I think we expect adults to heal themselves from this. Adults have self control, know right from wrong.
I wish the law would look on abuse like this the same way they look at maiming. It shouldnt get a pass. But then again how would we quantify what this set of experiences has cost you On??
Well, I'm biased, but I think that the law in this area is woefully inadequate. I tend to be a bit of a conservative hardliner on all crimes of malice (probably because of my experiences). I tend to believe that people who are deliberately causing physical or mental abuse to others for the purpose of their own enjoyment should be removed from society until they no longer have the desire to do this. How you prove that they no longer have the desire, I don’t know. Frankly, I don’t care. Let them rot in prison forever, send them to an island, or toss their carcass in the ground. I don’t care. (Instead, we slap them on the wrist with 3 years in prison, then let them out "on probation" so that they can do it again and again until they're caught the next time.) I have no idea how you address the developmentally disabled side of this... I think my feeling is that this is an entirely different issue, and really has nothing to do with pedophilia. On the flip side of it, I think that a NON-developmentally disabled person taking advantage of an adult DD person is really doing the same thing that a pedophile does.
How do you assess the damage? I have no idea. If you want to look at it from a strictly financial damage standpoint (in my specific case): Well there’s the cost of the original fraudulent “treatment” provided by ayres (no idea how much this cost my parents...) The years of wasted time and money on therapy that I spent as an adult (Maybe $30,000) in which I deliberately avoided any mention of what happened. Not to mention the fact that I was taking about an hour off of work time each week (varied by appointment time)
More vague financially that I think might be considered: my focus in college was not great and I dropped out, losing the remaining benefit of a full scholarship, and then having to take out $20K in loans to finish much later. .. Maybe consider some part of money wasted on stupid things that I was doing to distract from focus. How do you do the split? Everyone has some degree of these wasted time/distraction from reality type issues going on. Maybe I cope particularly well, and my levels are within the range of “normal.” I just don’t know.
Even more gray, and non-financial: Without getting too personal, I’m not so great at trust/personal closeness, and it's gotten worse as I've gotten older. This is not fair to my family. There are periods of time that my level of distraction (focus on the past) is quite high. (For example, I’m spending time writing this, and frankly I have a strong NEED to write this. I should be focused on other things right now.) I can’t tell you how many times I thought to myself that I’d MUCH prefer to be one of those people who just doesn’t care at all about this stuff…. That I’d LOVE to be one of those people who says: “stop whining about it, and get on with your life.” This all negatively affects many aspects of life.
There is much deeper, darker stuff… I won’t talk about that too much, but a small example is that when I drive down the freeway, alone, in my car, the cement pylons that hold up the overpasses have bright targets painted on them. They are like the Sirens… I intend to keep resisting, but I don’t get the impression that “normal” people have to put up with that. Frankly I’ve never asked anyone. Maybe I’m just normal.
So am I going for the sympathy here? A bit I suppose... I want people to understand that this is a critical issue. The way I see it though, is that the people who "Get it" already "get it." I don't know how to open everyone else's eyes that it's a really, really bad problem.