AZ - Valley HS senior with leukemia denied cap, gown wants policy change

[Blondie in Spokane]

I read this story earlier and my heart broke for this young man. His story hits so close to home.

My son was diagnosed with cancer when he was a junior in high school at the age of 17. He had to miss a ton of school and worked his tail off to make up for lost time. Luckily he was able to graduate on time. Sadly, when you are diagnosed with a horrible illness like this, you are looked at differently than the other students. Why not show compassion for all this young man's hard work and effort? He was a leader of his class and had such a high GPA.....he has a great future and I feel he should have been allowed to walk with the other students. When he said he cried at not being included and able to sit with the other students it broke my heart because I saw my son go thru all the emotions one deals with during a cancer fight....I remember his fear, pain, and a lot of tears.

This young man is a champion and I hurt for him.

 

[LinasK]

This is how it went at my high school too. And in college a friend of mine received a notice saying he'd get the diploma when his library fines were paid off.

I don't see what the big deal is, honestly. Let him walk with his friends and have his moment. It's not like he's getting away with something or cheating.

Agreed! I think their inflexibility in letting him walk- considering he almost died of cancer- is cruel! He can makeup the 3 credits the next semester. It's what I did in college.

 

[LinasK]

I read this story earlier and my heart broke for this young man. His story hits so close to home.

My son was diagnosed with cancer when he was a junior in high school at the age of 17. He had to miss a ton of school and worked his tail off to make up for lost time. Luckily he was able to graduate on time. Sadly, when you are diagnosed with a horrible illness like this, you are looked at differently than the other students. Why not show compassion for all this young man's hard work and effort? He was a leader of his class and had such a high GPA.....he has a great future and I feel he should have been allowed to walk with the other students. When he said he cried at not being included and able to sit with the other students it broke my heart because I saw my son go thru all the emotions one deals with during a cancer fight....I remember his fear, pain, and a lot of tears.

This young man is a champion and I hurt for him.

Me too! I saw the story on the news and I almost cried, my heart broke for him...

 

[JeannaT]

I read this story earlier and my heart broke for this young man. His story hits so close to home.

My son was diagnosed with cancer when he was a junior in high school at the age of 17. He had to miss a ton of school and worked his tail off to make up for lost time. Luckily he was able to graduate on time. Sadly, when you are diagnosed with a horrible illness like this, you are looked at differently than the other students. Why not show compassion for all this young man's hard work and effort? He was a leader of his class and had such a high GPA.....he has a great future and I feel he should have been allowed to walk with the other students. When he said he cried at not being included and able to sit with the other students it broke my heart because I saw my son go thru all the emotions one deals with during a cancer fight....I remember his fear, pain, and a lot of tears.

This young man is a champion and I hurt for him.

I agree in part - now, what do you do with the other hand full of kids every single year who have equally compelling stories of challenges outside their control? Have a committee who decides if they're worthy to be included even though they didn't complete the requirements? Seriously, I'm asking. So you'd have a panel of three or so who would decide, this one whose mom died of long and protracted cancer two months ago can graduate shy of the requirements, but this one whose mom is in prison so he's taking care of his younger siblings not so much? It's not black and white, it's a problem.

 

[bluesneakers]

I read this story earlier and my heart broke for this young man. His story hits so close to home.

My son was diagnosed with cancer when he was a junior in high school at the age of 17. He had to miss a ton of school and worked his tail off to make up for lost time. Luckily he was able to graduate on time. Sadly, when you are diagnosed with a horrible illness like this, you are looked at differently than the other students. Why not show compassion for all this young man's hard work and effort? He was a leader of his class and had such a high GPA.....he has a great future and I feel he should have been allowed to walk with the other students. When he said he cried at not being included and able to sit with the other students it broke my heart because I saw my son go thru all the emotions one deals with during a cancer fight....I remember his fear, pain, and a lot of tears.

This young man is a champion and I hurt for him.

That must have been a scary and exhausting time. I'm glad you both came out on this side. :hug:

 

[kaen]

In our area (large metropolitan area), they do the June graduation and a late August graduation for students. I think the issue is wanting to be able to walk for many students---as it is a time for celebrating their achievement. Back in the day, schools were able to make more accommodations for students when things happened that were beyond student control. Back in the dark ages when I graduated from high school, one of my classmates had spent most of high school in and out of chemo and had not finished his coursework. He walked with us and spent the summer in summer school. He died the following February. Since schools can't do that anymore, holding multiple graduations--June and August--- seems like a great idea to me.

 

[Blondie in Spokane]

In our area (large metropolitan area), they do the June graduation and a late August graduation for students. I think the issue is wanting to be able to walk for many students---as it is a time for celebrating their achievement. Back in the day, schools were able to make more accommodations for students when things happened that were beyond student control. Back in the dark ages when I graduated from high school, one of my classmates had spent most of high school in and out of chemo and had not finished his coursework. He walked with us and spent the summer in summer school. He died the following February. Since schools can;t do that anymore, holding multiple graduations--June and August--- seems like a great idea to me.

Oh Kaen.....I am so glad that your classmate was able to walk with his peers....that is a wonderful memory that I am sure he held close to his heart until the day he died. I am so sorry to hear that he passed. it is just not fair that some live and sadly some die after fighting so hard.

 

[Blondie in Spokane]

That must have been a scary and exhausting time. I'm glad you both came out on this side. :hug:

Thank you blue.....I have to admit that I was absolutely terrified, as was my son but he was much stronger than I during his fight. I basically fell apart during that awful time but I am so proud of his courage - he is truly my hero and I am so lucky that he has come through it so well. He is a blessing to me in every way.

 

[kaen]

Oh Kaen.....I am so glad that your classmate was able to walk with his peers....that is a wonderful memory that I am sure he held close to his heart until the day he died. I am so sorry you I hear that he passed. it is just not fair that some live and sadly some die after fighting so hard.

Yes, it was hard and sad. I do think that he loved the idea of being with his class. He and his family might have known something the rest of us did not. It is so awful that you fight and fight only to lose the battle.

I feel for this young man. Nobody jump on me ---but I do kind of think that when you have students that have terrible situations they deserve life credit. Whether it is dealing with siblings because your parent died or is in rehab or you have been dealing with chemo side-effects, do you have to finish your gym credits? Soemthing should be able to be done.

 

[Frigga]

We are not talking about giving these kids diplomas- we are talking about letting them walk with their class and participate in the ritual or celebration. Exactly how or who does it hurt?

Stringent rules or compassion?

Why would there have to be a committee to decide who gets to do it? Let all of the students who didn't fulfill the final requirement(s) for whatever reason walk... we are talking abut walking with their class. This isn't a matter of national security or dangerous- to anyone.

Definitions? Black and white? What a trip.

 

[bluesneakers]

We are not talking about giving these kids diplomas- we are talking about letting them walk with their class and participate in the ritual or celebration. Exactly how or who does it hurt?

Stringent rules or compassion?

Why would there have to be a committee to decide who gets to do it? Let all of the students who didn't fulfill the final requirement(s) for whatever reason walk... we are talking abut walking with their class. This isn't a matter of national security or dangerous- to anyone.

Definitions? Black and white? What a trip.

Right? Like a kid could apply for a job or to college and use a picture of himself receiving a folder while wearing a cap and gown instead of an actual diploma and transcript.

It's as if he's somehow getting away with something being allowed to walk with his classmates.

 

[Blondie in Spokane]

I agree in part - now, what do you do with the other hand full of kids every single year who have equally compelling stories of challenges outside their control? Have a committee who decides if they're worthy to be included even though they didn't complete the requirements? Seriously, I'm asking. So you'd have a panel of three or so who would decide, this one whose mom died of long and protracted cancer two months ago can graduate shy of the requirements, but this one whose mom is in prison so he's taking care of his younger siblings not so much? It's not black and white, it's a problem.

Jeanna....I read your first post earlier today and have to admit that I totally understood where you were/are coming from. I simply could not respond because the situation was just too close to home. I have no answers because, as I said earlier, life is not fair. I have thought about this situation all day and it hurts me so. There are so many challenges facing kids these days. My son was diagnosed in 2007 and now it's 2016 and a whole new world out there with much more drug abuse, rehab and prison, etc. All I can speak to is how hard it was for my wonderful son to graduate when we were faced with astronomical medical bills and I couldn't afford to pay for the cap and gown for him to wear to the ceremony. I was so fortunate that the school paid for it and I am so thankful to this day that they did this for him and made sure he was included. They were so compassionate, worked with him to pass all his classes and I am forever indebted to them for these kind gestures. We were so very lucky and I am so proud of everything my son has accomplished in his life when it looked for a while that he wouldn't be alive much longer.

I just hate to see any young man like Stephen being singled out after such a long, hard battle. He deserved better. I will always take the side of compassion, regardless of the situation but I truly understand that it's such a difficult call to make.

 

[JeannaT]

Jeanna....I read your first post earlier today and have to admit that I totally understood where you were/are coming from. I simply could not respond because the situation was just too close to home. I have no answers because, as I said earlier, life is not fair. I have thought about this situation all day and it hurts me so. There are so many challenges facing kids these days. My son was diagnosed in 2007 and now it's 2016 and a whole new world out there with much more drug abuse, rehab and prison, etc. All I can speak to is how hard it was for my wonderful son to graduate when we were faced with astronomical medical bills and I couldn't afford to pay for the cap and gown for him to wear to the ceremony. I was so fortunate that the school paid for it and I am so thankful to this day that they did this for him and made sure he was included. They were so compassionate, worked with him to pass all his classes and I am forever indebted to them for these kind gestures. We were so very lucky and I am so proud of everything my son has accomplished in his life when it looked for a while that he wouldn't be alive much longer.

I just hate to see any young man like Stephen being singled out after such a long, hard battle. He deserved better. I will always take the side of compassion, regardless of the situation but I truly understand that it's such a difficult call to make.

Thank you, Blondie, for understanding my perspective somewhat. And bless you for the difficult journey you've walked with your dear son.

Until you've done scholarship judging for kids who didn't graduate on time, you'd have no idea how MANY have huge challenges that create barriers to graduating on time. So, how very many Stephens there are out there.

So we have to make an exception for all, or an exception for none, IMHO. Because how much crueler would it be to make an exception for him and include him, but not for the others who had equally difficult paths to walk in high school.

Stephen, at least, has the community on his side fighting for him. He can take real heart in that. How many others sit there all alone in their struggles and have no one taking their side.

 

[i.b.nora]

Six district high schools to live-stream graduation ceremonies
Mesa Public Schools
Posted by Heidi Hurst on Friday, May 20, 2016 at 8:28 AM (MST)

http://www.mpsaz.org/news/articles/...h-schools-to-livestream-graduation-ceremonies

“Dobson, Mesa, Mountain View, Red Mountain, Skyline and Westwood high schools will live-stream May 26 graduation ceremonies.

Unable to attend Mesa Public Schools graduation ceremonies this year? No problem. Thanks to 21st-century technology, people around the globe can watch their favorite seniors receive their diplomas on the internet.

*

"We know how important it is for our seniors to have their loved ones watch them receive their diplomas," says Holly Williams, assistant superintendent for high schools. "Thanks to live-streaming capabilities, anyone, anywhere can watch our ceremonies. For students with parents in the military or friends and family abroad, it means the world. We're happy to do our part to make the day special for all of our students."​

 

[1&2&3]

There are exceptions to every rule! Nothing is written in concrete.

Each case must be considered on its own merit. The two cases mentioned above and this case are extreme examples that deserve honoring the student for what they have achieved under extra ordinary circumstances. Why punish the student wiho has an outstanding school record? Walking with their class is a BIG moment and marks the end of one journey.

In each case, it is the student that knows he must take one more class to get his high school diploma. Without his diploma, his future is pretty bleak. Why deprive them of celebrating when the reason for needing one more class is not their fault? I would limit it to needing one more class though.

 

[Donjeta]

I agree in part - now, what do you do with the other hand full of kids every single year who have equally compelling stories of challenges outside their control? Have a committee who decides if they're worthy to be included even though they didn't complete the requirements? Seriously, I'm asking. So you'd have a panel of three or so who would decide, this one whose mom died of long and protracted cancer two months ago can graduate shy of the requirements, but this one whose mom is in prison so he's taking care of his younger siblings not so much? It's not black and white, it's a problem.

In my opinion there is no need for a panel to make it a problem. There are requirements for getting the diploma and that's as it should be but why do they need to justify taking part in a party as much? As far as walking with the class they identify with and posing for photos, I don't see what the huge problem even if it's someone who will never be able to graduate for whichever reason. Who exactly gets hurt by it? Someone has to go to the trouble to find an extra chair for him, but perhaps the kid would be in the audience otherwise and would need a chair regardless. The person giving a speech may have to add an extra sentence that some of the kids here today worked hard for their education but will get their diplomas a little later. The rest of the students got just the diploma they deserved and are just as happy to graduate even if their friend is there too. How many kids will there be who never bothered to show up and did nothing for their education but want to be there for the graduation ceremony anyway? I seriously doubt that it's going to be a huge problem. It would mostly be kids who care about the school and care about the graduation and being there might even help someone to get the last steps done and motivate them to finish the final courses.

As far as couples hosting weddings without getting married, I don't see much of a problem there either. If the guests they invited don't like the idea, no one needs to attend. For the guests that want to come, cheers and mazeltov, hope it's a great party. I see that as a somewhat irrelevant argument that has nothing to do with kids with cancer attending a graduation, and it's not even such a scary prospect in itself to warrant a slippery slope argument.

 

[JeannaT]

In my opinion there is no need for a panel to make it a problem. There are requirements for getting the diploma and that's as it should be but why do they need to justify taking part in a party as much? As far as walking with the class they identify with and posing for photos, I don't see what the huge problem even if it's someone who will never be able to graduate for whichever reason. Who exactly gets hurt by it? Someone has to go to the trouble to find an extra chair for him, but perhaps the kid would be in the audience otherwise and would need a chair regardless. The person giving a speech may have to add an extra sentence that some of the kids here today worked hard for their education but will get their diplomas a little later. The rest of the students got just the diploma they deserved and are just as happy to graduate even if their friend is there too. How many kids will there be who never bothered to show up and did nothing for their education but want to be there for the graduation ceremony anyway? I seriously doubt that it's going to be a huge problem. It would mostly be kids who care about the school and care about the graduation and being there might even help someone to get the last steps done and motivate them to finish the final courses.

As far as couples hosting weddings without getting married, I don't see much of a problem there either. If the guests they invited don't like the idea, no one needs to attend. For the guests that want to come, cheers and mazeltov, hope it's a great party. I see that as a somewhat irrelevant argument that has nothing to do with kids with cancer attending a graduation, and it's not even such a scary prospect in itself to warrant a slippery slope argument.

Well, then that's a decision that needs to made, is what I'm saying. Either it's a social gathering for people who went to school together, or it's a graduation ceremony.

Either way, it needs to be across the board.

Not just one boy who should be allowed in, while others who achieved as much are not.

I'm not so sure why I'm not able to make this pretty simple complex clear here. All or nothing. Anyone who went to school with that class can come, or just those receiving a diploma. The decision just needs to be made one way or the other.

 

[LinasK]

Well, then that's a decision that needs to made, is what I'm saying. Either it's a social gathering for people who went to school together, or it's a graduation ceremony.

Either way, it needs to be across the board.

Not just one boy who should be allowed in, while others who achieved as much are not.

I'm not so sure why I'm not able to make this pretty simple complex clear here. All or nothing. Anyone who went to school with that class can come, or just those receiving a diploma. The decision just needs to be made one way or the other.

It was a ceremony for graduation- he should have been allowed to walk with his class-conditional upon completing the lousy 3 units during the summer or the next semester. That's what colleges do, and it shouldn't have been that black & white considering this kid nearly died and did everything he could to makeup the units in time- he's no slacker!!!
Heck, my DD's middle school awarded a girl her diploma months early because she died by graduation time. How is this any different??? Show a little compassion.

 

[bluesneakers]

It was a ceremony for graduation- he should have been allowed to walk with his class-conditional upon completing the lousy 3 units during the summer or the next semester. That's what colleges do, and it shouldn't have been that black & white considering this kid nearly died and did everything he could to makeup the units in time- he's no slacker!!!

No kidding.

Walking with his class shouldn't be on the list of what to ask the Make A Wish foundation.

IMO people get a little tiny bit of power and they get controlling and mean. For no reason other than they can. JMO

 

[Squeeze]

Is he scheduled to complete those 3 credits?? I participated in my college graduation a couple of weeks ago, even though Im not officially done until after the summer semester (9 credits). My college has one ceremony per year for fall, spring and summer grads. I don't see anything wrong with him participating in the ceremony.

Sent from my SCH-R970 using Tapatalk