Why would you characterize this as a confession? I would not write like this now, at this point in my life, but when I was young, sleep-deprived and wanted to exorcise all of the emotions, I would write very much in this style. It looks exactly like what a young naive person who has been asked way too many questions and never wants to answer any more, would write.
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There is not one shred of physical evidence for anything that you speculate and it leaves many other questions unanswered.