CA CA - Bryce Laspisa, 19, Castaic, 30 Aug 2013 - #6

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  • #861
Thanks much.
Obviously, college seems like it might be a significant issue then.
The 26th was a Monday, did he attend classes the first day?
I know he was reported missing a day or two before Friday, the 30th, when the SUV was found early in the morning.
(I know there's a timeline but I'm typing it because it helps me remember versus just reading the info.)

Thursday was a mess, right? Is that the day he ran out of gas and Christian saw him or did that happen on Wednesday?

Did he go to school at all - Monday and/or Tuesday? What about Wednesday?
Was it a long weekend due to Labor Day? Was Friday part of the holiday weekend? What did he tell his mom about missing school on Thursday? Did he miss the other days as well?

The ONLY thing I have found in MSM is the timeline linked below (pretty close if not the same one Dragracerz gave us in, I believe, the first thread here) in which mom states that he went to two classes on Monday and doesn't indicate that he went to any of his other classes that week. I don't know if he did or didn't attend, just that the only classes mom stated he attended were on Monday with no mention of attending or not attending any other classes in the week. Tuesday he broke up with KS, Wednesday he drove up to Chico and broke up with her again. He left her apartment at night on Wednesday around 11:30pm and called for gas at the rest stop in Buttonwillow at 9am on Thursday morning. The police had his phone pinged and found him on Lagoon Drive in Buttonwillow (outside of the truck stop) around 9pm on Thursday night. He last spoke to his mom around 2am on Friday morning.

I believe there were classes scheduled the entire week with the holiday weekend starting Saturday morning thru Monday night.

"Aug. 26 - Bryce attends his speech class and web design class at Sierra College and has a “good normal conversation” with his mother, according to her."

http://www.signalscv.com/section/36/article/104116/
 
  • #862
To answer your question, my daughter was devastated to leave us and even more devastated to leave her baby sister when she was going away to school . So much that I picked where she was going and where she was living. She looked forward to every Tuesday for me to come up and take her shopping for food and spend time with her. She had never been away from me in her entire life and since I convinced her to go to school there and live there I promised I would visit every week. Yes it was hard. But after her dad died being away from home and her siblings was very hard on her.

You sound like a wonderful, caring and supportive mom :) I think the world needs more Caron's and Karens to raise kids :)
ETAand you shouldn't have to defend or explain yourself :)
 
  • #863
  • #864
No offense but what was caron doing on her daughter's dorm floor for so many hours last year?
Didn't she send the girl away to college?
What's going on, the smothering mother generation? Just strange imo.

This has been alerted multiple times as rude to another poster. Caron addressed it herself much better than I ever could (post #854) so if Caron doesn't alert it, it will stand.
 
  • #865
To answer your question, my daughter was devastated to leave us and even more devastated to leave her baby sister when she was going away to school . So much that I picked where she was going and where she was living. She looked forward to every Tuesday for me to come up and take her shopping for food and spend time with her. She had never been away from me in her entire life and since I convinced her to go to school there and live there I promised I would visit every week. Yes it was hard. But after her dad died being away from home and her siblings was very hard on her.

First I'd like to say thank you for opening up and sharing with us. We are all just trying to help find Bryce, but at the end of the day sometimes I think it is forgotten that we are really tearing into people's lives and their very personal matters and while we can walk away from it when all is said and done, everyone personally involved has had their lives displayed for the world to see. While it is true that details can help break a case, I think we all must remember that just because we have a perception why something is going on or happened, we may in fact be completely wrong, and this is why we should never judge or criticize for what/how/when people choose to open up about.
 
  • #866
Or was he buying himself time? If he didn't tell her anything she could have his phone pinged again with police at his vehicle rather quickly. If he said he was sleeping for the night and would be home in the morning (which, in my opinion, wasn't the truth because he was caught on video driving around the area) it would be hours before she would suspect something was wrong and have the police look for him again. He already knew that if she doubted his whereabouts she had the ability to find out exactly where he was. I wonder if he knew it was his phone that they were able to track? Perhaps he didn't know how they were able to track him and so that is why he left it all behind?

And he thought the car had GPS so he leaves that too!!


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  • #867
To answer your question, my daughter was devastated to leave us and even more devastated to leave her baby sister when she was going away to school . So much that I picked where she was going and where she was living. She looked forward to every Tuesday for me to come up and take her shopping for food and spend time with her. She had never been away from me in her entire life and since I convinced her to go to school there and live there I promised I would visit every week. Yes it was hard. But after her dad died being away from home and her siblings was very hard on her.

I feel like a heel! caron, I'm sorry for sounding so harsh in my post.

About two or three days ago, we were posting about the desire some young men, at age 19, have to break away from being under their parents' wings. Even though the young man still needs his parents, often due to finances they provide, they begin to resent their need for them. Their need for the parent, coupled with their desire to become their own man, causes conflict to exist. The kid translates that the conflict is their parents' fault. No one is at fault; just a part of growing up. But parents can help to ease tension by pretending they're paying less attention to their every move.
The discussion had to to with the psychology of boys though and not girls.

When I read that a mom spent so much time in her daughter's dorm, I thought back to what I just explained. I really couldn't imagine why a mom would be with her daughter so much as you expressed you were there A LOT. You explained that this is the reason why you are sure of the truth regarding Bryce.

After you explained the real reason for your visits, and how you visited once a week as promised per your daughter's wishes, the whole idea sounds lovely and nice and not weird at all. As a matter of fact, you are lucky to have a daughter who wants to see you once a week, enjoys having lunch with you and talking to you on a regular basis.
Your weekly visit hardly sounds like you were there all the time just hanging around in the dorms.

I'm sorry for your and your daughters' loss. It sounds like you're a present and giving mom. Not always easy, I'm sure.

Please accept my apology for my insensitive post. Woe.

(I don't know what gets into me sometimes!)
 
  • #868
Of course we all have questions and are trying to fill in the blanks or the timeframes. IMO most of us believe the days/hours prior to the accident are most critical, hence all of the personal questions. His frame of mind, stress or just wanting to get the h**l out of Dodge! It seems we are all so desperate for information that we keep asking the same questions and just go around in circles.

Does any of this help in bringing Bryce home today? I think not... We have two Verified Insiders who IMO do not feel comfortable joining this forum unless it's to defend themselves or to set things straight.

IMO we need more media attention beyond Castaic and Los Angeles. All of California/Oregon/Illinois need a huge "bump" in media presence. So what can we do to help in this effort is the big question.

Sorry for venting but have been following this since day one and do not mean any disrespect to anyone. Just praying Bryce is found. :please:
 
  • #869
You sound like a wonderful, caring and supportive mom :) I think the world needs more Caron's and Karens to raise kids :)
ETAand you shouldn't have to defend or explain yourself :)

I'm happy she explained though. Because if a student's mother is always hanging out in the dorms with the kids that's weird, no? I guess the key words that confuse are 'always', 'there a lot' (can't remember exact words), and not knowing why or what they mean exactly.
In the future, I'll try to remember to make an inquiry instead of making a smartarse remark when I don't understand something. Or, I could just shut my mouth. Probably not possible though.
 
  • #870
I'm happy she explained though. Because if a student's mother is always hanging out in the dorms with the kids that's weird, no? I guess the key words that confuse are 'always', 'there a lot' (can't remember exact words), and not knowing why or what they mean exactly.
In the future, I'll try to remember to make an inquiry instead of making a smartarse remark when I don't understand something. Or, I could just shut my mouth. Probably not possible though.

I've learned over the years to try to think why someone might do something that seems odd to me. To not judge. Everyone's life experience is different. Like that idiot that just blew past weaving in and out of traffic? Maybe they are going to see a critically ill family member that might not still be here when they arrive. Or that slow poke everyone's cursing at? Maybe this is their first time back on the road after a very traumatic accident.
IDK. Just how I try to think to keep myself from getting irritated. Because I can go there so easily.
 
  • #871
I've learned over the years to try to think why someone might do something that seems odd to me. To not judge. Everyone's life experience is different. Like that idiot that just blew past weaving in and out of traffic? Maybe they are going to see a critically ill family member that might not still be here when they arrive. Or that slow poke everyone's cursing at? Maybe this is their first time back on the road after a very traumatic accident.
IDK. Just how I try to think to keep myself from getting irritated. Because I can go there so easily.

BBM
Hey, I'm slowpoke. Who's all cursing at me? I'm going the speed limit. Y'all are going too fast! Grr, just go around me, go on...;)
 
  • #872
Did anyone see Bryce's YouTube video "Family Secrets"?

http://youtu.be/eEwuRuFonmI

I've seen a lot of subtle speculation about this video. (Not poiting at you, BTW) I think it is important to note that those are Bryce's adorable parents acting in the movie. They seem like good natured and fun people. No way is the scenario in the video at all connected to real events, IMO.

Just as an FYI, I did some research and in tons of missing persons cases that were resolved by finding the person, people also left all there stuff behind.

This was brought up by a few posters that they believed him to not be missing by his own volition because he left stuff behind, this by my research just doesn't prove true. I found that in interviews when asked why they left there stuff behind, a few of them stated that they felt like in order to start fresh they didn't want to bring along things from there past. While others said that items from there past would remind them of what they left behind.

Now I still think its unlikely since he was close with his family but I still wanted to atleast debunk the other thought.

On another thought, he did tell his mom that he was pulling off the freeway in that area to get some rest. I feel like if he was going to do something intentionally, that he wouldn't have been honest about his whereabouts. His mom could easily have gotten in her car and met him there. This all leads me to believe that this was not suicidal or intentional pre-accident. His mind set of course could have changed after the accident but at least before it happened I think he really was grabbing some sleep.

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Wow Amanda. That was some good info. Thank you for that research. It is hopeful because it means this kid may have not intended to harm himself.

No answers today.
Yesterday I felt hopeful; today not so much.

I don't really understand why SD and the girlfriend can't give more information about Bryce's mindset, reasons for breaking up (was this his or her choice or had they broken up a couple of times before?).
It's difficult to gage if the parents are in denial a little bit or just not well informed regarding Bryce's real feelings about school, furture plans, current activities - whatever.
On another case recently, the family gave very little info out about the man who was missing. Not knowing anything causes all kinds of speculation in every possible direction.
If nothing much is offered, I begin to think the information known is negative and would put the missing person in a bad light. At this point, who cares? Any type of info may have something to do with why a person is missing.
I suppose it's possible peeps have offered info to LE that isn't being shared publically.
What do you do after all this time when and if your loved one is found? Initially you'd be over the moon with happiness but then what? Guess it depends on the circumstances of why the person was missing for so long while withholding communication.
I'm trying hard, but can't think of an overall happy ending to this story.
Bryce had better come forward if he is able to NOW. This isn't right behavior on any level for any reason. That's why it must be a bad reason as to why he stays or is gone. I mean, you don't have to be a runaway when you're 19, you can just tell people that you're going somewhere. wth?
No, this isn't good.

Has anyone asked them? Have they read this thread? Are they even aware of our questions? Maybe they are and are just scared or upset. These are very young people who are facing something no one should have to. It must be overwhelming to them. Bless their hearts.

Found it: http://www.kcra.com/news/divers-sea...nt/-/11797728/21771812/-/gdad40z/-/index.html

Worth noting, a brief interview with his GF is on here. Also, in the shot with the highway patrol I noticed orange marks on the road matching some of the ones we've been talking about.

I recommend watching the interview if you can because it's a lot more informative than the article, but from the article:

"A former roommate said Laspisa moved to the Northern California school to start over after a troubled past.

Nick Cavena said Laspisa partied harder than most students and wasn't surprised by his disappearance.

"I expected nothing good could come from the path he was on,” Cavena said.

Cavena said Laspisa was evicted by the college last year from their dorm, and their friendship ended, but he had no ill will toward Laspisa.

“We didn’t end on very good terms, but I mean, once I heard about it, it was very concerning, if he is found, he is safe, he needs help,” Cavena said."

I will get back to this.

I was taught a subtle variation of this, namely that men tend to pick more violent methods of suicide that tend to be disfiguring, where women tend to pick methods that are less overtly violent or don't disfigure their face. I don't know what real data if any backs this up and there are of course many exceptions.

I did have a female friend who had a single car accident at highway speed and didn't remember what happened. I always wondered, given her own depression history, if it wasn't an attempted suicide.

Still, in Bryce's case, I still think he was either trying to get to the ramp to ditch the car and disappear, or to ride it into the water as a suicide. In either case, he tries to get around the gate and wrecks. He then either continues on his plan to disappear - leaving the hopelessly rolled vehicle, or if he is planning the suicide route he either leaves in confusion or embarrassment to parts unknown.

If trying to disappear I can't believe he didn't take the laptop to sell, but maybe he was worried about being tracked or was headed somewhere on a plan where he didn't need much money or had some stashed already.

The data totally backs this up. Here's just one exMple: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_differences_in_suicide
And White Orchid stated "usually" not "always". Stats can be a helpful guideline.

Caron confirmed Kim took the keys.

I'm afraid the very long list sounds like everything we need to really be able to solve this but to family or LE, it's all none of our business.

You've seen the posts here saying "why does it matter?" Some of the info is too personal or not even known to begin with.

Yeah, and I understand a bit. If Bryce was suicidal or mentally ill or really into
drugs when he went missing this would not be something the family wants plastered all over the place because it could hurt him once he is found.

I noticed that in several similar cases where the young person was found, the family circles the wagons and we really never hear about the missing person again. I've thankfully never had missing child before so I can't imagine. but sometimes I wonder how stigma or fears of it may hurt these cases.

Of course we all have questions and are trying to fill in the blanks or the timeframes. IMO most of us believe the days/hours prior to the accident are most critical, hence all of the personal questions. His frame of mind, stress or just wanting to get the h**l out of Dodge! It seems we are all so desperate for information that we keep asking the same questions and just go around in circles.

Does any of this help in bringing Bryce home today? I think not... We have two Verified Insiders who IMO do not feel comfortable joining this forum unless it's to defend themselves or to set things straight.

IMO we need more media attention beyond Castaic and Los Angeles. All of California/Oregon/Illinois need a huge "bump" in media presence. So what can we do to help in this effort is the big question.

Sorry for venting but have been following this since day one and do not mean any disrespect to anyone. Just praying Bryce is found. :please:

You have a point. I've seen very few posts of strategies to actually find Bryce as opposed to posts about what exactly happened. Perhaps that's because some feel pretty certain about what happened but their theories veer from the family's. I don't know. And again, I can't imagine what this is like.
I have various ideas on what to do or what I would try but the family is going to do things their way, and they are working with professionals. So it's hard to complain.

I'm happy she explained though. Because if a student's mother is always hanging out in the dorms with the kids that's weird, no? I guess the key words that confuse are 'always', 'there a lot' (can't remember exact words), and not knowing why or what they mean exactly.
In the future, I'll try to remember to make an inquiry instead of making a smartarse remark when I don't understand something. Or, I could just shut my mouth. Probably not possible though.

Hey, Woe. I have seen your posts. You are a good person. Everyone makes mistakes now and then. I know I have. To your credit you admitted your mistake. That's a sign of good character IMO!!

P.S.: It IS a very different generation and there ARE a lot of helicopter
Parents out there. Which frustrates me sometimes as i had such freedom to learn and feel and grow and make mistakes! But parents tend to be
Closer with their kIds than ever and both parents and kids tend to be more open. I think there are some great things and some crummy ones about this generation.
 
  • #873
When I sent my 18 year old son out of state to college, it was with the knowledge that he was living with his sister off campus and he was being taken care of. I could not have done it otherwise.

I imagine it was hard for KL to let Bryce to away so far by himself. I commend her for having the strength to do that. It's hard to let your baby go. My oldest one left home once she was married. She was married several years when he brother went to join her. I knew she'd keep an eagle eye on him.

I don't think KL or Caron should be criticized in any way for sending their children away to college, nor for keeping close contact with them. If you're a good parent, that's what you do. Let them leave the nest but keep an eye on them to see how they do if if they are really ready to fly. IMO, JMO, MOO
 
  • #874
41 days and still no Bryce Laspisa.
 
  • #875
I'm happy she explained though. Because if a student's mother is always hanging out in the dorms with the kids that's weird, no? I guess the key words that confuse are 'always', 'there a lot' (can't remember exact words), and not knowing why or what they mean exactly.
In the future, I'll try to remember to make an inquiry instead of making a smartarse remark when I don't understand something. Or, I could just shut my mouth. Probably not possible though.

To answer your question...I think it's a fine line, and also may vary depending on the student. My sister visits her only son often at college. Several times a week. He is in his senior year, and she has been doing this the entire time he's been at college. He doesn't mind, and often posts on fb that he's looking forward to her visit. My nephew is ADHD and high functioning Aspergers. My sis and nephew have a really close relationship. My nephew elected to forego medication years ago to treat his condition. He went through extensive training and counseling to learn how to control his impulsive behavior. My sister is like a life coach for him in some ways. When he is having an issue, he talks to her about it and together they come up with solutions.

My husband and I have 8 kids. I visited my daughter at college frequently, though not weekly because I was just too darn busy. However, I doubt I will ever visit my youngest son at college. He's a senior in HS now. He is mortified if I text or call him during school hours. Heaven forbid if I were to show up at his school, he would probably never talk to me again :lol: with the other 6 kids, we only showed up when they asked us to. so really, I think it just depends on the child and parent. JMO
 
  • #876
BBM
Hey, I'm slowpoke. Who's all cursing at me? I'm going the speed limit. Y'all are going too fast! Grr, just go around me, go on...;)

That slow poke is my youngest son learning to drive. And he's going super slow because mom is having a heart attack, hyperventilating and hanging on for dear life in the seat next to him :lol:
 
  • #877
I think I've secured enough volunteers to make the trip to BW happen on either Sat or Sun so if one follows through we should have a back up this time. Will see how the week goes on.

Just praying that something comes up there because it seems like were at a standstill. This is the lowest point I've felt since he went missing. Out of ideas. Out of theories. Just wish we would find him already.



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  • #878
I was so annoyed this morning, I was reading this thread right before bed and I had a dream that Bryce had been found safe. When I woke up I was all set to check the thread again until I remembered it was only a dream!
 
  • #879
I'm getting very worried.

Bryce is still missing.

Volunteer numbers seem to be dwindling.

Ideas and theories have been hashed, and rehashed.


Hoping the new search finds SOMETHING to lead to where Bryce is.
 
  • #880
I woke up this morning feeling like we need some feet on the ground around Sierra College. Certainly by now there has to be some theories, scuttlebutt, something. Do we have anyone on here that can pass out some flyers and poke around?

We NEED to get Bryce home to his family. As a mom myself I can't fathom what they have been going through. It about killed me when my son was deployed on a ship and we had very little contact. Although I knew he was on a ship I didn't know WHERE he was. The worry and heartache is all-consuming. Let's get Bryce home already!
 
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