Australia Australia - Theo Hayez, 18, Belgian backpacker, Byron Bay, June 2019 #2

[Deleted member 255258]

That’s interesting. By suggesting it was a leap to wonder if Theo was gay...

...assumes that ‘non gay’ is the default position of people, until proven otherwise.

I’m trying to be as frank but polite as possible and aiming for perceptive and understanding.

Straight people see the world through their own lens which is an accumulation of their own life experiences. Because of this, they tend to assume everyone is like them... straight until proven otherwise.

The same can be said of gay people. They see the world through their own lens where straight is not the default position.

So no, it wasn’t a stretch that GM thought Theo could be gay.

His assumptions were no more incorrect than everyone else who assumed Theo was straight.

Because we don’t know. Yes. He had a girlfriend. Because in the history of the world, a man with a girlfriend has never been gay or fluid or figuring it out or whatever? Lol ;P

This isn’t a comment though, on whether putting it on Grindr was appropriate. Just that considering Theo’s sexuality isn’t cause for suspicion, and that we all tend to see and interact with the world according to our lens of life experiences.

Well said Peralta. Just to clarify, GM thought it a possibility Theo was gay initially because others in Byron were suggesting it. He quickly dismissed this as he gained more information. He did not profile Theo on Grindr - he only mentioned his first name and posted has anyone seen Theo? Theo was prominent in the media at that time so he knew that people would likely know which Theo he was referring to. It was just another avenue to get people looking for him. The gay community in Byron had as much chance of finding and/ or looking for signs of Theo than anyone else. I contacted several groups on social media at the time who had large national followings requesting they feature Theo. GM did the same in the wider communities he's a part of.

 

[T-dawg420]

That’s interesting. By suggesting it was a leap to wonder if Theo was gay...

...assumes that ‘non gay’ is the default position of people, until proven otherwise.

I’m trying to be as frank but polite as possible and aiming for perceptive and understanding.

Straight people see the world through their own lens which is an accumulation of their own life experiences. Because of this, they tend to assume everyone is like them... straight until proven otherwise.

The same can be said of gay people. They see the world through their own lens where straight is not the default position.

So no, it wasn’t a stretch that GM thought Theo could be gay.

His assumptions were no more incorrect than everyone else who assumed Theo was straight.

Because we don’t know. Yes. He had a girlfriend. Because in the history of the world, a man with a girlfriend has never been gay or fluid or figuring it out or whatever? Lol ;P

This isn’t a comment though, on whether putting it on Grindr was appropriate. Just that considering Theo’s sexuality isn’t cause for suspicion, and that we all tend to see and interact with the world according to our lens of life experiences.

To me it’s a leap because he had a long term girlfriend, which was stated on the podcast the only reason they broke up was because of the long distance. And there has been nothing else to say he was gay.

I need to state I don’t have a problem with being gay at all. Or even going down that avenue if there is evidence to say so, like there was with Theo being in a relationship with a female, so why not go online to where females look to meet up as well? What I do have an issue with is using an Ap for meeting up for gay people, when one for all people doesn’t seem to be searched in the same way (ie tinder).

 

[Rocket333]

Just want to put it out there that 10 years ago another backpacker went missing from the lighthouse area. It was around June as well. His body surfaced at the mouth of the Brunswick River. Would assume the currents would be similar so if Theo ended up in the water possibly could have gone this way too though the current need lighthouse seems to go out to sea the other way I think the ocean can have a mind of it's own. We’re for Sydney | Daily Telegraph

Interesting that he was found not far away only a week later. Also that he travelled north.

 

[Deleted member 255258]

@certus1 So go back to that LFTH FB page and comment there about what you read re that slip of paper Théo was supposed to have in his hand. The matter will come up and we'll find out on the FB pages. Thanks very much

I prefer not to go onto that website.

 

[T-dawg420]

And just to ad... no one has actually clarified what makes GM a professional in finding missing people? What courses has he completed? What other searches has he helped in? No one seems to be able to answer how he got his ‘expertise’ in this field? Apart from running a hire a bouncer company.

 

[SouthAussie]

Interesting that he was found not far away only a week later. Also that he travelled north.

His family are lucky that a sea creature didn't find him first ... his family were at least able to get some kind of closure.

 

[Rocket333]

To me it’s a leap because he had a long term girlfriend, which was stated on the podcast the only reason they broke up was because of the long distance. And there has been nothing else to say he was gay.

I need to state I don’t have a problem with being gay at all. Or even going down that avenue if there is evidence to say so, like there was with Theo being in a relationship with a female, so why not go online to where females look to meet up as well? What I do have an issue with is using an Ap for meeting up for gay people, when one for all people doesn’t seem to be searched in the same way (ie tinder).

I think in a situation like this it is prudent to be open to, consider, and explore all avenues. I don’t recall the family being aware of, or approving the use of Theo’s image and info in that particular forum. If so, irrespective of the intent you can see how it’s perceived controversially as it takes a big liberty, is careless and disrespectful to the family and risks messing with the task of dealing with an already complex situation. This avenue could’ve been explored more professionally and adeptly. I think it’s how it was done, rather than why.

 

[Deleted member 255258]

To me it’s a leap because he had a long term girlfriend, which was stated on the podcast the only reason they broke up was because of the long distance. And there has been nothing else to say he was gay.

I need to state I don’t have a problem with being gay at all. Or even going down that avenue if there is evidence to say so, like there was with Theo being in a relationship with a female, so why not go online to where females look to meet up as well? What I do have an issue with is using an Ap for meeting up for gay people, when one for all people doesn’t seem to be searched in the same way (ie tinder).

I guess he used the one he would be familiar with. Someone who uses Tinder or other dating sites could also have placed a query about Theo there as well.

 

[Rocket333]

His family are lucky that a sea creature didn't find him first ... his family were at least able to get some kind of closure.

I was thinking that. Seems he may have done an arc, out and northwards and back in. Yes that could’ve ended differently.

 

[Rocket333]

And just to ad... no one has actually clarified what makes GM a professional in finding missing people? What courses has he completed? What other searches has he helped in? No one seems to be able to answer how he got his ‘expertise’ in this field? Apart from running a hire a bouncer company.

From his page it seems he’s got experience doing club bouncing kind of work. Can’t detect anything relevant to criminal investigations, forensics or search & rescue training.

 

[Rocket333]

I guess he used the one he would be familiar with. Someone who uses Tinder or other dating sites could also have placed a query about Theo there as well.

We haven’t heard of anyone else doing that, let alone without gaining prior family permission.

 

[Harpboon]

Even the wide, loose opening of a hoodie pocket?

Did the police drivers search near the cliff? And scale the rocks?

 

[Harpboon]

IMO I wouldn’t put my phone in a loose hoody pocket if I was going to scale a cliff.

I don’t know, it’s defined a possibility/theory but I just don’t think it adds up with the phone pings. And previous info about how he made his way through the bush to tallows makes me think he wasn’t alone. So if he wasn’t alone, was someone scaling the cliffs with him?

 

[Harpboon]

Definitely*

 

[Rocket333]

Did the police drivers search near the cliff? And scale the rocks?

Yeah, there was a fair bit of searching and abseiling going on around the cliffs back in July. Think it was the focal point for the police.

https://www.smh.com.au/national/nsw...ssing-belgian-backpacker-20190702-p523is.html

 

[Rocket333]

IMO I wouldn’t put my phone in a loose hoody pocket if I was going to scale a cliff.

I don’t know, it’s defined a possibility/theory but I just don’t think it adds up with the phone pings. And previous info about how he made his way through the bush to tallows makes me think he wasn’t alone. So if he wasn’t alone, was someone scaling the cliffs with him?

I reckon it’s easily feasible to place it in your hoodie pocket for safe keeping and ease of access.
It could’ve also dropped before he ascended or early on in the climb, and was believed unretrievable and lost. Someone could’ve scaled the cliff with him for sure, like Connor Meldrum and his mate. Connor’s Mum said he was a really sensible kid too and she was surprised he even did it. All of it is as plausible, even possibly more so, as any other scenario. To fall from the cliffs explains the whereabouts of him, his clothes, jewellery, shoes, and possibly his phone.

What’s left is the final phone ping indicating the phone was dry the next afternoon, and his path to Tallow beach which indicates he had company.

 

[T-dawg420]

I guess he used the one he would be familiar with. Someone who uses Tinder or other dating sites could also have placed a query about Theo there as well.

My overall point is wouldn’t an expert search ALL avenues and not rely on others to possibly search Because they are unfamiliar with something? Surely an expert would get familiar with it and use it as well if they thought it was a was a good idea?

My point is he says he could do better, but where is the evidence he could have done better?

Because the searching of just Grindr and not other ‘online meet up aps’ without the family’s permission just shows his level of professionalism and expertise IMO

 

[bearbear]

Theo Hayez six months on: The 'exhausting torture' for families of missing persons
People have spent six months searching for Theo, all they've found is 'sadness and emptiness'

 

[mussopossum]

Yeah. I followed that. His mother was so courageous doing what she could to try and prevent similar from happening while he was still critical in hospital.

I remember seeing recently an article in a recent paper from his mother how grateful she was at all the support she had been given,

 

[Deleted member 255258]

I sent a message to the guy who posted on the LFTH page about the paper note he said Theo was holding in his hand after being escorted out of CM. Really would like to know where he got that info from and if its true. Hope he replies.