[FONT="]Who would not be anxious at a big red carpet deal!! Think about it, however, what is it really. It’s all about quick, superficial social interactions with one after the other. [/FONT]
[FONT="]What do these interactions entail? Social skills. Social norms about how to appropriately interact with others – eye contact, shake hands, quick hugs, little embraces, How are you? Nice to see you etc. Communicating with another. (communicating) .[/FONT]
[FONT="]What is the hallmark of the illness. An inability to understand and grasp what appropriate communication and behaviors are and the capacity to engage in those behaviors.[/FONT]
[FONT="]In addition, if you notice dad, when placed in the position ( all three of them standing still next to an individual) engaging, Dad when probably asked is this your son, Dad quickly, and dismissively dealt with the issue with his hand. That was information for the individual ( again body language) who asked the question,( non-verbally) this is my son move on- don’t engage..[/FONT]
[FONT="]Kind of like if a couple had just been arguing and someone approaches and say something like oh how long have you two ben married, this must be the love of your life , this must your lovely wife, etc. the body language (none of us need to be overtly told , we sense it we understand the non verbals) and the conversation (marriage/your wife) was not a good "topic “right now, and we would change the topic.[/FONT][FONT="]All of us have been able to “sense” nonverbal, subtle communications and change the subject, drop it etc[/FONT]
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Dad knew that it could be high risk ( escalation /scene) if his son was placed in a situation wherein he might have to, appropriately handle: How old are you, are you in college, you have a girlfriend, what are you studying (all typical social engagement stuff).[/FONT]
[FONT="]what is first thing you would do , if you were at the red carpet with your child meeting people. First thing….. I want you meet my x, this is Mary my daughter etc. You will notice throughout both mom and dad (cause they got themselves educated on the illness), LET him be background and distant –they know that is comforting for the Autistic– they know this is a very difficult environ for him, AND that if pushed,(introduced over and over and being tasked with engaging in social skills appropriately) is overwehem,ing, and could result in a variety of negative behaviors , saying something totally inappropriate, break down in tears, explode etc.[/FONT][FONT="]. [/FONT]
[FONT="] What behaviors and skill set is required When meeting someone new? Eye contact, appropriate affect, smile etc. Thus far anyone seen a picture of him smiling – chances are if you look at dozens of pictures of AS sufferers few might smiling – blunted affect a flatness or dullness, Another hallmark. The autistic cannot, has not, and will never have the capacity to grasp and understand those concepts- hence the isolation. [/FONT]
[FONT="]If anyone is attracted to someone there is an increase in anxiety when approaching. Some people let call them “Players” , “pick up artists" whatever can be quite good at it. . They have mastered the skill set needed to be good at engaging with someone for amorous or sexual needs. [/FONT]
[FONT="]......... other post" [/FONT][FONT="]step-mom making a huge scene about him walking into her and dad's home without knocking.[/FONT]
[FONT="]We know, and understand, those expectations. Knocking on a door is about respecting ones right to “privacy” ,an individual . suffering with A can’t grasp that concept ---- “privacy”.[/FONT]
[FONT="]What is the hallmark of the illness? An inability to “understand” an expectation that we behave appropriately as far a social norms and behaviors go. All of us "know" one does not just open the front door of someone’s house and enter.[/FONT]
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[FONT="]Post regarding the sites The Player Supreme Show, etc.: We’re all here (WS) ,because we have interest in this case. And we know mms is not going to be much of help! And this thread directly addresses ER.[/FONT]
[FONT="].According to the article...... “including RSDfreetour and which rails against the feminization of men and gives tips on how to pick up women” .( feminization-WAY too big of a concept form someone suffering with A) . THAT (tips) was his visiting those sites, what /how do they all get girls)? He asks that question relentlessly in both his writings and videos.[/FONT]
[FONT="]What do you feel when your "frustrated? That is what their lives consist of a constant state of frustration, becasue others around them are typically not "OK" or comfortable with the only ways they know how to behave and interact [/FONT]
[FONT="]This analogy was often helpful when working with family systems trying it understand a loved on:. If you look at the illness like being in a foreign country, with a language you do not speak or understand, – that is what living is like for , an individual suffering wiht A.[/FONT]
[FONT="]Just can’t get it.[/FONT]
