enacted BECAUSE of concerns over Terri's alleged drinking?

 

[Jo in Calif]

I found that quite believable until Kaine insisted that he was working from home 3 to 5 days a week. Then I wondered how he could not know what Terri was doing. I mean, sure if she's out running errands, that might be harder to track. But he didn't know what else she seemed to do all day at homem.

I would think that Kaine working from home 3 to 5 days a week, could mean the same thing he did the day Kyron went missing. He came home to work around 2:00 I believe. He never stated he never left the house, 3 to 5 days a week.
The day Kyron went missing, Kaine knew Terri was bringing him to school, for the science fair, but had no idea what she was going to do after that (unfortunately) she was home when he got home.
That could be what he did 3 to 5 days a week.

 

[cluciano63]

I would think that Kaine working from home 3 to 5 days a week, could mean the same thing he did the day Kyron went missing. He came home to work around 2:00 I believe. He never stated he never left the house, 3 to 5 days a week.
The day Kyron went missing, Kaine knew Terri was bringing him to school, for the science fair, but had no idea what she was going to do after that (unfortunately) she was home when he got home.
That could be what he did 3 to 5 days a week.

That is still a lot of hours for a baby to be with a mother who drinks...and drives. Not saying she did both at the same time, but how would Kaine know?

I honestly think he was trying to keep the situation from getting back to Desiree and his judgement may have been clouded.

 

[Hippy Chick]

I would love to meet the person who isn't "vindictive" toward the person who they believe is the cause of their child being missing or worse for nearly six months. Vindictive wouldn't even begin to cover it for me.

And obnoxious...just wow. That's a word to describe the belligerent drunk that wrecks your holiday party. Not a grieving father who believes his soon-to-be-ex (thank goodness) wife harmed his son in the vilest of ways.

Rock on Kaine. She's lucky she's dealing with you and DY, not me :furious: jmoo

ITA I would have wrung her neck long ago:banghead:

 

[Billylee]

I do not want to bash Kaine.I just do not believe some of his allegations or the way he said things.
Her DUI was 5 years ago.Not today.That doesn't show me a problem.

I will say this and then I will move on.I've been in recovery for a long time and the ONLY ONE that can really call her an alcoholic is Terri herself.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

Oh my, Suzanne, move on, but please don't move AWAY!!! We've all appreciated your honesty and input!

 

[txsvicki]

Kaine's statement about the drinking kind of bothers me. Is he saying that the baby was not on a schedule because she was not put to bed soon after 8 at night or that she was not put to bed til the wee hours of the morning? If she wasn't put to bed earlier that means that Kaine was going on to bed leaving the baby up and awake with Terri passed out on the couch by 7 or 8 several nights per week. There's no way the baby was sleeping 12 hours per night like Kyron was because he says that she spent hours at the gym. For any that don't believe the report the gym daycare should be able to recall very well if the baby slept a lot while there. If she stayed up past 1 am she should have been sleeping until at least noon regularly then maybe taking a nap in early evening. Kaine seems to be saying that he tried to interven at 1 am or so and put the baby to bed, because Terri was passed out at 7 or 8 pm. If the baby was going to the gym with Terri and spending hours in daycare there and if the baby was up with Terri at night til the wee hours then Kaine was not the one giving the primary childcare.

 

[gwenabob]

I believe it is quite possible the baby was put to bed at a reasonable hour. I am a mom, and I know that babies often wake up during the night. I bet Terri would get the baby out of bed and it became a cycle.

 

[debs]

I am equally as puzzled that Kaine, who seems assertive in nearly every other area, would stand down when, as he says, Terri got ......er, what was the word? Combative? Verbally aggressive? In any case, I'm amazed he allowed what he said transpired, to transpire. Denial goes only so far, and a child, by his words, was not being cared for, and it appears, again by what he said, that he left her with her mother rather than face a conflict.

 

[Jo in Calif]

That is still a lot of hours for a baby to be with a mother who drinks...and drives. Not saying she did both at the same time, but how would Kaine know?

I honestly think he was trying to keep the situation from getting back to Desiree and his judgement may have been clouded.

If I remember correctly he was trying to show that Terri was not the sole primary caregiver of the baby, that they shared in her care.
In other words, he did not leave the house every morning and not return until the evening. 3 to 5 days a week he worked from home, didn't state the hours he was home, could have been half days or so, like on the 4th of June. He was trying to show that they shared in the baby's care.
I think that's where the statement came in that he didn't always know what Terri was doing during the day, as some or possibly most mornings he was at work. But they shared baby K's care.